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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26370442">North Star</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/candycornfield/pseuds/candycornfield'>candycornfield</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, HEA, Imprinting (Twilight), Twilight Renaissance, Twilight Spitefic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:47:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>68,296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26370442</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/candycornfield/pseuds/candycornfield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When everyone else is telling you where your heart belongs, what do you do when your North Star is showing you another way home?</p><p>Renesmee Cullen has had her life planned since birth. The perfect baby, the perfect child, and soon to be the perfect bride. Yet she knows deep in her heart this is not what she wants and needs to break away to find out who she is on her own. She's done living with this curse and is ready to focus on a future she can look forward to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Renesmee Cullen/Original Female Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>264</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue and Chapter One (Prisoner)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadedJulienna/gifts">JadedJulienna</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First person POV, past tense. Written because I hate the concept of imprinting, especially on toddlers and infant babies. Nothing will ever convince me that child grooming is romantic, not sorry SMeyer. Like most of the things I do, this started as a joke and ended up being something I've put too much effort into, haha. I'm extremely nervous to be posting this, as I haven't seriously posted something I've written like this for around 15 years? This will probably be very slow going, sorry about that. Thank you for reading.</p><p>Happy birthday, Renesmee. (haha)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Prologue</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I'd never given much thought to how I would leave home - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.</p><p>I stared without breathing across the clearing in the dense woods, into the wide eyes of an angel, and she looked timidly back at me.</p><p>Surely it was a good enough reason to leave, to be forced into the arms of someone else, someone I didn’t love. Justified, even. That ought to count for something.</p><p>I knew that if I'd never left Forks, I wouldn't be facing freedom now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a nightmare so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not unreasonable to grieve when it comes to life.</p><p>The angel smiled in a friendly way as she stepped forward to greet me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Chapter One (Prisoner)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was curled up in a plush chair in a corner of my room, tossing another finished book to the floor. I spent a lot of time like this lately, isolated and burning through book after book. I hated reading anything twice. There had been times where I would even be inclined to pick up a textbook in Grandfather’s study just to have something in my hands to read. It was escapism at its finest. It helped me live through the eyes of people with choices and uncharted roads ahead of them. It also kept Dad from hearing too many of my personal thoughts when everything at the forefront of my mind was someone else’s written words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Privacy was hard to come by in my life. For one, my father couldn’t exactly turn off his ability to read minds. Only Mom was lucky enough to not have to worry about her thoughts being exposed. There was also the fact that my patchwork family was very large, much more so than what I believed to be normal. Every day I was surrounded by two aunts, two uncles, my parents, my grandparents… not to mention that my other grandfather lived in the same town. I was smothered by their eyes, their voices, their scents. It got to a point where I started to refuse entry to anyone other than myself into my own room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I reached out blindly to the shelf beside me and grabbed the first book my fingers touched. Everything in this particular bookcase was fiction and fantasy. More and more I was drawn to stories of brave young women escaping their castles and standing tall with a love and destiny they found on their own. It broke my heart every time I reached another final page of another impossible story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie…” I heard my mother gently call from outside my door. I cringed at the nickname I’d come to resent. “Nessie, honey, you’ll need to come out soon. Jake will be here any minute now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now I cringed harder, balling in on myself and gripping at my hair. This was the hardest part of my days now. If I could make this go away, I would trade it for five more sets of aunts and uncles hovering over me constantly. Gladly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. This was “my Jacob”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only minutes after my birth, in the arms of my Aunt Rose, I was imprinted on by Jacob Black. Jacob was a mental rollercoaster to think about. He had loved my mother, loved her to the point it became aggressive. Even when my parents were together, he pushed and clawed himself into the center of her life. He even planned to kill me before the imprint, in an act of revenge for my birth causing her death. Somehow, we both lived that day. My mother became a beautiful, immortal creature - a vampire - and I became a prisoner of fate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An imprint was an important part of the werewolf pack Jacob belonged to. When a wolf locked eyes with his imprintee, he would from that point on only be able to think about her. He would become anything for her: a protector, a family member, a friend… a lover. I had countless people, both from my vampire family and the pack promise that an imprint was not strictly romantic, that it was a bond of loyalty. Yet I also heard it said that in the face of such unwavering, unconditional devotion, how could she possibly resist that “natural progression”? Despite the promises coming out of their mouths, their minds all knew it was a straight path to inevitable marriage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, I was imprinted on during my first breaths of life. I was also, whether consciously or not, being groomed to one day becoming Jacob’s mate. And I had no choice in the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, I tucked my book under my arm and headed for the door. My mother was there, smiling at me in a way that should have lifted my spirits. Her golden eyes held nothing but warmth in them. I sighed, leaning in for a hug. Her cool hands briefly rubbed my back and I wished that she could understand the pain swimming in my heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Mom,” I mumbled when she pulled away. It was almost humorous now to call her that. We were very close in appearance to being the same age.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” she smiled back. “How long have you been awake? You’re quiet even for my ears.” She laughed. I said nothing back, only placed my hand on her smooth cheek and flipped through mental images of the last book I read before she came to collect me. Though I was only half vampire - a hybrid - I had a few special powers of my own. If I could touch someone, I could place my own thoughts into their minds and show them what I’ve seen. She laughed again. “Alway lost in a book.” If only it would be so easy to get someone, anyone, to grasp how I was feeling now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made my way into the living room of our forest-secluded cottage. I took a seat on the couch and felt my stomach coil into a tight knot. He would be here soon. Dread crept through me. As I aged, which was very rapidly since birth, I became more and more aware of everyone’s intentions for me and Jacob. As a child, I thought he was a member of my family. He could have been a brother or an uncle for all I knew then. Then, the attention made me happy and it was exciting that I got to play with someone who could turn into a giant dog. Time passed and I aged further, appearing to be a teenager. I started seeing my world more objectively. A feeling took seed in my heart, a dark weed that grew and tangled its way inside me. I had no name for this feeling, this unease that grew stronger every time Jacob looked into my eyes. Now, I probably looked around fifteen or sixteen years old. I was getting close to when it was thought I would stop aging. Now, that tangled weed in my heart bloomed into awakening. I could put many names to that feeling now. Discomfort, fear, disgust, despair. Sometimes anger. I did not love Jacob how he loved me and I could not. Could </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I felt that in my very soul. It was, for a lack of a better way to describe it, creepy that this was even allowed to go on. I was reaching a breaking point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The front door clicked open. His scent drifted into the living room and I steeled myself. In no time at all, his huge frame stepped through the arch to the room and he beamed down at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie!” he yelled my name, as if he didn’t see me every single day. He leaned down as if to scoop me into a hug, but seeing that I made no move to accept it he ran his fingers through the hair on top of my head and ruffled it instead. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from flinching back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Jacob,” my father said, keeping a neutral expression on his face as he walked into the room from the kitchen. Jacob waved back, keeping his eyes on me. “You two can come in and eat breakfast now. Please try today, Renesmee?” Dad at least acknowledged how much I’d come to dislike my nickname, bestowed upon me by Jacob himself, and made an effort to use my real name. We all shuffled into the small dining room, where two plates steaming with fresh omelettes sat waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I huffed. I really didn’t care for human food. It felt more natural to drink blood, like my family did, although I wished that I could have human blood more easily. Animals were fine, and my family survived on that kind of blood exclusively. As a child, I had the luxury of bags of donated blood, given to me by Grandfather. I was lucky he was a doctor. Now, however, that had been cut off and I was pushed more each day to get used to human food. It would help monumentally for my human persona to be able to eat food in a school cafeteria surrounded by actual human teenagers. Whatever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat down and robotically picked up my fork. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could try to escape back into my room. I stuck a chunk of omelette into my mouth. The taste wasn’t bad, per se, just uninspiring. Dad was trying new things to get me more interested in eating and seemed to have added Tobasco this time. Jacob watched my every move as I ate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still not wearing the bracelet I made you?” he asked with a hint of hurt in his tone. “I still don’t understand why you stopped wearing it. I would mean a lot to me if you would put it back on.” I kept my eyes forward, trying to put that stupid thing out of my mind. It was a hand woven bracelet that Jacob had made for me for my first Christmas. I never took it off. That is, until I found out that it was what his family considered to be a promise ring of sorts. I ripped it off my arm and buried it under the floorboards of my closet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacob wasn’t going to let it go. He reached over and took my wrist in his hand, gently stroking it with his thumb as he looked intensely in my eyes. “It makes me so happy to see it on you, Nessie. And it lets me show you off to the world, in a way. They can see that you’re my girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I snapped. This was the breaking point. The final straw that I could manage to tolerate. I stood abruptly, too quickly to not cause alarm. Jacob dropped my arm and my parents turned to stare. I forced my mind to stay as blank as I could to keep Dad from hearing the plan unfolding in my mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think of Aunt Rose. Think of Aunt Rose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the food,” I told my father. “I’m going to the main house now. I promised to spend the day with Aunt Rose. Goodbye.” I bolted from the dining room as fast as I could without seeming too suspicious and ran to my room. When things got too bad, too much to handle, I always ended up running to Aunt Rose. She kept me feeling normal, or the closest thing I could with what we were. It also helped that Jacob was reluctant to follow me when I was with her, especially if it was just us. She was a balm to my ache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shut my mind off with all my might and ran through the front door. I could hear my parents talking to Jacob in a friendly way, normal conversation, as I made my way out. Their initial alarm at my sudden departure had dissipated; it was normal for me to have plans like this. Jacob made a desperate, choking sound as I dashed down the path in the front yard and I could feel his eyes on my back as I disappeared through the trees towards my extended family’s home.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two (Decisions)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who has read my story so far. If you're coming back to read another chapter, I want to let you know it means a lot to me. I hope you like this next part.</p><p>In case it's not obvious, Rosalie is one of my favorite characters and it will never not break my heart how badly she was treated by SMeyer. (She and Leah deserved so much more.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Two (Decisions)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I made it to the house uneventfully. Like I thought, my abrupt departure wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary and no one thought much of it. It wasn’t like I hadn’t just walked out of the cottage before and made my way to Aunt Rose for some peace of mind.</p><p>I loved my Aunt Rose. Rosalie, the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, was attached to me from day one. More accurately, even from before day one. She had been there to protect Mom and her decision to have me. When I was born and Mom was undergoing her change as a vampire, Aunt Rose took me in her arms and kept me safe. She was someone I could trust.</p><p>Grandmother was at the door when I arrived. It was almost more ridiculous to call her that than it was to call my mother “Mom”. Esme looked like she could have been an older sister, after all. She gave me a quick, gentle hug and a bright smile.</p><p>“It’s so nice to see you, Renesmee.” I smiled back up at her. I’d only had to correct her once and she never used my nickname after.</p><p>“Is…”</p><p>“Is Rosalie home? Of course, dear. In the other room.”</p><p>I followed Grandmother out of the entryway and saw Aunt Rose sitting with her head resting on Uncle Emmett’s shoulder. They looked like a marble statue, sculpted together in perfect stillness. She looked up at me as I got closer and flashed a small smile.</p><p>“Still haven’t gotten enough of me? We just went shopping not even a week ago.”</p><p>“I’d never get enough time with my favorite aunt,” I told her honestly. If she could, I thought she might be blushing now. She looked embarrassed but very pleased.</p><p>Uncle Emmett slapped his thigh. “I’m telling Alice!” His laugh was contagious.</p><p>“Please don’t, Uncle Emmett!” I laughed with him, knowing he wouldn’t really do it.</p><p>He stood and waved his arms, teasing me. “Oooh, I’m telling!” His eyes sparkled. “Nessie’s in trouble now!” Hearing that broke the spell a bit and I was reminded why I came. I turned back to Aunt Rose, trying to keep my expression light.</p><p>“Could I talk to you, please?” She must have seen something in my face and gave me a serious look.</p><p>“Yes, sure. Let me take you to my room.” She led me up to a room that might have been called a bedroom if it had a bed in it. Instead, it looked more like a tastefully decorated lounge. The chairs were modern, but with touches of a classic Hollywood aesthetic. She sat down in a white chair with a jewel toned cushion. I sat in a similar chair close by.</p><p>“We shouldn’t be heard up here,” she told me. “Carlisle is at work and Alice and Jasper are still out hunting.” I wrung my hands, starting to get nervous the more real this plan became.</p><p>“I can’t do this anymore,” I said in a pathetically small voice. “I can’t keep pretending none of this bothers me. It takes all of my willpower not to scrub myself down with steel wool every night knowing I’m the child bride of my mother’s former flame. It makes me sick. And I… can’t.. do this anymore.” Everything started falling out in a rush and I ended up choking on the words at the end in a sob. “I’m so tired! I am so, so tired!” I didn’t realize I had been shaking until Aunt Rose moved closer and held me steady, stroking my hair as if I was still a baby.</p><p>Her voice was strained. “I’m sorry.” There was a long pause and I tried to take in the comfort of her touch. She pulled back and held my tear streaked face in her hands. “What do you want, Renesmee? What do <em> you </em> want?”</p><p>“I want out,” I admitted, my voice still shaky. “I want to live a life that wasn’t planned for me at birth. I want to make my own choices. I want…” I thought of my fantasy books and another tear slid down my cheek. “...to fall in love normally.” I let my anguished mental images flash in her mind.</p><p>Aunt Rose nodded once. “I never got to have those options, to live my life the way I wanted. But I will make sure you do.” She suddenly looked like a woman on a mission, almost radiating a purposeful anger, and relief washed through me. She made her way to her computer, an impressive looking setup in the corner of the room. Her hands flew around and the otherwise silent room was filled with clicking. My anxiety got the better of me and I walked over to stand behind her shoulder.</p><p>“This is going to take a few days,” she told me, eyes still on the screen. “I’ll need time to prepare you the paperwork you’ll need for your new identity. ID, birth records, the like. I’ll also need to set you up with one of my bank accounts. No one but myself knows it exists, so you can charge whatever you want on it and no one will know. The house will need to be cleaned before you get there and the utilities should be running by that time, too.” She stopped and closed her eyes, concentrating on the plans she would need to make. My jaw dropped.</p><p>“How did you know to do all this? Why did you…?”</p><p>“Have all this? We move frequently, child. We can be uprooted at a moment’s notice. I have to have plans to move on quickly just in case. At the very least, to protect me and Emmett. Or the others, if us leaving would protect them, too.”</p><p>“Where am I going?” I had no clue. My mental plan hadn’t made it this far.</p><p>“I’m setting you up in a quiet little town in New York. That wolf will try to track you down, no doubt in my mind. You’ll need to be far enough away that your scent will never reach him. Going to the East Coast should do it.” She tucked a lock of my curls behind my ear when I didn’t respond right away. I was shocked. “It’s alright. I already have your home situation taken care of. It’s a small property in the area I already own. Cozy little place. I briefly entertained married life with Emmett there, but our plans ended up changing.”</p><p>This was it. This was my escape. My chains were dissolved, my heart had hope, and I was going to live my own life. I was almost dizzy with how fast this was happening. I sat back down and Aunt Rose came over with me. Freedom.</p><p>“Like I said, though, it will take a few days. You can use this time to sort out what you want to bring. Make sure Edward doesn’t catch on to this as best you can.” I nodded. “Do you have a name you’d like to use?” I was caught off guard again and just looked up at her, words escaping me.</p><p>“A name?”</p><p>“Sure, your documents will need to have your name on it and it’s not really in your best interest to use your real one if you don’t want to be found. Now, you can pick your own name. Maybe something a bit more… you this time?” She smiled at me, a bit of a tiny smirk.</p><p>Aunt Rose knew I didn’t care for my name that much. My nickname was like nails on a chalkboard to me now, but my actual name felt very detached from myself. I was told a long time time ago it was a combination of my grandmothers, Esme and Renee. Esme, Grandmother, I loved. She was gentle and patient with me. Being around her was almost meditative. Calming. Renee on the other hand… I didn’t even have a name for. I had never met her and she didn’t even know I existed. Mom said it would have been too hard on her to be included in our world. I didn’t feel too much of a loss from it, though. With the stories I heard from Mom, I didn’t know if I really felt much love for her, the grown adult “child” that forced my mother into the role of her caretaker instead. To be named after a woman like that, who I had never even met, was strange to me. If only I had just been called Esme.</p><p>“Maybe something… similar?” I tried to sort through my thoughts and find what felt right. “That way it wouldn’t be too much of a change. It would be easy to respond to.” Despite not being crazy about my name, it would be hard to just go with something too drastically different. It was the name my mother picked for me, after all. The name I had all my life. “What about something like Renna? Or May?”</p><p>“Renna?” Aunt Rose tilted her head to the side and her golden hair flowed down her shoulder. She began typing something on her computer. “This says it could mean ‘born again’ or ‘rebirth’. That’s odd.”</p><p>I straightened up and looked over at her, wide eyed. “Are you serious?” That was too much of a coincidence.</p><p>“Of course I’m serious,” she huffed and gave me an unimpressed look. It was still so weird how perfectly that matched my mission. Though “May” would have been nice, closer to Esme, now I couldn’t get my mind off of “Renna”.</p><p>“I thought I just made that up,” I admitted.</p><p>“Apparently, it’s a real name. Is that what you want?”</p><p>I clasped my hands together in my lap and sucked in a huge breath. This was it. The new me. “Yes.”</p><p>“Then it’s settled. Do you want to pick a middle and last name?”</p><p>“Uh…” I had nothing prepared, not even for a first name. I tried to think again. Maybe I should pick something to flatter Aunt Rose a bit, as a way to show her how much her help meant to me. It would also help me feel connected to her when I was so far away from people I loved. “Lily.” After Lillian, her middle name. I met her eyes and hoped my meaning wasn’t lost on her.</p><p>It wasn’t, by the way she stiffened up and seemed to be at a loss for words. The pause in conversation lasted a beat too long and she turned her head abruptly, moving on without meeting my gaze again. When she finally spoke, the first word was a bit wobbly. “And a last name?”</p><p>I shook my head. “I have no idea about that one.”</p><p>“I’ll just pick one then.” She shot me a glance to see if that was okay, and I nodded. A few more clicks and she was composed again. She shut off the computer and swivelled around. “Then you have four days. Go make them count, but keep your thoughts down.”</p><p>I had tears in my eyes again. Impulsively, I latched onto Aunt Rose in a quick, tight hug. She patted my head, sighing.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay. This will be good for you. And probably for the others, too. Maybe this will finally get people to understand and appreciate you more. Plus, it’s not like it’s forever.” Now she flashed me a sarcastic grin. “We’ll all still be here no matter how long you need to take.”</p><p>I laughed. That was definitely true.</p><p>She pulled away and stood up, gathering some things in a briefcase. “I’ll be out for the time you have to wait. I’m going to be busy securing all of the things you’ll need. Plus, it will keep Edward away from listening too closely.” She tapped her temple. “Alice should be fine, she can’t see you in her visions and what I’m doing is directly tied to you. Everything should go smoothly. Just keep your mind quiet and your family happy.” She walked through her door, gesturing vaguely to the rest of the house.</p><p>“Thank you, Aunt Rose,” I said, trying to pour as much gratitude in it as possible. I tapped her arm and flashed a few memories of us for her. Us in a luxury brand store, making comments between giggles that Aunt Alice could design circles around anything there. A memory of Aunt Rose being held loosely in Uncle Emmett’s arms, holding a book out to me. A few still images of her just smiling at me.</p><p>She said nothing, but she smiled back and the joy touched her eyes. We both walked back to the living room and Aunt Rose continued out the door, giving Uncle Emmett a swift kiss before leaving. “Business,” she said quietly, a sweet look on her face. No one thought anything of it.</p><p>A approached Grandmother and began my string of not-goodbyes. They weren’t really, I told myself. I was coming back in the future. I tried to keep things light.</p><p>“Can we work on our flower bed, Grandmother?”</p><p>Her face lit up. “Yes! Oh, I just got some samples for the stones we could use. Come, let’s go look.”</p><p>I spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon ordering materials and setting up the area for the flower bed. We picked a patterned marble and laid out where they would each go. I thought peonies would be pretty and Grandmother insisted they be white to match the house. Most of her furniture was white or in muted tones. I resisted rolling my eyes and just told her I thought that would be nice. She kept a very unnaturally clean house, but it suited her.</p><p>“I believe that’s all we can do for today, dear. The materials will be here by next week and we can finish it up.” A wave a quilt ripped through me. She would have to finish our project on her own. I forced my face not to crumble and held strong. My future was at stake here.</p><p>“Is my darling little niece here?” a sing-song voice called from out the front door. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz glided in the house, their eyes a stunning gold from a fresh hunt.</p><p>“I was hoping to see you guys today,” I responded, giving them both a huge smile. Aunt Alice was thrilled.</p><p>“Oh, me, too!” She almost leaped over to me, like a tiny dancer, and took my hands in hers. “I was inspired while I was out and I want your opinions. You need some autumn updates to your closet. Come, quickly.” She tugged me away to her work space, a desk with a larger computer set up than Aunt Rose’s. Uncle Jazz smiled and shook his head. I guess I’d save his day for tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three (Steadfast)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for showing support for my story! I hope this new chapter finds you well. Not much to say this time but "enjoy"!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Three (Steadfast)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“And this one highlights the red tones of your hair,” Aunt Alice said with glee as she whirled me around to face her huge set of floor length mirrors. I smiled at her enthusiasm. After spending almost an hour at her computer showing me sketches for pieces she had yet to make, Aunt Alice moved me to her room to have me try on ones she already had. I now had on a faux leather jacket with matching booties and army green skinny pants. She told me the theme for my fall line was “somewhere between punk and grunge”, as if I would know what that meant. At least it was flattering. I ran my fingers over the simple studding at the bottom of the jacket and met Aunt Alice’s eyes in the mirror.</p><p>“I love this, Aunt Alice. You’re a fashion genius.”</p><p>Her smile grew intensely. “I knew olive would be an amazing color on you.” She bowed dramatically. “And do please keep the compliments coming.”</p><p>“Your sense of style is unparalleled. You’re a wizard with a sewing needle. We would be lost without you!” I started getting more into it as I went, trying to hold back a fit of laughter.</p><p>Aunt Alice burst into giggles first. “Oh, wow! You are just too much, love!” She fanned her face with her hand and gracefully sat on a stool next to her vanity desk. She was glowing with pride and it tickled me to see it. I loved fluffing Aunt Alice’s ego, even if the others begged me not to. How could I not when it clearly made her so happy? She started folding the clothes she had and packing them into a box. “This is for you to take with you today. We’ll plan for the rest of the pieces soon. I’m so excited, ah!”</p><p>At this, I settled into a fluffy chair and sunk down as much as I could without being too obvious I was sinking a bit in my own despair. First Grandmother and now Aunt Alice… I was wishing on every star for privacy and space, but now I was up to my eyes in guilt at making plans I wasn’t going to keep with my family. I was going to disappoint them. Balling my hands into tight fists in my lap, I forced a smile back on my face. They would all understand. These people loved me, truly loved me, and would understand that I needed this when it happened. I had to trust in this.</p><p>Aunt Alice gently placed the last piece into the box and looked over at me, slowly freezing into place and studying my expression. “Hun, are you… alright?”</p><p>I almost stopped breathing and dropped my smile. Did I blow it? Oh, geeze. My words dried up in my mouth and I had no excuses to give her.</p><p>She walked over to me, far too slowly to be natural for her, and delicately placed a small, frozen hand on my shoulder. “You know how much it worries me when I see you like this,” she said in a whisper. “I can’t just dig around in the future for clues to what might be going on or how to fix it. It makes me feel a little helpless for you.”</p><p>I leaned into her touch and sighed. Because she couldn’t see the future for either me or the wolf pack, Aunt Alice firmly denied the future everyone else saw for me. She did not support it and could not see it, so to her, it simply would not happen. It wasn’t often in the forefront of her mind and we didn’t talk about it much. A lot of my sudden dives into sadness when I was around family was attributed to a common teenage malaise. Grandfather would often ask Uncle Jazz to help me over these “little road bumps” with his talent. Though I always knew I’d never just outgrow what I was feeling, I did have to admit Uncle Jazz’s magic mood swings helped.</p><p>“I’ll be okay, Aunt Alice. I’m just a bit tired. I still can’t believe how amazing all this is,” I said while gesturing to the box. “I had a lot of fun today.” Usually I zoned out when Aunt Alice wanted to play “doll” with me. She’s done it since I was born, dressed me up and took countless photos of me. She and Aunt Rose were the ones who made me a normal looking baby book, even though it took place over the course of days rather than months. But today, I made sure to pay attention the entire time and soak it in. The next time I got to dress up with her, I hoped it would be just as amazing as I remembered it.</p><p>“Oh, you must be, huh?” She spun gracefully around to face the window and tilted her head. Her black tufts of hair caught a pale line of moonlight. “I didn’t realize it was this late. Even after all this time, it’s still so hard to remember you need to sleep.”</p><p>My head whipped around to find a clock. It couldn’t really be that late, could it? I still hadn’t gotten enough time here. Today couldn’t really be over. I started to panic.</p><p>“Oh, my.” Aunt Alice brushed my hair back and saw the change in my eyes. “Are you really so exhausted? Maybe you should go to sleep immediately? I’m a bit worried.” Though I was a lot like a vampire in many ways, I was also a lot different. My health was always a concern for my family, despite being a lot more resilient than a human.</p><p>I opened my mouth to dismiss her worries, but a sudden thought occurred to me. “Actually, I am. So very exhausted. I’m not sure I’d even be able to make it back to the cottage.” Aunt Alice looked alarmed. I patted her arm and half faked a yawn. “I think it might be best if I stayed here for tonight. Would that be alright, Aunt Alice?” I looked up at her with my head downturned, giving her big, glassy puppy eyes.</p><p>She sprang up and began to usher me out her door. “Of course! We would love to have you here! Will you be staying in…?”</p><p>I nodded. The rare occasions I’ve had to stay over with my family, I’ve stayed in my father’s old room. When he moved into the cottage with Mom and me, no one ever bothered to change his room or move his things. How like a vampire, to remain unchanging even in their homes. Despite not needing to sleep, Dad had gotten a large, ornate bed put in his room so Mom could be comfortable here before her change. I was grateful for his spur-of-the-moment purchase in this regard.</p><p>Aunt Alice led me to Dad’s room and stopped at the door to drop me off. “I’m going to let Esme know you’ll be staying with us,” she explained. “She’ll call Edward and Bella for you, let them know you’ll be staying. Just shout if you need something.” She kissed the top of my head and started to bound off.</p><p>“Aunt Alice?”<br/>“Yes?”</p><p>“Could you maybe… ask Uncle Jazz to tuck me in?”</p><p>She smiled a small, knowing smile. “Of course. I’ll go get him.”</p><p>I almost felt the relief already. I walked into the room, full of books and CDs lining every wall but the glass one. I kicked my new boots off by the door and laid my jacket on an end table. I found a plain set of pajamas in a drawer, put here by Grandmother for me just in case. By the time I turned down the comforter and scooted into the cool sheets, Uncle Jazz was already beside me kneeling by the head of the bed.</p><p>“Heard you need a hand falling asleep,” he said quietly, a very faint southern drawl touching his words slightly. “I can feel that, too.” Uncle Jazz always felt when my emotions turned sour. That was his power, after all, to feel and manipulate emotions.</p><p>“Thank you for staying with me,” I smiled at him, turning my head on the pillow to see him better.</p><p>“No need to thank me, little lady,” he sighed, contented, as he began to shift the mood. I felt my tension and anxiety loosen and melt away. The guilt and fear I’d been holding dripped out of my every pore and was replaced by a warm wave of silky feelings wrapping around me. I was so relaxed, I almost fell asleep instantly. Before I closed my eyes, though, I looked over at Uncle Jazz’s peaceful face. His eyes were closed and he was sitting on the floor in an almost meditative pose. I let my eyelids slip then, knowing he would stay here until morning to make sure my dreams were calm.</p><p> </p><p>I woke peacefully the next morning, well rested and comfortable. The residual feeling of such overwhelming peace let me know I was right; Uncle Jazz did stay with me until the sun came up. As I was slowly pulling aside the blankets, I realized I was hungry, too. It hit me that I hadn’t eaten anything the day before besides breakfast. A human breakfast at that. It had been a few days since I last had blood and I needed to fix that. I was pretty sure I knew who would be up for taking me.</p><p>I found a new outfit in the box of new clothes Aunt Alice gave me. I picked out one of the more simple pieces - a soft flannel top and distressed jeans - to make it easy to move around on my hunt. I had to hand it to her, she made casual look nice. I packed the clothes I had worn into the box and made my way downstairs, laughing to myself at the graduation caps on the wall. That would be me soon, I guess. Collecting caps and gowns for who knows how many years. I heard Grandmother call my name from the kitchen and followed her gentle voice.</p><p>The kitchen, which before my birth had been completely unused for cooking, was now decked out in all the latest gadgets and tools. Grandmother had been so thrilled to learn I ate human food and jumped at the chance to learn to cook again. It made her feel more “normal”, more homey. For her sake, I never complained about eating. The happiness in her face as she served me was always overwhelming. It would be like kicking a puppy to deny her at this point. Grandmother was whisking something in a large bowl when I walked around the corner to find her. Her smile grew.</p><p>“Renesmee, darling, you get to help me try my new waffle iron!” she gushed. A new toy, it seemed. I’d have to hunt later, then.</p><p>“Wow, there’s a lot going on in here,” I commented while slowly spinning around. There was fresh fruit chopped on the counter and looking closer it seemed Grandmother was making her own whipped cream. “You’d think you were feeding the whole family.”</p><p>“I know,” she sounded embarrassed. “But I just get so excited to be doing this. It had been 85 years since I had made anything! I forgot how nice it was.” She held out her whisk to me, a fat dollop of whipped cream on the end. I licked a bit off to humor her. So sweet.</p><p>“Tastes fresh,” I told her, wracking my brain for a way to not outright lie to her. Tastes like a freshly whipped bowl of sugar. Wow.</p><p>“Thank you,” she replied, oblivious. She ushered me over to the dining table and pulled out a chair. I was pleasantly surprised to see Grandfather there. I eagerly took a seat close to him. To me, it was a rather funny image. Grandfather, frozen forever at the young age of 23, sat at the table with a newspaper and a steaming mug. It was so classically picturesque. All he was missing was glasses, a pipe, and 50 more years showing on his face.</p><p>“Good morning, Grandfather,” I beamed up at him. Catching him at home was hit or miss. The hospital kept him busy.</p><p>“Good morning to you, too, dear,” he said while reaching for his mug. I knew he wouldn’t take a sip of it. This was an idea from Grandmother to keep me from feeling awkward being the only one at the table with food. All that was in his mug was hot water. It kept an illusion of a family meal, to an extent, and made the others feel more included. Grandmother also told me it felt nice on their skin, to hold a warm cup in their icy hands. A bit of temporary heat. I found it really endearing after learning that. Grandfather reached to turn a page of his paper. “Sunny weather near the end of the week. We should probably go hunting,” he called to Grandmother. “Wonder what Alice would say about that.”</p><p>“I’d trust Aunt Alice over a paper any day.” We all laughed and Grandfather tried to suppress his amused chuckle.</p><p>“You always flatter her.”</p><p>“Am I wrong, though?” To this, Grandfather shook his head.</p><p>“Ready for a hot stack of waffles” Grandmother cut in. She slid a plate with three huge waffles covered in whipped cream in front of me. Sprinkled on top were berries and cocoa powder. It was a beautiful presentation. A said a prayer to the waffle gods to let me finish this with a straight face.</p><p>After managing to get half of the plate down and maintaining pleasantries and compliments to Grandmother’s creativity with food, I had to call it. I couldn’t fit any more in my stomach if I wanted to. I’d have to give myself a bit of rest before asking Uncle Emmett on our hunting trip now. I sighed. I helped Grandmother clean the kitchen and pack the rest of the waffles, of which she had made five more, into a plastic container for me to take back to the cottage later. I thanked her, if nothing else touched by her generosity, and set the container with the clothes box. I decided to sprawl myself out on the long couch in the living room and turned a movie on that I had seen countless times as background noise. I briefly considered making myself throw up to make room for the hunt, but the guilt of intentionally wasting Grandmother’s food would never let that happen.</p><p>I counted dots in the ceiling, anxious to both speed up and prolong my family time. Every moment that went by was a moment closer to leaving for New York. I was torn between looking up pictures of the area now and letting myself see it for the first time when I got there. Probably for the best to wait, in case the image slipped in my thoughts and Dad caught it. Still, though! New York, New York, <em> New York! </em>It was going to be my new home! I was terrified and thrilled and nauseous and giddy. To take a page out of my father’s book of melodrama, I felt like the comedy and tragedy masks used to represent the theatre.</p><p>Uncle Emmett finally showed up after I had plenty of time to fully marinate in my turbulent feelings. I was relieved to be able to shake them off now. I stood and grinned up at my giant of an uncle.</p><p>“Uncle Emmeeett,” I dragged out his name.</p><p>“Yeees?”</p><p>“Will you take me hunting? Please?”</p><p>His eyes lit up. “Don’t have to ask me twice, girlie!” I fist bumped him and bounced in place. Time to let go and let the inner predator take over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four (Reminders)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for not posting in a bit. I got really sick and couldn't do much of anything. Things are starting to pick up now so I hope you like this new chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Four (Reminders)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, this is all we’re probably going to get,” Uncle Emmett sighed, shaking his head and clapping me on the shoulder. We had run pretty far out from home, but stayed close enough that Uncle Emmett wouldn’t get an earful from Mom and Dad when they found out. As long as I got some blood, any at all, I’d be happy we came out. There were rolling hills with tall grass caught in the wind, making it look like a soft ocean of green waves. Pine trees stretched to the skies surrounding the meadow and their scent saturated the crisp, cool air. It was a wonderfully cool morning. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back, and stretched my arms out slightly at my sides. Autumn was coming fast. I could feel it in my soul. It was like I could just about grow wings right now and soar away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today, the only living things we’d come across was a herd of elk. Looks like we were having elk. I looked back at Uncle Emmett and gave him a small smile. I knew he would prefer something with a bit more bite to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay, I’m not picky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled a big, toothy grin. “As long as you get to have fun, kiddo. I’ll even let you have first pick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome,” I said under my breath, getting ready to lose myself in my senses. It was like suddenly feeling yourself getting picked up by a gentle current and letting it sweep you away. My body fell into place, crouching in a predator’s stance as I slipped into the tall grass in the hills below us. I could smell the herd, about half a mile out, and drifted towards them. I caught the scent of a particularly appealing elk, a strong male with impressive antlers, and focused on it. I closed my eyes and gave my mind over completely to my instincts, stalking up to him on smell and sound alone. My nerves tingled at every blade of grass that brushed against my face. I felt wild and free, completely uninhibited. I climbed up the side of a small hill on all fours and crouched low when I reached the top. He was here with me, the elk. I had the urge to scream with excitement and an animalistic screech as if I was a riled up wildcat while I pounced on the elk. He only had a moment to whip his head around and catch me in his sight before I grabbed him and sunk my razor sharp teeth into his hide. The blood hit me, hot and overwhelming, before I caught the poor thing’s panicked bellows. I chopped at his neck once, quickly killing him, before pushing his hulking body over and settling myself in to drain him. The sounds of his herd, bleating and tearing their hooves through the grass to escape, became quieter and quieter until all that was left was the sound of the grass squishing in the wind again. I was so connected to where I was in that moment. I was full and warm, an earthy taste lingering in my mouth. The grass suddenly smelled sweeter, the air more alive. I would always pity my family for not being able to taste an animal’s blood like I could. I guessed since I was a hybrid, it appealed to me a bit more than it could for them. I could only push myself so far, though. This one today was more than enough for me then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if sensing I was done with my moment of mindful peace, Uncle Emmett strided up where I laid on my back next to the elk. “Feeling any better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” I mumbled and turned my face up to a bright spot cast down from an opening in the clouds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked like it. In fact, you’re practically glowing,” he chuckled. I gave him a sarcastic look, fighting back my own laughter. While vampires’ skin glistened in the light like crystals, my skin gently held the light, like a backlit alabaster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re hilarious. Do you want the blood I couldn’t finish?” I gestured to the animal next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Nah, I’m good. Honestly, I just took you out to humor you. We don’t get to hunt often and I just wanted your company.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His honesty always took a minute to catch up to me. I was touched. Uncle Emmett never held anything back. “I wanted to spend time with you, too.” Wanting to get up now, I leaned over and took one last bite and drew a mouthful of blood. I savored it, swallowed it, and felt way too full. Maybe that was a bad idea. Uncle Emmett reached his hand out to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m your favorite uncle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Weeell…” I teasingly stretched the word out and tapped my finger to my chin like I had to put some thought into this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you!” he laughed and grabbed my head into one huge arm, lightly rubbing his knuckles into my hair. I pretended to struggle against him and my sides hurt from laughing so hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I give! I’m sorry! I admit you’re the best!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn straight.” He puffed out his chest after releasing me. “Now let’s get you home before someone hunts </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> for taking you out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We finally made it back to the house by late afternoon, despite me trying to linger to admire the colors of the changing leaves. I was pleasantly surprised when we walked through the door. Everyone was home at the same time. It was such a rare thing to catch them together anymore that I ran into the living room and spun around with glee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone is here!” I was excited. My last day here was going to end on a good note.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, almost everyone,” Grandfather said as he walked into the room with me. “Rosalie’s been gone for a few days now. Wonder when she’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I jerked my shoulders up and plastered a big smile on my face. “Who knows?” Wow, I was a terrible liar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Edward and Bella, too,” Grandmother added, walking up to Grandfather and kissing him on the cheek. I relaxed my shoulders when he nodded in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before I go home,” I started while giving everyone my best sad puppy eyes, “can we all play a game? Just something simple. Normal. Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grandmother looked delighted. “Oh, yes! Would everyone be up for it? I’ll go find the Uno cards. We’ll have a good time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone gave vague sounds of approval and Grandmother was off to fish out the cards. It was something she had gotten me as a random present once, a big box with common games and cards a kid my “age” would play. I still really liked them. It also gave the family a chance to be able to play all together fairly, since Aunt Alice couldn’t see visions of anyone’s cards or turns when I played with them. I made my way to the dining room and helped Uncle Jazz clear place mats off the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave me a knowing look. “Out playing with elk this morning?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blushed and instinctively brushed my hands down my shirt to wipe off the smell, even though I knew that wouldn’t help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It'll be fine,” he smirked. “If need be, I’ll just smooth things over a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Uncle Jazz. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” I gestured like I was elbowing him in the ribs and he lightly flicked my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grandmother was behind me then, laying the stack of cards down on the table over my shoulder. The others followed her in and took their seats, letting Grandmother deal the cards. Aunt Alice let out a big, dramatic sigh at not being able to see the outcome, but she had a smile on her face all the same. A started to lose count of how many rounds we had done after that. Everyone was laughing and cracking jokes. At some point, to make things more interesting, Uncle Emmett implemented a new rule that a dare had to be done if you had to draw cards or skip your turn. Uncle Emmett had done the last two rounds upside down when Aunt Alice dared him to play while standing on his head. Grandfather was balancing a vase on his head for the rest of the round and Grandmother was to finish out while only speaking Italian. They were lame dares, but somehow it was amazingly entertaining. Uncle Jazz had just laid down a skip card for me and I buzzed with excitement at getting to do something silly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who gets skipped now?” Uncle Emmett said, trying to look around while flipped upside down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uncle Jazz grinned, sliding his gaze over to me. “I believe it’s…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blanched, my heart dropping into my stomach. Jacob’s voice, loud and clear, rang out from the foyer by the front door. I could hear Mom and Dad shuffling after him. He found me in no time at all, bounding into the archway of the dining room and locking eyes with me. My hands felt numb and I dropped my cards. They fluttered across the table and floor. Uncle Emmett flopped himself over and sat upright, staring. Actually, everyone was staring. Jacob didn’t come to the main house that often and we were definitely not expecting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He broke the silence and moved closer to me, holding his hands out to me expectantly. “Nessie, it’s good to see your face again. I was getting a little stir crazy and just had to see you.” I didn’t move and he kept going. “You’ve been gone for way too long. It’s not really good for us to be apart like that. Could you feel the pull, too? It was awful.” He laughed then, a strained laugh through a forced smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was frozen. My mind could not catch up with what was happening and I just sat there, not even blinking, with my hands still held up as if I was still holding my hand of cards. Mom walked in finally and rubbed her hand across my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ness, how have you been?” Still I said nothing, but slowly turned my face up to look at her. “Poor Jake has been losing his mind about you. We decided to just go ahead and visit.” Her face was so calm. I felt panicked seeing that in contrast to how I was feeling. Before my first breath hitched, I could feel Uncle Jazz subtly directing me away from a full on panic attack. I breathed out slowly, grateful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have come back soon. Today. I was just playing with everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacob sat down in the chair next to me and leaned in. His smile wavered a bit as he caught the scent of something. “Nessie… is that deer? Elk? Is that its blood?” He leaned closer and inhaled deeply. I cringed back slightly. “Have you been drinking blood?” He sounded upset and his eyes bored into mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a problem?” I managed to say. He was trying to keep up a happy look, but he was clearly struggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie.” A deep breath and a pause. “It’s important for you to eat as much human food as you can. It’s important for school, remember? You’ll be starting soon. Maybe even next year. Don’t you want to blend in when you eat with me? We’ll both be eating food then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hint of understanding hit me. “Wait. You’ve been wanting me to drink less blood to fit in… </span>
  <em>
    <span>with you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” A flash of surprise crossed his face and I became angrier. “That’s what this has been about all along! To make me more like you, to fit with you! Do you want me to stop drinking blood because you hate vampires?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My family shuffled in their seats, uncomfortable. Jacob had the decency to try to deny what I said, but I cut him off. I was building up an unusual amount of anger and even Uncle Jazz’s attempts to calm me down weren’t helping. I was too worked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare you? This is who I am. This is what I am! I’m sorry I wasn’t born your perfect dream girl, some doe-eyed human ready to drop everything for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fate</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I spat out the last word like venom and slammed my hands on the table standing up. Everyone was frozen in place, especially Jacob. His eyes were wide and panicked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> my perfect dream girl,” he started slowly, reaching out to take my hand in his. I yanked it away before he could touch me.</span>
</p><p><span>My family exchanged worried glances. I’m sure they had no idea what to do at this point. While most of them knew I didn’t want a relationship with Jacob, they had no say in the matter. They couldn’t speak over my parents and how they decided to raise me. There had been times when they had made casual remarks to Mom and Dad, only to be completely shut down. They, especially my mother, knew about how imprints worked more than my family ever would and therefore their opinions held no weight for it. Aunt Alice had given up talking to them about it entirely because of how mad it made her. She found the whole thing to be ridiculous anyway and was sure</span><span> I </span><span>wasn’t going to end up with Jacob at all. Even Uncle Jazz and Grandmother tried to speak up for my feelings, at least the little they knew about it, and were turned down. </span><em><span>It’s inevitable, </span></em><span>my</span> <span>mother would tell them. </span><em><span>One day it will click for her and everything will come together.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>Mom gave me a concerned look at my outburst. “Renesmee, please.” She used my full name in moments when she was trying to be more serious. “Jake missed you. Very much. You worried him being away so long. Please try to be understanding. The imprint is a lot harder on him right now than it is you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That last statement felt like a slap across my face. This was harder for him? Was I not in pain because of this? I had had enough. I wasn’t going to stand there and be crushed under the weight of this anymore. I jerked myself away from the table and stormed off, grabbing my box of clothes and heading outside. I took one second to stand still when the fresh air hit me and was startled as a large hand grabbed my arm from behind. Jacob had ran after me, the door slamming shut behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let go of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie, please!” His tone had gone a bit frantic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going home, Jacob. Let go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll go with you! We’ll go together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. There’s no ‘we’. There’s no ‘together’. Let. Me. Go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nessie, please! Please, please, please don’t do this to me!” Jacob grabbed my shoulders with both his hands, his fingers digging in a bit. His eyes were wild now. “I know you don’t understand now, I’ve known this for a while. And it kills me you don’t! But I can wait. I will wait for you to have your moment of realization about what this imprint means for us. I have to be with you, Nessie. You are my entire world. There is no one else for me but you. That’s how this works. The imprint is there because we are perfect together. We belong together. I will protect you and keep you happy.” Tears were close to falling down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t keep me something that I already am not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not happy.” I strained against his grip and pulled free, taking a step back. “Don’t follow me home. I need some time alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped to his knees. “Please… please don’t say these things. I will make you happy. You make me happy, Nessie!” Despite his words, he openly cried now. “We're soulmates. If you’re not by my side, Nessie, I don’t know what I might do to myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop! Stop it! I can’t deal with this right now! Do not follow me home, Jacob, or I don’t know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> might do!” I had no idea what was supposed to be behind my hollow threat, but it terrified Jacob all the same. “I need some time to think. Alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuddered but tried to work the situation in his mind to something more favorable. “Please think about us, Nessie. Try to understand how good this is for us. For you. Our imprint is a gift.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded sharply once and turned to walk away. He seemed satisfied with my response, at least temporarily. Oh, I’d think about “us” alright. And about how far away I could get myself from that word. Jacob had ruined my last memory with my family before I left and now I just felt bitter and cold. I briskly walked back to the cottage, fueled by my anger. The entire way back, I felt Jacob’s eyes glued to me. Always watching.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five (Exodus)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Things are starting to pick up now. I think I should give a bit of an explanation for Edward and Bella real quick. Here's a reply I made to a comment were I addressed it:</p><p>I was a bit worried about making Edward and Bella part of the "bad guys" for this, but I figured if anyone would support this [the imprint] it would be them. It's touched on in the book they came to accept it and I was disappointed. Especially after Bella finally stood up for herself to Jacob and then... SMeyer just "nevermind"ed it.</p><p>I hope I'm able to make it come across that they aren't in a mindset of maliciousness, just ignorance. Everyone will get their redemption arc, though! I've just been worried after posting the last chapter about offending people.</p><p>Like I said at the beginning, this is the first time I've posted any of my written work like this for like 15 years so I'm still very nervous about the whole thing. Thank you so much for sticking with this and giving this fic almost 40 kudos now. Wow! And all the comments have been so nice. You guys are awesome.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Five (Exodus)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I ran through the door and made a beeline for my room. There was a duffel bag and a backpack I kept stored in my closet in case we ever decided to go on a trip. We never ended up going anywhere, but I kept the bags anyway. I pulled them out and yanked open the zippers, stuffing them with whatever I could get my hands on first. I filled the duffel bag with clothes I particularly liked and would miss, including the clothes Aunt Alice had given me yesterday. I put books I hadn’t read yet in the backpack and little things from my room: an MP3 player my father gave me, a seashell Uncle Jazz had gotten me on a trip once, a tiny bottle of perfume Grandmother had given me as a gift for my birthday one year. I picked up a framed photo I kept on a bookshelf and ran my fingers along the gilded edges. It was a picture of my entire family together, including my parents, with me in the middle. I looked around five years old here. Grandmother had suggested we take a family photo as a keepsake. Aunt Alice loved the idea and dressed us for the occasion. Our outfits were all similar, but slightly different enough to look individual. We had taken it on a tripod out by a waterfall and we all looked so happy. So together. My heart ached at what could have been if things had been a little different. I wrapped the frame in a scarf and packed it in my bag, knowing it would kill me to leave it behind.</p><p>The last thing I made sure to pack was the locket my mother gave me the year I was born. I used to wear it every day, but lately felt more nervous doing that. A part of me was worried it would be ruined or broken if I wore it out too much. Once, I wore it hunting and it snagged on a branch. I watched, almost as if in slow motion, that small drop of gold shimmering down and plunging into an arm-deep puddle. I was lucky the picture inside, a photo of my parents looking happily in each other’s eyes, wasn’t ruined. I wanted to keep that memory of me and Mom sacred and protected. Trying to keep tears from my eyes, I ran my thumb across the inscription of the locket. <em> Plus que ma propre vie. </em>More than my own life. That’s how much my mother said I meant to her. A bittersweet memory. I placed it down with the wrapped frame and zipped the bag closed.</p><p>At the same time, I heard the front door click and my head snapped toward the sound. Dad walked back to my room and I met him at the door before he could come in further and see my packed bags. This was the big test. I could not afford to think of leaving.</p><p>“Renesemee,” he started gently, concern in his eyes. “Why did you run off like that? Jacob is in shock. Bella is back consoling him.”</p><p>I fought to not roll my eyes. “I was upset. I needed to walk away.”</p><p>“I understand this is all confusing to you right now, but it will make sense later.” I opened my mouth to deny his words, but he took my hand instead. “Come. Let’s just play for a little bit.”</p><p>He led me to the piano in the main room of the cottage, a much smaller version than the one in the main house. We both sat at the little bench and he started a slow melody on the keyboard. I followed his lead, adding a quiet harmony until the wordlessness made me too restless. I tried a last, simple plea to call out to my father and placed a hand over his. He slowed to a stop and I flashed images into his mind. I showed him my fear, scenes of catching my reflection in a mirror with tears streaming down my cheeks and images of Jacob seen through my eyes while shaking my head. Dad turned to look at my face, torn. There was a heavy silence as I withdrew my hand.</p><p>“It pains me that this has been so hard on you.” I began to feel a prick of hope, but he continued. “This imprint… I’ll admit I was not in favor of the situation when it first happened. But I’ve been educated about it. Your mother and I have gathered all the information we could from Jacob’s family and this is ultimately a good thing. You’re young now, both in body and in mind. We’re hopeful that when you reach full maturity, which is very soon now, that you’ll begin to understand all of this as well. It’s natural for a child to not comprehend a committed relationship like this. I truly believe you will soon, though. Just give it time.”</p><p>My heart dropped like rock and my hand dropped as well, slamming on three keys and causing a dissonant clang that made me wince. There was nothing I could do to get him to believe me at this point. My only hope for my mental health was to leave. I pushed it out of my mind and stood, trying to steady my breathing.</p><p>“I need to lie down now.”</p><p>“But it’s only evening. Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m mentally worn out. I just need some rest.”</p><p>“Alright.” He stood with me and patted my head. “Sleep tight. Your mother and I will be out for a bit tonight to hunt.” He gave me a quick hug and a peck on top of my head.</p><p>I headed back into my room and shut the door behind me. I had to keep my mind off of what just happened and what I was about to do as long as Dad was in the house. I picked up a book and began to read, trying to mentally yell all the words as I read them. After a couple of chapters in, I heard Mom walk through the door while calling for Dad. She was talking to him about how upset Jacob had been and that she had to all but pick him off the ground herself. Apparently, she convinced him I just needed to cool off and would come around later. He had shifted and gone on a run to wait it out until morning. Maybe he would run to Canada and back. I looked out my window and saw the moon shining in the sky. It was already nighttime. I was sure Aunt Rose would be back in the morning and I would be free then. Free…</p><p>I heard Mom and Dad slip out of the cottage, on their way to hunt. Once the house was still and silent, I felt the panic start to creep in. I was too restless to begin my journey to sit still, so I started to plan instead. I locked my bedroom door and turned the lights off to make it seem like I was asleep when my parents got back home. I sprayed some lavender scent near the bottom of the door, something I used on occasion to help myself fall asleep. When I was happy with my finishing touches, I opened up my window and lowered my bags to the ground. I went after them, closing the window and loading up my stuff for the hike to the main house. I couldn't actually go to the house itself; I would be found out before I even got inside. Instead, I crept through the trees and sat on the side of the road where the turnoff to the house started. When Aunt Rose came back, she would see me before even getting to the long back road to the house.</p><p>I plopped down with a thud and took a deep breath. The night was quiet with crickets faintly in the distance. I ran my hands over the grass at my sides and lifted my head to the sky. My mind was completely blank. I had a sudden thought that this was reality and truly happening now. The thoughts poured out like a waterfall so quickly the stars began to blur to nothing. I was shaking at this point with a mix of roiling emotions and I pulled at my long curls.</p><p>By the time Aunt Rose’s shiny, red car pulled close, I was a sobbing mess curled in on myself in the dirt by the road. She slammed on her brakes and was out of the car in an instant. A faraway part of me realized she was really here, but I couldn’t stop crying. She ran to me, wrapping herself around me defensively and whipped her head around trying to find the source of my pain. When she didn’t find anything in her quick scan of the area, she pulled back and took my face in her hands.</p><p>“What happened?” Her eyes were burning with concern and she pressed her crimson painted lips together in a tight line.</p><p>“I yelled at him. I had to get away. I have to leave as soon as possible.” I nudged my bags.</p><p>“You yelled at him?” A bit of humor touched her voice. I guess it would be funny. I never raise my voice.</p><p>“It just happened. I didn’t even decide to do it. I feel like a stranger in my own skin, Aunt Rose. Please help me.” I laid my head on her shoulder and breathed in her sweet scent.</p><p>“It’s time then.” That was all she said. She stood and lifted my bags effortlessly, tossing them in the back seat of the car. She took my hand in hers, her nails painted to match her lips, and led me to the passenger seat. I fastened the buckle with shaking hands and stared straight ahead. It’s time. <em> It’s time. </em></p><p>Aunt Rose spent the ride to the airport explaining to me her plan. I was given the papers I would need and told step by step what I would need to do to get to my new home. I squeezed the hard plastic of the debit card I was given to use when I got to New York. I would fly there with the story that I was heading to see my grandparents if anyone even asked me. I had the key to the house with me. I was promised I would be greeted to a fully furnished home and the utilities would be on when I got there. It was all so amazing. If I had known it was this easy to start a new life, I might have done it a long time ago.</p><p>Might have. It was still hard to leave my family behind like this, with no notice or goodbyes. Despite them trying to push me to accept Jacob, I would miss my parents terribly. I almost couldn’t totally fault them. They both truly believed he was the best thing for me. I would also miss Aunt Alice, who never missed an opportunity to make me feel like a princess. She had designed most of my wardrobe and was quick to shower me in compliments. Uncle Jazz was quiet, but I knew from subtle looks and kind gestures he cared very much for me. Grandfather and Grandmother would also be hard to be away from. I loved spending time with them, helping around the house. Even harder still would be not seeing Grandpa, Mom’s father. He was human and therefore had a short time in the world compared to me and my family. Missing time with him would be hard, knowing I wouldn’t be able to make it up later.</p><p>For as much as I was suffocating with the attention and constant closeness of my family, it would still be difficult not to miss them. They were all I knew, after all. My whole world up until this point. It was bizarre to think about how badly I was wishing for privacy when I had such an amazing time with them these past few days.</p><p>I would still, however, be connected to Aunt Rose. I was given a phone and a number to text should I need her. I assumed the number she gave me for herself was another one of her hidden things. I was also given an email address to use for school. Everything I could have thought of was taken care of for me.</p><p>In what felt like no time at all, we were at the airport. Aunt Rose anticipated I would want to leave as soon as possible and got me a ticket for the break of dawn. I’d have to sit in the airport for a bit, but I didn’t mind. I wasn’t expecting to really remember the trip to New York anyway. I got checked in and found a seat. Luckily I packed light and my bags would be considered carry ons. Aunt Rose stayed with me until I boarded, claiming it would look more natural that way. I had an inkling she might have wanted a bit more time with me. I know I wanted more time with her. When it was finally time to leave, she hugged me and whispered that she loved me in my ear, almost too quietly to be heard. I knew in my heart I heard it. I took everything about her in this moment. Her golden hair was pinned up in an intentionally messy bun and eyes were the color of dark honey. I burned this image into my mind and with my head held high I boarded my plane. No one ended up questioning why I was there, other than a flight attendant making small talk. With the support and love of my Aunt Rose, I leaned back in my chair, watching the clouds fly by as I headed to the beginning of <em> my </em>fantasy story.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six (Angel)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now we're finally at the part where our main character gets to live out her own story. Yay! I hope you like the new setting and cast of characters she'll be involved with. Also, to be clear, I just made up the town. I had enough trouble researching schooling, weather, and driving laws in New York state in general that I didn't want to lose my mind over going further and pretending I know what I'm talking about with a real town people actually live in. Thank you again for all the support you guys have shown me.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Six (Angel)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was late afternoon when I finally made it to New York. I had to take a taxi from the airport to the actual town I would be living in. It was a small, posh town by the name of Honeycomb. It was technically a suburb, but the houses were secluded enough from each other that everyone kept their privacy for the most part. Naturally you could see the fronts of the homes peeking out from lush trees and long driveways. Aunt Rose had told me it was mostly a place that families with money to burn lived. Doctors, lawyers, scholars. I was used to being around excess wealth since birth; my family had an untold amount of money, but I knew the amount had to be ridiculous. Somehow, though, I still felt nervous approaching my new house. Almost as if I was an outsider creeping in on some other person’s life. The taxi stopped and I snapped to attention, thanking the driver and shuffling out to get a good look at the house for the first time. I tried to remember what Aunt Rose had said to me… <em> Cozy little place. </em> Was this really what she considered <em> cozy? </em></p><p>The house was enormous. The front yard was filled with trimmed bushes and surrounded by a cobblestone fence topped in ironwork with a matching iron gate. Walking closer, I found a tiny keypad by the latch and punched in the code I was given. I heard a soft pop and swung open the gate. No foreboding creaking. A good sign, I supposed. There was a narrow stone path that led straight to the big, pale blue building in front of me. There was a wrap around porch with flowers boxes filled with little blue flowers complementing the house. I wondered if Aunt Rose had always had them kept up with or if she had them put here just for me. I didn’t think I wanted to know. After another keypad, I stepped into my new home.</p><p>The inside smelled like clean linen. I dropped my bags at my feet and took everything in. Most of what I saw was pale wood. This floor of the house was very open, just like Grandmother’s house. The furniture looked pristine and classically old-timey. I noticed that nothing was just solid white here. There were blankets and pillows artfully strewn about of all different colors. I walked over to a couch with a blanket laid over the top. It had little trees of varying shades of green all over it. I picked it up and draped it over my shoulders. This was my blanket. My couch. My home. Everything here was mine. There were no expectations here and no one to impress. No one to see me or hear me. I picked up a pillow and dropped it on the floor. Then another. A sick thrill shot through me. I could just leave these here for months if I wanted to. I dropped the blanket on the floor as well and then mussed my hair with my fingers until it fluffed out wildly. An impulse came over me and acted on it without thinking; I just opened my mouth and let out a scream. No one could hear me! No one would be shocked by me acting out or being loud! It was amazing. I ran like a streak of lighting across the house, taking in what rooms were what in a flash before winding back to the living room and not stopping at the wall. I ran up the side and backflipped over a coffee table. I was totally free.</p><p>On an adrenaline high, I made my way back to a bathroom I found and rifled through the drawers until I found a pair of scissors. Without thinking about who would care, I sliced my hair across my shoulders. I held the mass of shorn hair in my fist and met my eyes in the mirror. I looked like a mad woman, just grinning ear to ear with all that hair in my hands. That had been something my family made a big deal over. My hair had been waist length and I was told many times how important it was to keep it intact because I would be frozen in time once I reached maturity. I tossed my hair in the trash and shook my head. A figurative weight off my shoulders and a literal weight off my head.</p><p>Now that my nerves were starting to mellow out, I went back and grabbed my bags. I found what I assumed was meant to be my bedroom. Everything was themed around dusty lavender colors. There was a bookshelf in the room, empty and waiting to be filled. I fished out my family photo and placed it on the shelf. I sighed and kept moving. There was a dresser for my clothes, which took only a minute to unpack. I pulled out my Tupperware box that had my leftover waffles in it. It was weird to think Grandmother had made these just yesterday. I pulled one out and took a bite. Still just as sweet. I ended up finishing the entire thing without thinking. I didn’t even realize I had been hungry.</p><p>Since I didn’t have much I took with me, it took no time to unpack everything I had. The closet in my room already had some basic pieces in my size. Aunt Rose must have done more for me than I’d thought. With her in my mind, I opened the box of ID paper and cards she had gotten me. I made a point not to look at them on the trip here so it would all be new when I got here. I shuffled around and found what would be my bank card. I held it up and took in the name embossed on the front. Renna Lily Golden. That was me now. That was my name. Renna. Lily. Golden. Each syllable sent tingles sparking from my chest. Aunt Rose sure knew how to pick ‘em.</p><p>My other papers had records for my school enrollment and a calendar book to keep track of my personal schedule. Aunt Rose had already written times where she hired a gardener to keep up the lawnwork. She had considered a maid, but decided against it for fear it would make me uncomfortable. I thanked her profusely in my mind. Today was Friday. School would start next week, on Tuesday. It looked like Monday was Labor Day, so I would have a bit more time to settle in before starting. It all worked out incredibly well. Honeycomb Preparatory Academy - an intimidatingly severe name - was the school I would be attending. It was a private school, but I was assured I wouldn’t need to wear a uniform. The thought had not even crossed my mind when Aunt Rose described it to me. I guess, based on how she played that up as something positive, that I was lucky. My birth certificate placed me at 14 years old and set to turn 15 in two weeks. Like my family’s usual routine, my age was set to be the youngest I could get away with for the time being. I was supposed to be close to looking 18. It would probably be fine. I still looked a bit baby faced.</p><p>I put the papers back in the box and set it on a shelf in my room. I had only been here for a few hours and I felt like I needed to make myself busy to keep my mind from getting too worked up about my new school. I decided to take a walk around the house to see what kind of yard I had. Maybe there would be a gazebo or something to read in. Pulling back on my boots, I slipped out the front door and made my way around to the back. There wasn’t a gazebo, but I found out the porch wrapped around the entire house. The flower boxes were also around the back as well and I could tell from being so close now they smelled sweet. The backyard was basically a rounded clearing in a ring of trees lining a forest behind the house. Nothing but a small shed and a bench swing was back here. Feeling curious, I started walking into the trees beyond the yard clearing. I wondered how far it went back. There were a couple trees that were already turning crisp yellows and I smiled. The further in I went, the more I could smell something hanging in the air. It must have been some kind of berry. Following the scent to see if I was right, I came upon another small clearing in the trees and a row of bushes with fat little berries hanging on the branches. I smiled that I had been correct and took a step out into the clearing to get a closer look when my eyes connected with another’s and I froze.</p><p>It was as if the breath was completely knocked out of me. A strange wave of emotions crashed into me. Shock, fear, worry… I had never been near a human before that wasn’t Grandpa Charlie. After a split second I tried to correct my thoughts. I didn’t need to be afraid here. I was, for all intents and purposes, a “human” now, too. Her eyes were wide and glassy. She was obviously surprised as well. Even from so far away, I could see what an odd green they were. A bottomless foamy ocean. Beautiful. I blinked and the rest of her face came into focus. Sun kissed skin framed by caramel waves. Long, trembling eyelashes. Round lips opened just slightly, as if she didn’t know whether or not to scream. I was in awe. I had seen paintings of angels before in Grandfather’s office and Grandmother’s study. The rosy cheeked creature in front of me made those works of art look dull in my mind now. I had never been so at a loss of myself before. Nothing would come to me. No words, no course of action. Suddenly, she took a step back and my heart skipped a beat. The light pouring down from between the leaves above us caught in her hair and made her skin almost glow. I wondered then if she was like me, a hybrid whose skin glowed from within in the light rather than glistened like a true vampire. Everything about her was ethereal. Even her dress seemed to float around her, thin and gauzy. Was she human? Who was she?</p><p>She took another step back and then another. Soon, she had backed out of the clearing and disappeared in the trees behind her. I gasped and realized I had been holding my breath the entire time. I stumbled forward and almost ran to the spot she was standing in just moments ago. The scent in the air was undeniably human, just like Grandpa. Maybe angels smelled the same. At my feet was a basket, tipped over with berries spilling out on the grass. No wonder I caught their aroma from so far back in the trees. She had been picking them. I felt a twinge of guilt for causing her to drop them. I bent over and picked up every berry I found with lightning speed. Not knowing what to do with the basket, I hung it up on a low, short branch. Before going back home, I plucked a berry from one of the bushes and popped it in my mouth. It burst over my tongue and was tart, but very sweet at the same time. A blueberry. I wandered back to my house in a daze with that taste filling my senses.</p><p> </p><p>The weekend went by in a blur. My mind was so hazy, I couldn’t remember most of what I’d done. The day after, I went back to the clearing. She wasn’t there, but the basket had disappeared. At that point, my memories were fuzzier. I tried to go in the kitchen and get an idea of what food I had in the fridge and pantry, but retained none of what I saw and had to open the doors back up several more times. I ate an entire bag of chips for dinner one night and then sat in the bathtub for almost three hours after with classical music playing from a CD player sitting on the sink. It was the most bizarre thing I’d ever had happen to me in my short life. I could not, no matter what I tried, get the angel from the forest out of my mind. If I closed my eyes, she would drift down towards me with cottony wings behind her. I chalked it up to never having interacted with humans before. My mind was running wild because of it. I hoped it wouldn’t be this overwhelming at school. I probably just needed exposure therapy to people.</p><p>It was Monday night, the night before my first day. I had everything planned out ahead of time so I wouldn’t have to think too much in the morning. I was grateful now I had done that, considering how out of it I’d been. My outfit was laid on a chair in my room. It was the same one I’d tried on for Aunt Alice before going to bed that day, except the jacket. It would be warm tomorrow and weird for me to wear one. Still, I had the slim, olive colored pants and a soft, gray, three-quarter sleeve top. I planned to wear a gray pair of Converse with it to keep it casual. I wanted to blend in, at least at first. After sleeping on it for three nights, my hair had finally settled down to something more tame looking. It curled above my shoulders and had a nice swing to it. I had no regrets about cutting it off. I tried to be excited about the new me while I snuggled down in bed, but I ended up dreaming about angels regardless.</p><p>As if no time had passed, I shot my hand out of my blanket and slapped the off button on my alarm. I was buzzing with nervous energy. Light filtered into my room from the window. I got up and stretched to try and work out my nerves. Changing took almost no time at all. I went to the bathroom and smoothed out my hair. I was happy with how I looked. I went back to my room to grab the messenger bag Aunt Rose had left for me by my dresser for school. It was filled with notebooks, pencils, and even a thin laptop. It made me wonder if she had come out to the house herself while she was gone. I hung the bag on my shoulder and started out of the room, but stopped short. My eye caught the locket on my bookshelf and I reached for it. Maybe I should wear it for good luck? After a beat of hesitation, I pulled it over my head and felt just a tiny bit of relief at the small weight on my chest.</p><p>I walked out the front door, locking it behind me, and began my walk to school. My house was thankfully close enough to walk and it not be awkward. In fact, I thought I saw a few teenagers walking in the direction of the school, too. I sucked in a huge breath and straightened my back. I was starting to get antsy again. Rounding a corner of big, fluffy hedges, I saw the front of the school. It was built tall with faded red brick and a large, ornate clock rested above the front doors. All freshmen were to attend a welcoming ceremony first thing in the auditorium and signs were taped up every couple of feet to point to that location. Glass cases in the halls held gold trophies and blue ribbons of all shapes and sizes. There were already lots of other people here, also of all shapes and sizes. It was surreal. All the people I was used to were my cookie cutter perfect family. I had watched TV and movies before, but seeing humans up close like this was beyond my imagination. I felt like an alien invading the lives of a totally different species. I guess in some ways, I actually was.</p><p>The ceremony was nice. The principal gave a speech about how much we will love this school in the coming years and grow to be a family with our classmates. I didn’t know how excited I was for even more family members, but I kept an open mind. Looking around the crowded seats, I tried to get an idea of how many students would be in my graduating class. The school was small. My class appeared to have around 150 or so students. Then we were told to line up for booths by last name - looked like I was getting the F-J booth - in order to pick up our schedules and take pictures for our student IDs. Apparently, this semester would be picked for us and consist of basic classes. We could, however, pick one extracurricular class. Wanting the full experience, I selected choir. I already loved music, so I hoped this would be interesting. I flipped through my schedule and memorized the times and rooms. Literature, history, math… I should do fine for the time being. Anything I wasn’t already tutored in by my family I could memorize instantly. The perks of having perfect recall. My ID card was printed at the booth and I smiled again at seeing my new name. The ceremony took the place of homeroom for today, so we were excused to go right to first period. Every class today was the same routine. A small introduction of the teacher, handing out the syllabus, getting set up for the online message board for that class. For how the school looked on the outside, it was surprisingly modern.</p><p>Halfway through the day, the freshmen and sophomores were released for lunch. While in line to get food, it dawned on me I would need to find a place to sit. There were large, round tables scattered around the room that looked as if they might seat around 10 people each. I filled my tray with today’s special, a rectangle of pizza and mixed fruit. The trays around me were a bit more full, so I added some yogurt to even it out. I swiped my ID card to pay for my lunch and moved on into the sea of people taking seats around me. Would I just have to pick a table and go for it? Did I need to be invited? I took a few steps further in and scanned around for any spot that looked promising. My heart suddenly leapt in my throat before my mind could catch up with what I was seeing. I blinked, thinking it was another daydream, but she was still there. Here. Real. Her head was tipped back in laughter and the air around me sparked with energy. The angel from the woods went to my school.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven (Foundation)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So we've learned a bit more about the "angel"! The rest of the school day is coming up now. I'm so happy there are people excited about this story. I feel like I sound like a broken record responding to comments, but I really do start grinning ear to ear when I read such nice things. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and kindness. Also, thank you to anyone just silently reading along and still enjoying what I've made.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Seven (Foundation)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, new girl!”</p><p>My trance was broken and I turned my head to meet eyes with a lanky boy sitting close to where I was standing.</p><p>“Yeah, thought you were new. Need a place to sit?” He smiled and I awkwardly took a seat next to him at his table. He had his hair cropped short to his scalp, but it was still easy to tell it was red. Freckles covered most of his face and a pair of smart looking glasses sat in front of mossy eyes. His smile was bright.</p><p>“Thank you,” I muttered, trying but failing to find the girl in the crowd again. The angel.</p><p>“No big deal. I’m Josh, by the way. This is Kevin, Zach, and Gabbie.” He gestured his arm in a big sweep across the table to a pale boy in all black and mess of dyed hair, a guy with an impressive build for a highschooler and a rich mahogany complexion, and a girl that looked very similar to Josh. They all waved and said quick hellos. “We all moved up from the middle school here. You stuck out a bit. Did you move here recently?”</p><p>It was my time to shine with my new background, courtesy of Aunt Rose. “Yes, I did. My mother moved here for work very recently. I’m from the west coast. It’s nice to meet you. My name is…” I paused, seeing the looks on the others’ faces. I was being way too formal. I had to remind myself I didn’t need to act a certain way anymore. In fact, it would be better for my cover to loosen up. I took a quick breath and relaxed my shoulders. “I mean, I’m Renna. Hey.” <em> I’m Renna. </em></p><p>Zach gave me an assuring smile. “Hey, we get that you’re nervous. It’s cool. Must be hard not knowing anyone in a new place like this.”</p><p>“A bit. But I’m staying positive.” Wow, humans seemed a lot easier to get along with than I imagined. Not a single shockwave of emotion from any of these people. My face dropped slightly as I thought about that. Why, then, did that happen with <em> her? </em></p><p>“Something wrong?” Kevin asked. He lisped slightly over his lip ring.</p><p>“Well…” I didn’t know how honest I wanted to be with people who were essentially strangers yet, but I was so curious. I turned in my seat to look back at where she had been and was thrilled to see her standing again and in sight. “Who is she?”</p><p>The whole table turned their gazes to face where I was looking. Gabbie spoke up this time. “You mean Jo?” A firework sizzled out under my skin. I had a name to the face now. Jo. Wow. Gabbie continued. “Yeah, she’s okay, I guess. We don’t talk to her a whole lot. She kind of keeps to herself.”</p><p>I was floored. She was “okay”? Was Gabbie biased or simply blind? This girl was so brilliant that she made even the colors around her more vibrant. I had to know more.</p><p>“Why don’t you talk to her?”</p><p>“Like I said, she keeps to herself. It’s not like she’s not nice, but she always lost in her doodle book and it’s hard to keep her attention. A lot of the time she’s off talking to her brother. He’s the school counselor here.” I noticed for the first time the person she was laughing with was a young man in a tie. He did look somewhat like her. I wondered if his eyes were as enchanting as hers. It was that moment she slid her gaze over to me and we locked eyes. Just like in the forest, I froze and my heart skipped a beat. Her face first held confusion, then recognition. She hid her face quickly and turned around in her chair.</p><p>“Wow,” Kevin said, stunned. “What did you do to her?”</p><p>“I’ve never even met her!” I rushed out too fast and felt heat rising to my face. Josh laughed at my side.</p><p>“He’s joking,” Josh assured me. “She was probably just embarrassed that our entire table was staring at her.” He gave the rest of the group an exasperated look. The others nodded and laughed, starting in on their food. I picked up my pizza but paused when I saw Kevin reaching in the middle of the table where a small tray of condiments sat. The bottle of Tabasco caught my eye and made me think of my father. The last time he cooked for me he used that. I touched my locket with my free hand. It had been several days since I left Forks. I wondered how my family was reacting. Were they angry? Disappointed? I tried to shake the negative feelings creeping up on me and told myself that one day I would be able to explain my choices to them. If they loved me, they would understand. I grabbed the bottle without thinking and shook some on to my pizza. The first bite kicked the spice up in my mouth and I discreetly swiped at a tear in the corner of my eye.</p><p>The rest of lunch went by quietly. Kevin and Zach went back and forth about a video game and Gabbie started texting. Josh made small talk with me, but it was hard to concentrate. The second round of classes went by like the first, with introductions and syllabus handouts. The bell rang for the last period to start. This was my optional class, choir. I was pretty excited for this one since this was the class I picked for myself. After a stop at my locker, I made my way to the music room with my chin up. The room was a small, square space with acoustic foam decorating the walls. Band equipment was stacked neatly in the back. Folding chairs with music stands in front of them made a half moon around a white board. I was one of the first people in the class so I found a chair near the front to wait. This particular class was a mix of all the grades and I heard a few people who had joined choir the year before trying to guess what songs we would do for homecoming this year. I was surprised we would get to perform so early. It was my understanding based on the school calendar that was only a month away. I reached up to twist a lock of my hair, daydreaming about what it would be like, when more people started shuffling in. Slowly the seats were filled. The more people that came in, the more excited I got to find out what it would sound like when we all sang together. It looked like there might be around 30 people here. I turned to face the group talking on the other side of the room, who had pretty much agreed the arrangement would be completely new, when the last person entered followed by the instructor. I heard footsteps by me and someone sitting in the chair right next to me. Not wanting to be rude, I turned around to face them and introduce myself and was once again locked in the mesmerizing gaze of the angel. Jo.</p><p>This close to her face, I could see her irises were lined with a dark blue edge. The green in her eyes swirled endlessly around her wide pupils and I could almost swear I saw stars sparkling in their depth. Fitting for someone like her to have celestial features. She jerked her head back when she registered who she was looking at and her face quickly turned a bright pink. The scent from her blood pumping this fast was so pleasant. She snapped her face away and turned slightly to face forward. I was confused. She let her caramel color hair fall in front of her face and wrung her hands in her lap.</p><p>“Do you... remember me?” she mumbled, barely audible.</p><p>Did I remember her? How could I possibly not? She was the catalyst for all of the flowery dreams I couldn’t get rid of. What a question. But the only thing I could get out of my mouth was “Yes.”</p><p>She made a tiny sound like a nervous animal caught by a fox. “Did you see?”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Did you see what I was doing?”</p><p>I thought back and remembered the basket. “You were picking berries, I think.”</p><p>She turned her head back towards me and it was my turn to blush. “That was all you saw?”</p><p>“Yes?” I tilted my head in confusion. Had I missed something?</p><p>“Oh, thank god.” She let out a sigh and smiled at me. All of her sunny features were brightened by her smile. “Sorry, I was just doing something really dumb out there and I panicked.”</p><p>“What were you doing?” I couldn’t control my curiosity.</p><p>“Uh,” she shrunk back slightly again and I wanted to kick myself for asking.</p><p>“Nevermind,” I put my hands up and gave her what I hoped was an assuring smile. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s personal.”</p><p>“No, it’s just… I was out taking pictures. Of myself. In a costume.” She avoided looking at me.</p><p>“Really?” That explained the fancy dress.</p><p>“It’s lame. I was trying to get references for a character I use and I didn’t know anyone else would be out there. I probably creeped you out just standing in the middle of the woods in a big dress and elf ears.” She laughed nervously and rubbed her wrist.</p><p>“Elf…?” I had never been at such a loss for words before. Had I been entirely wrong about her being a human then? I quickly looked to her ear, her hair tucked behind it, and saw only a normal, human appearance.</p><p>“Oh,” her smile dropped. “Did you not see that part either?” I shook my head. “I said I was in a costume. It was, um, a fantasy costume.”</p><p>I just nodded, pretending to understand. Was this something normal? I had no idea how I should be reacting. “You said it was a character? From like a movie?”</p><p>She hesitated again but pushed on. “Yeah. Have you ever heard of D&amp;D?” Yet again I shook my head. “Dungeons and Dragons? It’s a game. You pretend to be a character in a fantasy world and go on quests and stuff.” She was trying very hard to put up a casual front now, but I could tell she was mortified to be explaining this. The tips of her ears were red.</p><p>“And yours is an elf,” I said matter-of-factly. Based on how she was acting, I assumed this hobby was not shared by most of her peers. I grinned and she looked somewhat relieved.</p><p>“That’s right. If you’re interested, maybe I could show what the game is?”</p><p>A felt a burst of light in my chest and my nerves tingled. The thought of spending any time with her, even just hearing her talk, was bizarrely exciting. She was so nice. “Sure, it sounds neat.” The smile she gave me in return threatened to melt me in my chair. Her nervousness was gone now. She was able to feel confident I wouldn’t mock her interests and maybe could even share them. I noticed while she beamed at me she had a tiny gap between her front teeth. It was endearing, combined with her bright round eyes, as if she really was the little animal I imagined her as a minute ago. Would that make me the fox? I wanted to laugh, but restrained myself.</p><p>“Cool,” there was a brief flash of shyness again on her face, but it was gone in an instant. She tore a corner from a page in her notebook and handed it to me after scribbling something down. “My number. So we can text or whatever.” I held the paper covered in purple ink. It almost felt too easy that I was going to be able to be friends with her. I wanted very much to get to know her. She looked surprised and gave a give laugh. “Oh, and I’m Jo. I guess I should have started with that.”</p><p>I chuckled with her. “I’m Renna. I just moved here last week.”</p><p>“Last week? That’s so sudden.” Her eyebrows shot up. “That would be so…”</p><p>We were cut off by the instructor tapping a baton on her desk. The room fell silent and we were welcomed to our class by Ms. Wilson. We were asked to come up, one by one, to see where our ranges were and where we would be placed. Jo went ahead of me and was placed in the soprano section “again”. <em> Again? </em> Was she not a freshman? I thought back to the welcoming ceremony this morning and didn’t remember seeing her there. She must have been older than me, then. Well, older than what Aunt Rose told the school at least. When I was called up next, I made sure to match my range to Jo’s. The first couple of notes on the scale made Ms. Wilson’s eyes widen. I probably should have toned it down a little to sound more human, but an impulse made me want to show off. I sat back down and Jo looked at me with awe.</p><p>“You’re amazing,” she muttered. My ego puffed up and I beamed at her. Her breath caught and she turned back to face the front. Odd. The rest of the class went on and we finished with practicing scales together as a group. I got to keep my seat next to Jo and cheered internally. When class let out and the school day ended, Jo stood and waved at me. I waved back, a floating feeling in my mind. I hoped I made a good impression on her today because now I was fully committed to the idea of being friends with this girl.</p><p>I went to collect my things from my locker and noticed Gabbie at the end of the hall. Feeling more confident now, I walked toward her to say goodbye for the day. When I got closer, I noticed the longing look on her daintily flushed face. She didn’t notice me walk up to her. She was too preoccupied gazing into the classroom on the other side of her locker. I leaned in slightly and saw what seemed to be a club meeting wrapping up.</p><p>“What’s going on in there?” I asked her.</p><p>She startled, jumping an inch off the ground. She whirled around in an instant and slammed her locker shut with a bang. “Renna! What the hell!”</p><p>“Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“You scared the shit out of me is what you did! Oh my god.” She placed a hand on her chest to feel her own heart racing. I blanched. My family never used language like that, so I wasn’t used to hearing it like this.</p><p>“I’m really sorry,” I said quietly, dejected. I already made someone upset without meaning to. I turned my head down.</p><p>Gabbie laughed under her breath. “It’s whatever. Just warn me next time. Wow.” She fanned her face with a folder and shook her head.</p><p>I was so relieved. “Okay.” Then I thought back to just a minute ago. “So, what <em> is </em> going on in that room?”</p><p>Her blush returned. “It's just part of the STEM Club. They’re practicing for Math League.”</p><p>“There’s a math club?” She gave me a half-nod, half-shrug. “And you really want to join?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“You looked pretty interested in it. You should go ask if there’s a spot for you.”</p><p>She opened her full mouth halfway and closed it again. She blinked, at a loss for words. “No, I don’t want to join. I suck at math. I was just, uh… Zoning out.”</p><p>“Oh. Alright.” Weird. She was probably tired. Even I felt a bit drained from how much I did today and at such an early time. “Well, I just wanted to come over and say bye. And thanks for letting me sit at your table today.”</p><p>Now she smiled. “You don’t have to thank me for that. Sit with us tomorrow, too.” She handed me her phone. “Plug your number in my contacts. You have a Twitter?” I shook my head. “Ah, well, nevermind. Here.” I handed it back and she tapped the screen quickly. My messenger bag buzzed and I pulled my own phone out. “There, now you have my number. See you tomorrow!” She walked off and out the door when the STEM Club made their way out of the room. In the middle of the group, poking another boy in the arm in a joking way, was Zach. He noticed me standing in the hall and called out to me.</p><p>“Hey, Renna! Going home?”</p><p>“Yeah. You just missed Gabbie. She left just a second ago.”</p><p>“Really? Gabbie was here?” He looked surprised, but pleased, and craned his neck to look to the front door.</p><p>“Mhm. Just left.”</p><p>He gave a quick goodbye to his friends and asked me if he’d see me at lunch tomorrow. I nodded. After a big grin and a wave to me, Zach bounded down the hall to run after Gabbie. It was nice to know they both seemed happy with my company. It looked like I would have an entire group of friends soon. Friends I chose. I loved that. They were also new people I would get to understand and find out about. At this point, I knew my family very, very well. There was not much that was new with them. Eternally frozen in place. I wrapped my hand around my locket and sighed. I wished I didn’t keep feeling little pangs of guilt every time I thought of them. In a way, I missed them. I took mental pictures and hoped one day I could show them how happy I was with what I’d done. I walked out the front door and took a deep breath in. My walk home would be filled with positive feelings and excitement for tomorrow.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight (Petrichor)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for your lovely comments about Jo. It means a lot that the OCs are getting love. Things are starting to get exciting for Renna and her journey.</p><p>This is the time of year I really start getting into a Twilight mood, when the leaves change and fall and it starts getting colder. I hope everyone had a good (and safe!) Halloween.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Eight (Petrichor)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>My walk home was filled with turbulent feelings and anxiety for tomorrow. I had spent the day in a sea of other people and was suddenly back to being on my own for the rest of the day. I assumed this was what a sugar crash might feel like. Without the chatter of everyone around me, I was left to mill over all the things I had said and done and over analyze every interaction I had today. I wondered if I came across as a normal girl or if anyone caught that something was off. I also hoped I made good impressions on everyone I talked to, despite telling myself I didn’t need to earn the approval of anyone’s opinions of me. I would need to attempt to be more laid back, at least. When I reached my house, I took in the outside once more. I don’t know if it would ever feel any less surreal that this was where I lived. I walked up the front porch and ran my hand gently over the tops of the little blue flowers in the planter box as I walked by.</p><p>I went right to the breakfast nook in the kitchen and laid out my bag. There wasn’t much I needed to do this evening. I already had what little I was given memorized. It would probably have made sense to eat at that point, so I pulled a chicken breast out of the fridge and prepped it for a stirfry. I noticed during my first tour around the house the distinct lack of any packaged blood. I was lucky that during some of my more desperate book searches back in Forks I had read through a few cookbooks Grandmother collected. I layed the chicken down on a bed of veggies on a floral printed plate and took a bite without much interest. Bland. <em> I wonder… </em> I peeked inside a few of the cabinets I hadn’t looked in yet and was greeted on my third try by a shiny new bottle of Tabasco sauce. I shook it out all over the plate and tried another bite. I guessed this stuff was growing on me. Would Dad laugh at that? I tried to imagine his smile and shrunk in on myself a little. They were all probably thoroughly upset at this point. They might even be looking for me, god forbid. I hoped with all my heart they wouldn’t bother wasting their time.</p><p>Food eaten, plate washed and stored away, and no homework to be done, I was left completely without anything I needed to do. There wasn’t even anyone here to entertain. I was probably going to need to take up a hobby or two, but wasn’t sure what I would even like. Everything I did at home was in relation to my family. My legs were restless, so for the moment I decided to go for a walk in the yard. I made a note to look for things to put back here online. A birdbath could be cute. Animals were less hesitant to hang around when I was out rather than a full fledged vampire. Feeders would probably be fun to hang up out here, too. Lost in thought, I blinked and found that I had wandered straight to the clearing with the blueberry bushes. The same spot I first saw Jo. My heart fluttered and I looked around, getting my hopes up that she would be back here. Of course she wasn’t. I chucked to myself at how silly I was being. I absentmindedly moved to the middle of the clearing and sat down in a soft patch of grass. This space was so peaceful it took my breath away. The grass smelled sweet and mixed with the subtle scent of the berries close by, the trees circling above made a gently whispering canopy with the breeze dancing by, and the light in the area was softened by the leaves. I laid back and watched the leaves rustle. The shushing they made was something I couldn’t get over. It was amazingly comforting, almost like Uncle Jazz’s powers washing over me. I loved this place.</p><p>My consciousness faded in and out and I realized I had fallen asleep out here. I wondered how much time had passed, but I didn’t want to open my eyes yet. I was still in that dreamy state between waking up and being fully asleep. My dream was escaping me - I was pretty sure I had a dream - but none of the details would come to me now. It must have been in some part about Jo, though, because I could smell her scent in the air around me. It was a heady scent that made me want to go back to whatever I had been apparently fantasizing about. Mixed with all of this was now the earthy aroma of light rain freshly fallen in the area. I wished I could bottle this. I didn’t feel drops on my skin, so I couldn’t tell if the trees were acting as an umbrella or if I was imagining this as well. I tried to make the dream come back and shifted in the grass, lifting my hand to run my fingers through it. My fingertips came in contact with skin, warm and soft. I sighed, content that the dream was shifting back into place. “Jo…” I smiled and slowly continued, reaching a knee and inching up toward a thigh. So soft. I heard a smothered sound close to my face and got the feeling something wasn’t right. I opened my eyes and was looking back into Jo’s bottomless eyes, half lidded and searching my face. Still in a dreamlike trance, I lifted my hand off her thigh and tenderly cupped her cheek. Her face was so flushed, so incredibly red. What a dream, that I would be the cause of such a reaction.</p><p>“Renna…?” Jo said, high pitched and breathy. “Are you awake?”</p><p>Reality slammed into me like a freight train. My eyes snapped open all the way and my smile dropped like a rock. Every vein in my body ran ice cold. A strangled sound escaped my throat and scrambled back to add as much distance as I could get between us as fast as possible until I ultimately slammed my back into the trunk of a tree. My breath popped out of me in a whoosh and tears sprang to my eyes. From the impact or embarrassment, I didn’t know. Jo clambered after me, unbalanced, and reached out to me.</p><p>“Oh my god, are you okay?” She kept reaching for me and then pulling back, like she didn’t know if touching me would hurt.</p><p>“Jo?”</p><p>“Yes? I’m here. What just happened?” She finally settled on placing her hands on my shoulders lightly. The dreamy fog was creeping back into my mind. Everything about where we were made my nerves sing and my instincts want to lean into her. The bark of the tree pressed into my back and she leaned forward instead, cocking her head to the side. The fragrance of her blood pounding under the heat of her skin made me dizzy. She squinted in concern.</p><p>“Did you crack your head? Renna?” Please keep saying my name. “Renna?” Ah, bliss.</p><p>“I’m okay,” I finally grumbled. Relief washed over her face. “I was just shocked. Very, very shocked.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry!” She looked panicked again. “I came out to read and saw you on the ground. I got scared you might have passed out or something and tried to wake you up, but uh… You… Hm.” She couldn’t bring herself to finish. Pink rose back to her cheeks and she averted her eyes from me. “Anyway, I’m sorry I scared you.”</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” There was an awkward silence and the sound of tiny raindrops danced around us. I guess it was actually raining. “What were you going to read?”</p><p>We locked eyes again and she looked like she wanted to turn tail and run. “A fantasy novel.” She offered no other details.</p><p>Trying to brighten the mood, I guess with what little I knew about her. “Is it a D&amp;D book?”</p><p>A laugh, musical and brief. “Sort of.” Another long, awkward pause.</p><p>I straightened myself up and stood, wanting to give her some space. Obviously she came out here to read in privacy. “I’ve been out here for a while. I should head back home.”</p><p>“Oh, okay.” Jo blinked, thoughtful. “You must live pretty close, right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I smiled, pointing to the area of woods I had come from. “Not very far that way.”</p><p>“Wow, so we’re technically neighbors. Wild.”</p><p>“I guess we are. Well, I hope your book is good. See you tomorrow.” I waved and turned to head back, telling myself not to look back over my shoulder. Her scent clung to my clothes and I sighed. Was this kind of reaction to someone normal? It might have been because she was the first human I saw here. I wasn’t sure how right that sounded, but didn’t want to think too hard about it right now. My heartrate was still spiked and I needed to calm down.</p><p> </p><p>Like the last time I found Jo in the clearing, the rest of the evening after was a blur. I kept going back in my mind to my little afternoon nap. My hands still felt the sensation of her skin if I thought about it hard enough. I could not believe I’d been caught like that. I must have been beyond out of it if it was that easy to sneak up on me.</p><p>The next morning I decided it would be okay to be a bit more casual at school. I paired a tastefully vintage band shirt with jeans and slipped on a chain link bracelet. After a few scrambled eggs and toast, I was ready to set out on my walk to school. Halfway through my trek, I heard a familiar voice approaching behind me.</p><p>“Hey, Renna,” Kevin said while swiping his dark hair out of her face. It fell back over his eye regardless.</p><p>“Kevin!” I smiled and waved. He kicked a board out from under him and caught it against his hip.</p><p>“Why are you walking to school?”</p><p>“So I can attend?” There was nothing on the schedule saying school was out today.</p><p>“No kidding. I meant, why are you walking instead of like, biking or something?”</p><p>“Biking?” I looked around and lo and behold there were a couple other people on bicycles heading towards the school. Walking must not be that common then. “I have a bike,” I said, hoping I actually did. “I just wanted to walk the first couple of days. New kid nerves?”</p><p>He nodded sagely, like this made complete sense to him. “Probably gonna want to break that out soon. Walking’s going to get old really fast.”</p><p>“Sure, thanks for the advice.”</p><p>Kevin’s expression never changed much from his default deadpan look, but he gave me an almost smirk and tilted his head back briefly. “Cool. See you later, then.” He dropped the board back down with a clack and hopped on, rolling ahead with a practiced casual indifference.</p><p>I made it through my first classes smoothly and wandered into the cafeteria. Like yesterday, the group I made friends with sat at the same table. I grabbed a tray and loaded on a bowl of spaghetti and some garlic bread. I scooted by a pair going back and forth about trading desserts with each other for more garlic bread and paid for my lunch. Josh waved me over again and I sat in the same seat I used yesterday. It was comforting to know I had a place to belong to here without much effort on my part. I found the hot sauce bottle and began to shake it over my pasta.</p><p>“Geez, you like stuff spicy, huh?” Josh cringed back dramatically.</p><p>I set the bottle back down and felt confused. “Is that bad?”</p><p>“Well, your taste buds are probably all burned off by now.”</p><p>I sank down in my chair, regret grabbing me. Yesterday went by so easily, it made sense the actual difficulty of fitting in would catch up to me now.</p><p>Gabbie swatted Josh on the arm. “Stop it. You’re hurting her feelings.”</p><p>He looked surprised. “Wait, did I really? I’m sorry, Renna. I was just picking on you. Your food is fine.” I sat back up, relieved, and started eating.</p><p>Zach spoke up. “Yeah, it’s actually Kev we need to worry about. Garlic kills vampires, you know?”</p><p>I dropped my fork on my tray and froze mid-chew. There was no way they knew.</p><p>Kevin scoffed and took a huge bite of his bread, the action somehow dripping in sarcasm. “Shut up. You’re lucky I’m not or I would have already bitten your ass.”</p><p>Laughter kicked up around the table.</p><p>“You want to bite his ass, Kevin?” Gabbie giggled.</p><p>“You all are childish.” Kevin rolled his eyes, but humor danced in them. He met my wide eyed stare and half-smirked. “So where are you on the vampire thing?”</p><p>I choked my mouthful of food down and tensed up. “The what?”</p><p>Josh laughed. “Oh, she’s totally one, too. She’s just as pale as you are. You’d better be careful of the garlic bread, too.” He elbowed the air in my direction, trying to get me in on the joke with him. My mind was trying to catch up to what was going on. It was all just a joke.</p><p>“Garlic doesn’t kill vampires.” I bit the inside of my cheek. Why did I just say that? My mouth had been working on its own lately.</p><p>Josh didn’t notice my internal groaning, though. He was delighted I was playing along. “You would know, I guess! Just a couple of unaging creatures of the night over here.”</p><p>Gaining more confidence, I decided to just roll with it. “That’s funny, because I could have sworn I had a birthday coming up.”</p><p>“Wait, what? Your birthday is soon?” Gabbie leaned over the table.</p><p>“Mhm. Next week. In fact, in exactly one week.”</p><p>“Next Wednesday?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“Oh my god! That’s so soon! We need to do something.” Gabbie excitedly looked at the guys around us. “Maybe we could go out to Dairy Queen or something after school?”</p><p>I didn’t exactly know what that was, but they all seemed interested in the idea.</p><p>“Is your family going to be doing something for you that day?” Zach asked.</p><p>“Oh. I’m going to be alone that day. My mother is going to be out of the state.” Technically true.</p><p>“What?” Gabbie sounded dismayed. “That’s terrible. Are you upset?”</p><p>I didn’t really think to be upset before, but now I supposed I was somewhat melancholy. “It’s not a big deal. Maybe you guys could come over for a little bit? We could watch a movie or something and order a pizza.”</p><p>There were general sounds of enthusiasm to this. Josh asked “Do you have a Wii? I could bring that dance game.”</p><p>“Sure. That sounds fun.” I made a mental note to buy a “Wii”, whatever that was. We all exchanged cell phone numbers and I sent everyone my address in a text. This was going to be so amazingly normal I wanted to cry happy tears. A thought tugged at me and I turned automatically in my seat. “Would it be okay if I invited Jo, too?”</p><p>“If you want to,” Josh replied. “Are you guys friends?”</p><p>“Um, maybe. I’d like to be.” I felt heat rising to my face.</p><p>“It’s your birthday. You make the rules.” Kevin waved the others off and we all finished our lunch debating where to get the pizza from.</p><p>The second half of classes went by without incident and I was finally making my way to choir. I took my assigned seat and eagerly scanned the room for Jo. Right when I realized she wasn’t here, she walked through the door and I couldn’t help but smile. Jo met my gaze instantly and smiled back somewhat shyly. Memories of yesterday surfaced in my mind and I suddenly felt awkward. I hoped I hadn’t made her uncomfortable yesterday. I also hope, more than anything, I hadn’t said anything out loud. Jo took her seat by me and took out a pencil from her backpack.</p><p>“Hey.” I couldn’t figure out what else to say.</p><p>“Hey,” she said back. At least she didn’t look upset.</p><p>“So it might be sudden, but I guess I’m having a birthday party next week. It’s just my group of friends I sit with at lunch and I don’t think we’ll be able to do too much since it’s a school night, but I was wondering if you wanted to come. There’ll be pizza and a dancing game?”</p><p>She was surprised and took a minute before answering. “You want me to come?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely. I was hoping we could get to talk more.” I blushed and tried to pull back some of my over eagerness while fishing for a pencil of my own. “I was interested in what your game was about.” That should do it.</p><p>“Wow. Yeah, I’ll think about it. Who all will be there?”</p><p>I listed their first names and descriptions of each of them. Jo filled me in on their last names, apparently knowing them. Zach Cartwright, Kevin Wilder, Josh McLoughlin, and Gabriella McLoughlin.</p><p>“So they are related? They have the same last name. I noticed how similar they look.”</p><p>“It makes sense they look the same. They’re twins.” Jo chuckled.</p><p>“Oh, I had no idea. They never brought it up.”</p><p>“Probably because they didn’t think to. Everyone already knows and we all moved up with each other since elementary school.”</p><p>“And what’s your last name?”</p><p>There was an odd moment of silence. “Jo Maxwell.”</p><p>What was the hesitation for? “I like that name.” I felt my face turn redder and I knew that was a weird thing to say. “I’m uh… Mine is Golden. My name. Last name. Um.”</p><p>“I like your name, too.” Now I was certain my face looked like a tomato and I turned to face the front of the class to avoid embarrassing myself further. The instructor walked in with a thick binder and took roll call, followed promptly by a vocal warmup. We were told our role in homecoming would be small, just the school’s anthem and a song relating to the theme of the dance. The seniors had voted on the theme Night Among the Stars. I started to get excited, but Jo whispered for me not to get my hopes up. Apparently it was just going to be vaguely space themed with a big moon hung up instead of a disco ball. I was delighted regardless that it would be the first event like this I had ever attended. I would probably be just as happy if the theme was Garbage Bags. After going over our songs several times, class finally ended and we scooped our things up to leave.</p><p>“Just send me your address in a text,” Jo said, getting ready to walk out the door. “I think I have a good idea which house is yours, but I just want to make sure and tell my brother where I’ll be. I think it should be okay. I don’t really know your friends well, but they’ve never been mean to me before. Should be fine.”</p><p>The thought crossed my mind that maybe other people had not been kind to her before. I felt an urge to demand the names of anyone who might have treated her poorly and hold them down until they apologized. I didn’t want to make assumptions, though, and tried to keep a positive mindset. I said my goodbyes to Jo and got to wave at Zach and Josh standing in the hall. I had a lot to look forward to and prepare for the next week, so I dashed as fast as I could while still looking human home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine (Celebration)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Getting close to birthday time for a certain special half-vampire girl. We're learning more and deepening friendships. I hope you like this new chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Nine (Celebration)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The week leading up to my birthday was mostly uneventful. I went to class, enjoyed lunch and humorous conversation with my friends, and got to sing with Jo in choir. I learned Jo was a  sophomore, but because of complications with how much her parents used to move around she was a year older than her classmates - 17. She had already celebrated her birthday in July. I felt somewhat disappointed I didn’t know her sooner so I could have given her something then. I was also in that week able to have a Wii U ordered and shipped to the house. Hopefully that was what Josh meant and we would be able to play his game. I was lucky enough I didn’t have to order a bike, too. There was a new looking bike, along with various garden tools, in the shed in my yard. It was shiny, red, and had its own chain and lock to go with it. I did have to order a helmet, though. I was surprised Aunt Rose hadn’t thought to get one for me until I saw the engraving on the down tube of the bike, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rosalie ♡</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It must have been a present to her from Uncle Emmett. I knew she wouldn’t mind me using it, but my heart hurt the first time I climbed on to ride it with longing for them. After practicing for a few hours, I was able to pedal around normally. Thank goodness for a vampire’s perfect balance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much to do to prepare beforehand. I didn’t have anything to clean, but I spritzed some scented spray on the furniture regardless to make it smell more lived in. With the house smelling delightfully like apples, I sat and waited for my friends to arrive. The plan we went over earlier at school was that they would all go home first and come over together as a group around five. We would be able to hang out for only two or three hours, but I was so happy I was having anyone over for any amount of time. Two weeks in this house had already been so lonely. I should consider a pet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was rearranging the order of pillows on the couch for the fifth time when I heard the doorbell ring. I made sure to keep the fence gate unlocked for my friends. I glanced at the clock. They were an hour early. Shrugging, I opened the door with a huge smile and saw Jo standing on my porch, alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy birthday!” she said, matching my smile. I collected my thoughts and let her in. “I didn’t get to talk to you much today. I hope it was still okay to come over ‘whenever’?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Curse Ms. Wilson and her punctuality today. I realized, because we went right into choir practice with no time for idle talk, that I hadn’t told Jo of the plans I made with the others. The last time we talked about the party, Jo had texted me to ask when she could come over. At the time, “whenever” was my response. Oops.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s totally fine,” I told her. “The rest will be here soon. Do you want something to drink? I made lemonade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, thank you. I’m good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mm.” There was an awkward silence now, made more obvious by how unnaturally quiet it was in the house. I didn’t have the TV on or a radio and I didn’t have any family here to be making noise in the other rooms. It was very, very quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo coughed and glanced towards a chair. I felt heat wash over me, feeling rude. “Oh, I’m sorry. You can sit wherever you want. Just make yourself at home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you!” she said a bit too loudly and sank into an armchair. She looked down at her feet, a lost-in-thought look on her face, and she whipped her head up to me remorsefully. “Oh god, I’m so sorry!” I had no idea what she was apologizing for until she quickly yanked her shoes off and hurried them over to the entryway. I looked down at my own shoes, still snugly on my own feet, and laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” I said, tugging at them and setting them next to hers. “Forgot mine, too.” I guess I would have to start following Grandmother’s house rule again. I hadn’t thought about it since I got here. I sat back on the couch close to Jo, suddenly not knowing what to do with my hands. I hated how self conscious I felt now that we were alone. I was at a loss for words. Luckily, Jo seemed to notice and helped the conversation along.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re acting like we’ve never had a friend over before, huh?” She laughed and it quickly died down when she met my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, really? Never? Never in your life?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. Never. I wasn’t allowed near…” I couldn’t say </span>
  <em>
    <span>humans</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “...many other people growing up. Just my family and some family friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jo’s look of pity pierced through me. “Are your parents very strict?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Extremely. But not now. In fact, my mom isn’t home very often. She’s out of state right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On your birthday?” She looked even sadder. “Is it just your mother here with you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded. “Just us.” That was the story I planned with Aunt Rose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo wrung her hands gently in her lap and her eyes became glassy. “Like me then. Kind of. My parents are professors and travel all over the world periodically to study niche stuff. Mom does a lot with folk myths from different cultures and that sort of goes along with the fantasy stuff I like, so she brings me back neat presents all the time. I could show you some day. But because they’re always gone, it’s just me and my brother. I’m sure you know him. The school counselor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My heart warmed that she was trying to cheer me up. Whether I needed it or not I wasn’t sure myself. “I think I’ve seen you sitting with him at lunch. He works at the school? How much older is he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s nine years older than me. Big age gap. I was…” she leaned in conspiratorially, making a dramatic show of covering the side of her mouth to whisper in a joking tone. “...unplanned!” We both burst into laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too!” I giggled. “Very, very unplanned. I caused my mom a complicated pregnancy and difficult birth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, no. My brother, Will, was going to come out feet first. It was apparently a big scare.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow. So you live with Will?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. My parents convinced him to move back home so I could stay in one spot and go through high school normally. It worked out for him, though. He’s close to work and doesn’t have to pay rent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good.” I thought back to what she said about her souvenirs. “I really would like to see the things your mom brought you. It sounds really interesting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo opened her mouth to reply, excited, when the doorbell rang again. We jumped back and I realized then how close we had gravitated towards each other while talking. Heart pounding, I lept off the couch and ran to the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy birthday!” my friends cheered in unison. I let them in and they started to kick their shoes off after noticing the two pairs already lined up by the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo, this is Josh, Gabbie, Zach, and Kevin. Guys, this is Jo.” While I knew they all knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>of</span>
  </em>
  <span> each other, I still gave them a little icebreaker to start with. After a round of heys and his, they shuffled around to sit in the living room. We talked a little about school and I was happy Jo was managing to join in, though rather quietly. I was learning that Jo was a shy person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, where are we getting that pizza? I’m starving,” Josh spoke up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we all getting our own? Josh is going to ask for pineapple,” Gabbie mimicked gagging.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hawaiian pizza is a delicacy! Are you really my sister?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I spoke up before I could figure out if this was a real fight or just a joke. “We can all get our own. My mom’s treating us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Thank you, Mrs. Golden!” Zach shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “So where, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We went over pros and cons for the local places and settled on a place Kevin promised was amazing that would deliver to my house. Josh did indeed order a Hawaiian. Gabbie and Kevin got buffalo chicken - though Kevin oddly asked for his without chicken - and Zach got pepperoni. Jo nervously asked for mushrooms and olives and shrunk down a bit when she got confused looks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For real?” Gabbie asked. Though not maliciously, Jo tensed up further. “That’s the stuff I usually pick off of a pizza.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I spoke up quickly. “Actually, that’s a coincidence because I was going to order the exact same pizza. It’s my favorite.” I was treated to a smile so pure I almost wanted to cry. We put in the order and Josh went to go set up our game.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess you guys don’t really decorate for birthdays, huh?” Kevin said while scanning the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I thought back to all the birthdays Aunt Alice and Grandmother went overboard on for me, but decided agreeing with him would be easier to explain. “Not really. But Mom will make it up to me when she gets back. I’ll get presents and a nice dinner, don’t worry.” I’d have to look up the name of some restaurants around here in case anyone asked about it later on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good,” Zach chimed in. “We’ll just have to light your cake for you, then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I could almost hear a record scratch somewhere in my mind. Why on god’s green earth had I not remembered a cake. Maybe I could also explain it away with my imaginary mom’s plans. “I, uh. Don’t have one today.” Five sets of eyes were suddenly glued to me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, no. I can’t take much more of this. You don’t look too beat up, but I’m sad for you.” Zach shook his head and went to the door, slipping into his shoes. He gave me a stoic look, like a superhero ready to take off. “I will be back.” Before I could process what was going on, he was out the door and speed walking down the path to the gate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he okay? Should I go get him?” I looked around at everyone else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie laughed. “He’s fine. Just a man on a mission. He always looks out for his friends.” I didn’t know what he was planning to do, but hearing that was nice. I guess we really were all friends now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While waiting for Zach to return, we all played a few rounds of Josh’s dancing game. It was fun and everyone gradually got more into it, even Jo. After everyone was starting to get breathless from jumping around so much, Zach walked back through the door with a plastic bag in his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, everyone. To the kitchen!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We hurried to my kitchen and Zach tossed the bag on a counter. Inside was a box of cake mix, a can of frosting, and a small box of candles. I looked up at him, still confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to make you a cake, space cadet.” He was grinning so wide it was contagious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s really nice of you.” I didn’t know what to say. I was incredibly touched. “Where did you get this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ran to the convenience store two streets down. Literally ran. I need your sink.” He walked over and started splashing water on his face, still smiling the entire time. Kevin had the box and was calling out what was needed. Gabbie followed his lead, grabbing eggs from the fridge. Josh dashed over to preheat the oven. Jo found a bowl on the counter and a baking spatula in a decorative canister. We ended up being a well oiled machine, working together to get the cake in the oven. A few more rounds of Josh’s game in the living room later and we were frosting a still warm cake. A pack of sprinkles in the lid of the can topped it off. It started to turn gooey from still being warm and drooped slightly, but I had never seen a more beautiful cake. It was a big, white blob with rainbow dots and I loved it. When Zach stuck the tiny candles into the cake and Kevin pulled a lighter out of his pocket, I had to press my nails into the palms of my hands to not cry. When all of my friends huddled together and started singing, I did cry. I made a wish to get to have many more moments like this, filled to the brim with love and joy, and blew out the candles. The others clapped and Gabbie chuckled, phone in hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got a nice pic for you. I’ll send it to you.” She poked the screen of her phone and looked back up. “I should take more. Smile.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo stepped closer to me and put her hand around my shoulders. Her scent flooded my senses and I felt dizzy. Gabbie snapped the picture and moved on to take ones of the guys. Jo faced me, dropping her arm. “Do you want to turn on a fan? You’re radiating a lot of heat there.” That would be my hybrid physiology. We ran hotter than a human did, just a few degrees below 108 fahrenheit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. Must be a combination of all that dancing and standing around a hot oven. I’ll be fine.” Still, I flicked the switch to the ceiling fan to keep up normal appearances.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie made her way back over to me. “Before you cut into this thing...” she said while motioning towards our cake, “here.” She handed me a bright purple envelope. “We didn’t have much to go off of and not a lot of time, so I hope you like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I peeled open the top and pulled out a card with cats all over the front. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hope you have a purrfect birthday! </span>
  </em>
  <span>I snorted, suppressing my laughter. Kevin, Zach, Josh, and Gabbie all signed the card - Gabbie with hearts over all of her “i”s. An iTunes gift card slipped out of the center.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, guys! I mean it, this is all amazing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo stepped up and handed me a small package. “I got you a little something, too.” I took it from her and our fingers brushed lightly with the exchange. My pulse accelerated. It fit in the palm of my hand and was wrapped in silver paper. I carefully pulled it away and there sitting in the middle of the paper was a bracelet. I held it up to the light, the clear, round beads catching the sun coming in through a window and sparkled playfully. At the end of one side there was a solid white bead and the opposite end held a black bead. It was so simple, but I couldn’t stop staring. I must have been lost in thought too long, because Jo cleared her throat and I tore my gaze away to meet her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a Lokai bracelet. Have you seen them before? It’s supposed to remind you to balance your highest points in life with your lowest. See the beads?” She explained the meaning while gently taking the bracelet and slipping it on my wrist. My skin burned where her delicate fingers touched.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but a woosh of air was all that came out. I swallowed, throat dry, and tried again. “Thank you.” It was all I could manage to say, but I hoped I had laced it with enough emotion that she could hear my gratitude.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie leaned over then, breaking the tension. “Oh, I have one of these! I keep seeing them all over the place. This one is super pretty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo beamed, delighted to have gotten me something trendy. I dropped my hand to my side, feeling the weight of the beads on my wrist grow heavier in my mind the more I thought about them. Jo thought of me. Jo got me a gift. I was bobbing along in an ocean of happiness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’s cake time,” Zach announced, prompting me to find a knife and serve it. We all sat around the breakfast nook and dug in. It was overly sweet, but I was surprised at how well I was tolerating it. The little spots of color inside the cake were amusing. I’m sure Grandfather would have balked at how much artificial color was in this. Grandmother would have used fresh strawberries, I bet. And then I would have visited Grandpa and he would have snuck me some neon colored sugar bomb of a cupcake and we would have laughed like bandits. My smile faltered a bit, missing them. I shoveled more cake in my mouth and concentrated on being in the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After devouring our pizzas in front of the TV and cleaning up our mess, we all realized how much time had passed. I was given another round of “happy birthday”s and hugs, which was funny in and of itself. Josh and Gabbie went in at the same time, Zach scooped me up in a quick bear hug, and Kevin gave me a sort of half-hug with one arm while avoiding eye contact. They grabbed their pizza boxes, taking home what they didn’t finish, and filed out the door. Last to leave was Jo. She stood in the doorway while the others walked slower than usual to give her time to catch up to them. It was great how much they warmed up to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo stood, fidgeting and looking down, like she didn’t know what to say. Her lips moved like she was speaking, but no sound came out. I leaned closer, trying to hear. Her eyes traveled back up to mine and she froze, noticing how close our faces were. Her lips, a delicate pink, were trembling slightly. There was a gloss to them, like she had licked them very recently. There was suddenly a magnet inside me, pulling with shocking force to rid the gap between us. It took every shred of my willpower to fight against it. When I managed to look back into her deep green eyes, I noticed how red her face had become.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you had a good birthday,” she said under her breath, not breaking eye contact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did. Thank you for coming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After another long pause, she turned and walked down the path with a starstruck expression frozen on her face. When she reached the gate, she started jogging to catch up to the others and say her goodbyes. I closed the door and slid my back down the other side to the floor. I held the bracelet up to my face and took a breath. It held onto her scent.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten (School Spirit)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We've reached double digits, guys! I think the next chapter will be the halfway point for the story. The events of the next chapter are what I have as being the center of the timeline for the plot, at least. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Ten (School Spirit)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two weeks went by in a flash. Despite the heavy moment I thought we’d shared on my birthday, Jo went on acting like nothing had happened. We talked normally and went through choir smiling and laughing like usual. Jo even came to sit with my little group at lunch sometimes when Will, her brother, couldn’t eat with her. She had told me that most of the time she got to see him was at school. He was pretty busy running the house for his parents while they were away. Jo always looked wistful when she talked about her parents and my heart ached seeing her loneliness. I was ten times more grateful that my friends were all starting to care about her now, too. She seemed happy to have our company.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only odd thing that happened between now and then was a conversation with Gabbie the day after my party. She had shown me the photos she took and teased me in a joking way about the tears running down my face in the photo of me blowing out my candles. She swiped to the next picture and stopped silent. The picture showed Jo with her arm wrapped around me. Jo looked flustered, her face flushed and tilted toward me. I, on the other hand, was shocked at my appearance. I was several shades redder than Jo. I was leaning into her, my hand hesitantly raised up as if I was planning to reach up and caress her face. The look in my eyes was intense, like I was looking upon a bride for the first time at an altar. I jerked my head back when Gabbie showed me this. I didn’t remember acting like this at all. A hot rush of embarrassment took over my senses then and my stomach cramped. Gabbie was struck silent, glancing quickly between me and her phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” Gabbie finally said. “This is, uh… Hm. I guess this explains the thing at the door.” She laughed awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What thing at the door?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At the party? Are you guys not together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were all together?” I was confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My head swam and I was violently pushed ashore to realization. I had never made the connection because the only people I had ever been around were precise pairs of the opposite sex. It was never in the front of my mind. It wasn’t even something in the movies I watched with my family or the books I was given. It was startling to finally see what was happening for what it was, like opening my eyes to a bright light after keeping them closed for so long. I recognized it now. It was like those looks exchanged between Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper, Grandmother and Grandfather, and even my own parents. I had seen similar, though more discreet, acts of affection with Grandpa and Gramma Sue. It was love, or at least the steps leading up to it. Attraction. I was hopelessly attracted to Jo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We aren’t dating,” I managed to say, though too quietly. I hung my head, trying to hide how much I was blushing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Gabbie’s voice was clear with understanding. “But you want to be.” There was no question in her tone. My head snapped up and I met her eyes with pleading. I was worried now for what Jo would think. Gabbie gave me a small smile and patted my arm. “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. I’m here for you, Renna.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I remember hugging Gabbie then, trying not to shake with how many emotions swirled around me. I was lucky she had shown me the picture after school had let out. I made my way back home as quickly as possible, ran to my room, and cried. It was the hardest I had ever cried and it felt like years of struggling coming undone with each tear that poured out. I don’t know how long I cried, but after a while it started to slow. I felt better, relieved. Being soaked in my own tears was a baptism for my heart. I felt new. I was new, I told myself. I was Renna. And I liked Jo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was now the first week of October, what was being called Spirit Week at school. It was an entire week of activities leading up to homecoming - the football game and the dance. We would dress up for different themes during the week, leading up to a pep rally on Friday and the game that night. That would be our choir debut for the year. Saturday was the dance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two days ago, a package arrived in the mail I wasn’t expecting. Inside was a long, formal dress covered in sparkles. There was also a shoebox and a jewelry box. There was no note or return address, but I knew after opening the boxes they were from Aunt Rose. She must know my school’s calendar. I smiled. Gabbie, Zach, Josh, Kevin, and I would be going together as a group. Kevin did not want to go, but the others wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had coolly informed everyone he would wear black jeans and sneakers and refused to dance. I almost felt bad for him, but Josh told me he’d always been like this and has always had fun people watching at dances in the past. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He won’t go if he has to admit it’s his own idea</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Josh had told me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lunch came around like usual. We all found our seats and commented on our attire for the day. Monday was Pajamas Day. I was initially embarrassed to leave my house in a pair of flannel pants with bunnies dotted all over, but now I felt underdressed. Gabbie had the works. She was wearing a fluffy bathrobe as a jacket and slippers to match with her ginger hair up in big curlers. Josh was also wearing a robe and slippers, paired with a neck pillow. They really went all out. Zach wore a big t-shirt and flannel pants, a casual comparison to the twins. Kevin wore a black sweatsuit instead of pajamas and I had a feeling this was as close to dressing down as he would ever be willing to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo wandered over after we settled in with our food and took a seat next to me. This must be one of Will’s busy days. She had on an oversized hoodie that she was just about drowning in and basketball shorts. Her golden waves were tied up in a messy bun on top of her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, guys! Fun PJs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Gabbie pressed her hand to her chest, diva-like. “This all feels so fast, right? Homecoming will be over like that.” She snapped her fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Speaking of homecoming,” I started. Gabbie gave me a knowing look and I pretended I didn’t see it. “Are you going to the dance, Jo?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh,” she looked taken aback. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you wanted to come with us. We’re all going as a group. You should come, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She still looked shocked and sat completely still. “You guys want me to come? With you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The group all nodded and gave various sounds of approval. She still looked out at us with wide eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously? I’ve never been… to a dance.” She trailed off, each word quieter than the last.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you being serious?” Gabbie gasped. “Oh, no. We have to fix that. You’re totally coming with us now. Do you have a dress?” Jo didn’t finish shaking her head before Gabbie started back up again. “Nevermind. We’ll get you a dress. Don’t you worry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo was surprised and confused, but didn’t look unhappy about this turn of events. I was happy for her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is going to be my first dance, too,” I spoke up. Gabbie was on me in an instant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, my god, we need two dresses now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I already have one, remember?” I’d already sent a picture of it to our group chat on my phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s right. My bad. Anyway, I guess that makes sense with how strict your mom was and stuff.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I kind of lived under a rock, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie pouted. “I’m glad it’s better now, though. Anyway, Jo, I’ll send you pictures of dresses I have at home. I’m a lot curvier than you.” She glanced down at her rounded features. “But my cousin sent a crap ton of dress to me when she graduated. Most of them I can’t wear. Don’t know what she was thinking. But there’s got to be one you’d like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo was swept up in Gabbie’s plans and I smothered a laugh in my hand. I turned to the other side of the table and found the guys had gone off on their own conversation about music and concerts. They probably weren’t that captivated by the dress talk. Kevin noticed me watching them and tried to include me in the conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You into music, Renna?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. Not really anything specific though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you like metal, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wear that Pantera shirt to school all the time. Are you a fan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pictured my vintage band shirt in my mind and almost slapped my forehead. It never really occurred to me that it was anything other than a shirt, but I guessed I technically was advertising my interest in the band.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve listened to a couple of their songs before,” I admitted, getting nervous. I was grateful that I actually had. “I just like the shirt. It was a present.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Josh looked interested. “From a boyfriend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I screwed my face up. “Uh, no. My aunt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re aunt sounds awesome,” Zach said with a big, toothy grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She is awesome.” I sighed, knowing Aunt Alice would love the flattery. “So, what are you guys into?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I spent the rest of lunch listening to the boys go on about their favorite songs and a concert Kevin went to over the summer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The end of the week came upon us fast. Today was School Colors Day; we were expected to wear gold and purple. Classes were cut short today for the pep rally. Choir mostly consisted of Ms. Wilson handing out the shirts we would wear for our performance at the homecoming game tonight. Purple, gold trimmed, and proudly featuring our mascot - a big grizzly bear. Uncle Emmett would be beside himself in a laughing fit if he knew. We gathered in the gym for what would have been our last period and were seated by grade. I sighed knowing I couldn’t sit with Jo. I took a seat by the twins and came to the realization that Kevin and Zach were also not going to sit with us. I ran through conversations I’d had with them in my head. Based on context clues, it made sense they weren’t in my grade. I didn’t have any classes with them. Although, I only had one class with Josh and Gabbie. Was my memory getting worse? That shouldn’t be possible…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I started, almost jumping a foot off of the bleachers, when a ridiculously loud buzzer sounded. Josh turned his face so I wouldn’t catch him laughing. Colored spotlights danced around the gym floor and a group of cheerleaders ran out and greeted us. My heart was racing and I made an effort to slow my breathing. Good god, was this a lot to take in at once. Music started pumping through speakers and the cheerleaders went into their routine while our mascot ran back and forth in front of them, waving his arms frantically. After what felt like hours, the cheer captain bounded up to a podium and asked us all to “show some pride for Honey High”. Screams and stomps erupted in the room. I covered my ears and turned to Gabbie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Honey High?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easier to yell than ‘Honeycomb Preparatory Academy’. Most of the teachers hate it, though.” She shrugged, nonchalant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, Bears! Tonight’s the night!” the perky girl at the mic went on. “We’ve worked hard to get where we are. And what are we gonna do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crowd yelled back “Kick some tail!” like this was rehearsed. Guess I didn’t get the memo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Let’s send those pups back to the pound!” the cheer captain proudly proclaimed and fell back into formation with the other girls. More music started up and a huge paper sign was carried out onto the floor by two members of the football team. On it was a wolf. A big, burly, angry wolf. The wind was knocked out of me and my jaw fell. The person in the bear suit hopped over with an oversized football and threw it into the wolf’s face, bursting open the paper. The crowd went wild, reaching a deafening roar. I felt faint and the room went impossibly cold. I tried to turn to Gabbie and reached out to her, but my arm didn’t move. The last thing I remembered as dark patches crept into the corners of my vision was Gabbie looking at me with scared eyes and yelling for Josh to grab me.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was dark. I was barefoot, I noticed, and padded my way slowly across a hard surface. The more I walked, the more I could focus on. There was suddenly grass under my feet and an earthy smell around me. It was very quiet, only the sound of a distant river and my breathing could be picked up on. It was still weirdly dark, though, and I had to force myself to try and see past it. Frustrated, I broke out into a sprint hoping to reach something. Anything. I was cut short when I ran into something hard, but I was thankfully unharmed. Light was brightening up the area and I looked up to see what I had run into when two large hands seized me by my arms. Ice cold dread filled me, despite the burning hands holding me in place. It was bright enough to see him now. “Nessie!” he yelled in my face, a crazed look in his eyes and his mouth open in a horrific smile. His brought his face closer to mine, increasing his volume with every painfully slow centimeter. “Nessie! Nessie! Nessienessienessienessienessie…!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My body broke free of the terror and I whipped my arms out as hard as I could. I screamed, trying to startle him into dropping me. I was tangled in something and I panicked harder, breathing becoming painful as I dragged in air at an alarming pace. I heard Gabbie then, yelling my name. Renna. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My</span>
  </em>
  <span> name. I slowed my movements and felt tears forming in my eyes as I tried to look around and take in where I was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, oh my god. Are you okay?!” Gabbie sounded close to crying, too. “Josh, go get the nurse!” I heard footsteps dash out of the room and Gabbie ran over to me. I was in a small bed, covered in a white blanket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabbie…?” My voice came out hoarse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, oh my god. Oh my god.” She was shaking her head and took my hand in hers. “That was so scary! Coach Nielson had to carry you here. Are you in pain? I don’t think you hit anything. Josh didn’t let you fall over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Words wouldn’t come to me. I tried to rub my thumb on the back of her hand and smile a little to reassure her, but I wasn’t sure if I actually did. I was so disoriented. The nurse ran in then, followed by Josh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Miss Golden, we’re glad you’re awake. Don’t worry, honey, it was only for a few minutes. Ten tops. How are you feeling now? Is this normal for you, dear?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I knew I needed to de-escalate this as quickly as possible. “Yes, I… I faint easily. I didn’t eat a lot today and it must have caught up with me.” The nurse looked concerned. “I was too excited for today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She eventually gave me a motherly smile. “I know how exciting it is to experience your first homecoming, but you need to remember to take care of yourself. You’re going to need to go right home. Should I call your parents?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, please don’t. It’s really not a big deal. I don’t want to miss my choir performance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now I got a round of pitying looks. “Dear, you won’t be able to do that this evening. Not after that tumble today. You up on stage, singing at the top of your lungs… that’s a recipe for another fainting spell so soon after this one. Ms. Wilson is already aware of what happened, she was there when the coach helped you here. It’s alright, honey, no tears. It’s just the anthem, anyway. You’ll have tons more opportunities to sing later on. Christmas is the choir’s big spotlight. It’ll be okay.” The nurse rubbed my shoulder and I looked out at nothing in particular in shock. I wasn’t going to be able to sing for homecoming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Josh and Gabbie ended up walking me home. Josh wheeled my bike next to him and carried my backpack for me. I would have protested against it harder, but I didn’t have it in me. My soul was deflated. For their benefit, I assured the twins my mother was home and they waved as I stumbled inside. My phone buzzed, a message from Jo asking if I was okay. I told her I was fine and planned to just eat some soup and nap. After a few more texts to let her know I was still going to the dance, I sent her a “good luck” and a smiley face. She seemed content that I was actually fine and let me get to my nap. Instead, I pulled my Bears shirt out of my backpack and softly cried into it on the couch until night came.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Eleven (Starlight)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I believe we are now at the halfway point in the story. Thank you all so much for showing support all this way. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving (or a good Thursday for anyone not in the US, haha).</p><p>On a different note, would anyone be interested in a playlist I made for this story? Maybe it's cheesy, but I was wondering what North Star's soundtrack would be like if it had one like the Twilight movies and have been working on one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Eleven (Starlight)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>At some point during the night, I realized I had fallen asleep on the couch with the shirt wrapped around my face. I peeled it off and cringed that it was stiff with dried tears. The clock in the living room showed it was after one in the morning. Groaning, I made my way to my room and tossed the shirt into the laundry room along the way. I kicked off my jeans and found a baggy t-shirt to wear to bed. I didn’t want to bother with anything else. The cool sheets were soothing at least. I wasn’t especially tired, but I needed to force myself to sleep. I knew what sleep I did get on the couch definitely wasn’t restful and I needed to be up and ready to prepare myself for the dance.</p><p>I woke up on my own around nine. I was groggy, but scooted myself out of bed anyway. I noticed my phone on the floor. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I was changing last night. The little light was flashing and I braced myself for the messages I had. There were several worried texts from the group asking if I was okay. Zach sent a few pictures of particularly cute dogs to cheer me up. I let them know I was awake and fine. Despite wanting to be as honest as I could with them, I didn’t know how I could tell them the reason for what happened to me yesterday. Tears stung my eyes as I recalled the nightmare. Even on the other side of the country, he still managed to ruin the things I desperately wanted.</p><p>The other notifications were from Jo. She sent me a selfie standing outside on a temporary stage on the football field. It was dark and gray and she looked cold. A message after the photo assured me I wasn’t missing anything; it had been super lame and started to sprinkle rain before they sang. She went on to ask me how I was doing and hoped I was excited about the dance. I quickly let her know I was alright and getting ready for tonight. With the dance on my mind, I made my way to run a bath and soak while listening to my usual bathtime mix of classical music. I felt marginally better now that I was softer and strawberry scented. I slipped on some loungewear and went to air out my dress. It was beautiful and I tried not to think of how much this cost Aunt Rose. Floor length, with a sweetheart neckline and draped sleeves… I imagined this being twirled around at a royal ball. I actually was scared for a minute that it was a fullon ball gown, but was relieved it wasn’t that large. Tiny rhinestones were artfully dotted in swirls around the bodice and fell gracefully to the skirt, where they spaced out into a gradient of solid color. The fabric of the entire dress was a dark, rich blue. The shoes and jewelry were silver, to match the glittering stones on the dress. I imagined myself wearing it, walking around under a starry sky, and wondered what Jo would think of it. Would she think I was pretty? I shook my head and marched to the kitchen to make myself a big breakfast to make up for my missed dinner last night.</p><p>An omelette and an orange later, I decided to kill time by watching as many princess movies as I could sit through. Pitiful heroines rose up time and time again to live out their fantasies in dresses like mine in grand ballrooms. When I stood up after what felt like an entire day to see it wasn’t much later than noon, I fell back to the couch. This was going to be a long day. An impulse had me walking out the back door and heading for the blueberry bush clearing in the woods. Before I even walked through the trees to the actual clearing, I heard Jo laugh.</p><p>“I had a feeling you’d end up here.”</p><p>I was spooked. How had I not noticed her there? I should have heard her, picked up on her scent... something. Was I really not paying attention that much?</p><p>“I guess I just can’t keep myself away. It’s really peaceful out here.”</p><p>Jo smiled up at the canopy of leaves above us. “It really is.” There was a moment of silence, peaceful quiet in each other’s company. I didn’t feel awkward with her here right now. I loved this feeling. Eventually, Jo walked over to me and closed our distance. “Are you all ready for the dance?”</p><p>“Yeah, I have everything laid out. What about you?”</p><p>She looked shy, but still wore her bright smile. “I think so. I’m not used to dressing up this much. It sucks that Will doesn’t know how to do hair. Not sure what I’m going to do with it.” She fiddled with the ends of her hair, sighing. “Are you going to wear yours up or down? It looks like your hair has grown out just enough to do it up, yeah?”</p><p>“It what? What do you mean ‘grown’?” I reached up to my hair and ran my finger to the end. That couldn’t be right.</p><p>“It means exactly what it means, goober.” She laughed. “It was just above your shoulders before school started. Do you not like it long? Probably time for a trim if that’s the case.”</p><p>I pulled at my hair more frantically. She was absolutely right. My hair had somehow grown. It was brushing past my shoulders now, coming down over my collarbones. This shouldn’t be possible. When I sliced my hair off, it was with the knowledge it would be permanent. I was supposed to be done aging, frozen in place for centuries like my family. Although there were only five hybrids in existence, the one I had met as a child was confident we stopped aging around this time. Maybe he had been wrong. There were only five of us, after all. He couldn’t know everything about how we work. No one did. However, a feeling in my gut told me this wasn’t the right conclusion.</p><p>I realized I hadn’t said anything and a concerned look was forming in Jo’s jewel-like eyes. “That’s right. I hate it getting long.”</p><p>Her smile came back. “That’s okay. It’s a quick fix. I can even do it for you if you want it done ASAP?”</p><p>“I’ll be okay until after the dance. But thank you. You really are an angel.”</p><p>Red bloomed on her cheeks. “An angel…?”</p><p>Damn. I said that out loud. My face grew hot. “Anyway!” I turned on my heel and started walking back home. “I’ll see you at the dance. We’re all going to meet in the front courtyard and walk in together at eight.”</p><p>I tried to start running, but Jo reached out and caught my wrist in her hand. I couldn’t turn around, certain my face would give too much away. She slowly let go and chuckled under her breath. “At least your ‘fever’ is gone. Last time I touched you, you were on fire.”</p><p>I held back a gasp. Without responding, I dashed back to my house and flew through the door.</p><p>My heart was pounding. I was so careless now. It was frustratingly out of character for me. What else would I have just told her given the chance? I needed to get a hold on myself. I also needed to figure out why things were so strange with me besides that. My senses were dulling. I couldn’t deny that anymore. I was built to be a predator and I was losing that edge. I was thankful I still had my speed. Running to the bathroom, I stared in the mirror in horror. I knew in my heart what I would find, but it shocked me all the same. My hair was growing. My nails were, too, when I looked down at them to check. I leaned closer in the mirror and saw spots that weren’t there before. Freckles, light and few, but there. My heart rate kicked up and I threw open the medicine cabinet to look for a thermometer. This part had to be a mistake. Naturally, there was not a thermometer. My family didn’t have a lot of reason to check themselves and I hadn’t since I was in my most major growth spurt as a kid by Grandfather. Thinking on my feet, I went to the kitchen and yanked open a few drawers. I held up what I was looking for - a meat thermometer. It would at least give me a ballpark range and give me some peace of mind that I was still my normal temperature. I stuck it in my mouth and let it sit for half a minute, just to give it time to get it right. When I pulled it out, my heart sank. 98.6 could not be right. I put it back in my mouth, willing it to be higher. When I pulled it out a full minute later, it showed 98.8. I felt lost. Everything I had known about myself was changing. I wasn’t supposed to be changing anymore. Was it even possible to be a later bloomer as a hybrid? Would this even be considered “blooming late”? This seemed more like regressing. I was functioning more like… a human.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, evening came. I was glad for the distraction since going back to my movies was not helping. I slipped my dress on and zipped it up, fastening on my accoutrements and giving the dress a twirl. It swished in a satisfying way around my legs. I decided not to touch my hair. I didn’t want to be reminded of this big mystery I couldn’t solve about myself. Tonight was going to be about my friends. I pulled out a clutch purse on a delicate chain from my closet and stuck my wallet and phone inside. Since it wasn’t going to be possible to ride my bike to the school and it would look very out of place to walk there in a gown, I arranged a ride service to pick me up at home and take me there. I ended up walking through the courtyard at exactly eight. Music was already playing and I could hear it from all the way out here. Girls in fancy dresses and boys in sharp suits mingled around and made their way inside. It was exciting. The school I walk into every day suddenly felt magical. I looked around for my friends, but didn’t see anyone. I was sure we had the time and place right. I was about to pull out my phone to check the group chat when someone walked up to me and let out a dreamy sigh.</p><p>“Renna! You are… beautiful. I’m speechless.” Jo was standing in front of me with her hand over her mouth. She was in a gold dress that billowed out daintily around her. This was the most exposed I’d ever seen her skin. The dress was fitted on top with an asymmetrical neckline over one shoulder. Her caramel hair was piled on top of her head in a loose twist and drop earrings sparkled by her face. All she was missing was wings. She was truly an angel.</p><p>“You’re flawless. You should wear gold more often.” She positively glowed. We stood captured by each other like time had slowed down. When someone else brushed past me to move to the door, I snapped back to reality.</p><p>“Where is everyone?” I asked. None of the others had showed up.</p><p>“Maybe they went in already? We could check.” I nodded and Jo started to walk inside, casually taking my hand in hers. My heart skipped a beat and a floaty feeling engulfed me.  Acting brave, I laced my fingers through hers and savored this small moment. The dance was set up inside the gym. The bleachers had been folded up and pushed back and dark cloth hung up over them. The lights were turned down very low and glow-in-the-dark stars dotted the walls. A big paper mache moon dangled from the ceiling and glowed softly. Looking down, I noticed a fog machine was running. If I thought the courtyard was magical, this was otherworldly. Jo dragged my further in and I spotted my group of friends by a punch table. Gabbie saw us first and gave me two enthusiastic thumbs up and a wide grin. I blushed. Gabbie must have set us up.</p><p>We walked over and greeted everyone. Gabbie was in a short, vibrant pink dress that belled out with layers of chiffon. Josh and Zach were in suits with a blue and green tie respectively. Kevin slouched against the table in a pair of black jeans and sneakers like he promised. Despite that, he had a gray button up with a loose fitting black suit jacket anyway.</p><p>Gabbie adjusted a tiara nestled in her hair. “I get that I didn’t get voted for homecoming princess this year, but like, come on. It finishes the look.”</p><p>“Whatever, Your Majesty,” Kevin smirked.</p><p>Gabbie started to look offended, but Zach cut in. “Well, I like it. It suits you.” He held his arm out to her like a prince. “A dance, my lady?”</p><p>I was half afraid Gabbie would faint on the spot, but she managed to follow him out to the dance floor without stumbling. Josh and Kevin just laughed.</p><p>“We’re going to go stuff our faces before the good shit gets swiped,” Kevin said, nudging Josh. “See you around.” They walked over to another set of tables lined against a wall covered in finger foods. Despite not usually having fondness for many human foods, they all looked good to me. Some of the food looked like they were sitting in crystal bowls and dishes. I was pretty sure it wasn’t real, though. Everything already looked expensive enough as it was.</p><p>“Did you want anything to eat?” I asked Jo. She was looking around the gym, wide eyed. The light bouncing off of the rhinestones on my dress cast little rainbows on her face.</p><p>“Probably later. Right now I’m too hyped up. Everything looks so pretty and the music is so loud!” She giggled.</p><p>I could feel the bass of the speakers and agreed. There was a lot of energy here. “Did you want to dance?”</p><p>She turned to face me, still smiling. “Huh?”</p><p>I leaned in closer, inches from her face. “I said, do you want to dance?”</p><p>Her smile dropped and her cheeks flushed pink. “Sure.” The lights in the room make her eyes sparkle and everything in me wanted to reach out and touch her face. We walked slowly to the edge of the dance floor and started swaying to a catchy pop song. Though we weren’t exactly touching, she was still very close. Her natural scent was paired with something sweet and floral - some kind of soap or perfume she must have used. Would it be bad to lean close and touch her arm? Take her hand again? Would she hate it? Questions and doubts swam in my head and we danced to several more songs.</p><p>We paused when a song came on Jo didn’t care for and browsed the snacks. There was a cheese board with little squares of cheeses and meats of different varieties, cocktail shrimp and sausages, cream puffs, and eclairs. And that was just one table. I picked up a cream puff and bit into it. I pulled back, pleasantly surprised. There were bits of strawberry hidden inside. I insisted Jo try one and she leans forward with her mouth open. Did she want me… to feed her? Blood rushed in my head and I held it out for her. She took a small bite and crinkled her eyes in delight.</p><p>“That’s amazing,” she said, turning to find another treat to try. I looked back at my puff. Was this like a kiss? It was almost like our lips had touched indirectly. I could feel how hot my face was as I finished the rest of the pastry.</p><p>After eating our fill and washing it down with some punch, we wandered back to the dance floor. Jo was more confident this time around and moved more freely. She bobbed to the rhythm and swayed toward me, sometimes brushing her arm against mine. During a particularly high paced song, she wrapped her hand around my arm, sliding it down to my hand and taking it in hers. She swung in front of me and took my other hand, too. She kept looking at my face in a way that sped up my pulse. Her eyes were dark and intense, but her lovely smile stayed in place. The music faded then and the lights changed to a pink tone. It was a slow song and for a school dance it was almost sensual. Maybe it was just my imagination. It did tend to run wild around Jo. We were suddenly caught in a new environment, the air around us so much more intimate than a second ago. Couples began moving in and dancing closely. We met eyes for a long moment and slowly moved in closer, nervously fitting into position. She put her hand on my bare shoulder and I shivered. I closed the small gap we had left by putting my hand on her waist. Our free hands intertwined and we turned gently to the music. I was thankful we were in a far, dark corner of the floor. I was burning with embarrassment at such a new experience. I glanced over Jo’s shoulder and noticed we were the only ones dancing so formally, too. Everyone else was positioned in something like a swaying hug to dance. I met Jo’s eyes again and my breath left me. Everything about her was perfect. Her eyes, so deep and intrancing, were focused only on me. We moved further away from the others, moving in slow and steady circles into our own private bubble. Everyone else melted away and this girl in my arms was the only person in the world. I wanted to share everything with her and to have her truly know me. In this rose colored dream, I wasn’t even afraid of that.</p><p>Then, something changed in Jo’s eyes. She muttered my name, “Renna…” breathless and laced with longing. My stomach squeezed and her eyes dropped to my lips. I held myself in place, worried I would ruin whatever spell was being cast on us. She leaned closer, only inches from my face, and her eyelids drooped lower. I closed my eyes as well, not trusting myself to stay still otherwise. There was a second of hesitation, her breath on my face. I wanted to sing and scream at the same time. And then, her lips touched mine.</p><p>It was an explosion of emotion in my chest, a chorus of thunder and lighting in my very soul. Her lips were warm and impossibly soft against mine. It was gentle, delicate, timid. It lasted a lifetime and still not long enough. As quickly as it started, it deepened and her lips were searching mine for an answer. If the question was of my affections for her, I would answer her yes a million times over. She lifted her hands up and went to thread them in my hair, but she stopped short and pulled her lips back, letting out a sharp hiss. I was stunned. Searching her eyes, I saw her trying to look over her arm in the dim light. I noticed then she had cut her arm near her wrist on a cluster of wooden stars set up as a decoration for the room. It didn’t look deep, but blood pearled to the surface of her tanned skin and began to weep down her arm. The aroma was overpowering and the hunter inside me struggled to the surface. It came to me all at once that I had not had blood, any blood at all, since Uncle Emmett took me to feed on the elk over a month ago. I would have been drawn in from an animal’s blood alone at this point. But a human’s blood - warm, fresh, devastatingly appetizing - was impossible to ignore. Before she could say a word, I whipped my hand out and seized her wrist. She jumped, but didn’t look alarmed yet. I pulled her arm up to my face and inhaled deeply. I wanted to drop to my knees. I had never smelled a human’s spilled blood before. My body moved on its own and I allowed my tongue to slide across the trail the blood had made on her arm. She froze then. The feral part of my mind knew I only had minutes of this opportunity left. I reached the cut and placed my lips over it, sucking lightly and lapping my tongue to taste the new drops. Every nerve in my body sizzled and I moaned into her skin. That was when Jo started to shake.</p><p>This allowed a precious moment of clarity. I pulled back and the haze in my head faded. Jo was in shock, her eyes glued to me. Her eyes were glassy and frightened, her mouth dropped open slightly. It looked like she tried to say my name, but she couldn’t make a sound. The rollercoaster of raw, primal emotion plunged to my feet and I was doused in ice. I was mortified, disgusted in myself. How could I have let this happen? I let go of her arm and took a shaking step back. She didn’t move. I took another step, tears stinging my eyes. I could feel her blood smeared in the corner of my mouth and I hated myself more than anything in that moment. I had hurt her. I turned then and ran out the back door of the gym and then blindingly fast back home. My heels had snapped in my retreat, but I still made it back in less than a minute. Tearing my dress over my head, I fell to the ground in my living room and laid there. Petrified. An hour later, my phone chimed and it took all my strength to even look. I had a feeling I knew who it was from. It was a single text. <em> You will tell me everything. Soon. </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Twelve (Transparency)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Poor Renna had her first homecoming. After all the fluffy stuff with her friends, now she can't catch a break.</p>
<p>I love to hear from you guys, so thanks again for the nice comments. The playlist thing is still up in the air if anyone is interested in it? Let me know what you think.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Twelve (Transparency)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn’t bring myself to text her back. I was scared. Even rereading it a dozen times, I couldn’t gather any feeling for the emotion behind it. Was she angry, disgusted, horrified? I knew I was with myself. Never had the impulses from my hunter’s instinct been so strong. There wasn’t even a thought in my mind to deny acting on them. I was used to voluntarily giving myself over to my senses to hunt animals, but this was something else. Fresh human blood was so different, it shocked me. I’ve had human blood as a young child from bags. I even used to bite Jacob as a baby, though he wasn’t exactly a human. This was something else entirely, something terrifyingly intense. If I thought she smelled good this entire time, it paled in comparison to the taste. A sick part of me felt sour that I had only been able to barely coat my tongue in it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Monster.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After hours of laying like a board on the ground in nothing but my underwear and my jewelry, I peeled myself off the carpet and decided to clean up. I didn’t want to feel the memories of tonight all over me. I expected to feel stiffer from being so unmoving for that long, but I didn’t. I piled my discarded dress in my arms and made my way to the bathroom. I shoved it back into the dress back and hung it back on the hook on the door. I turned to reach for the sink and froze. There was still blood dried on the side of my face. My heart felt like lead. That sick part of me spoke up again, urging me to snake my tongue out and taste it once more. I gagged and yanked the faucet on, violently scrubbing my face until it stung. I stopped, breathing ragged, and turned off the sink to stand in front of the mirror in silence. I dared to look at myself again. I expected my cheek to be pink from my outburst, but it wasn’t. It didn’t look like I had done anything at all. Turning my head, my hair caught in the light and almost shimmered. It had not been this shiny earlier and I knew I didn’t use any product on it before the dance. I leaned in and noticed my lashes looked darker and fuller as well. Following a line of thought, I made my way to the kitchen to find the meat thermometer. I let it sit in my mouth for a minute and saw what I was suspecting. My temperature was around 104. Not exactly where it should be for a hybrid, but definitely closer than it had been this morning. This only thing that happened between this was the dance. The blood. Could half a tablespoon of blood really change so much?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My phone buzzed again. Reluctantly, I peeked at the screen. Jo. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tomorrow. Noon. Be at my house. This is not up for debate.</span>
  </em>
  <span> A strangled whimpering sound escaped me. In the back of my mind, I had planned to just not show up for school for maybe a week and hole myself up in my house, doors locked and lights off. I had only known Jo to be a patient person, so to see her acting so assertive was nerve wracking. She must be terribly upset about what happened. Resigning myself to my fate, I dropped my jewelry into a basket on the sink and stepped into the shower to scrub her scent from my skin. It hung on me like the necklace I was just wearing. What a beautiful memory that could have been. I brushed a finger over my lips and a tear slipped from my eye. It was more amazing than I had imagined it would be. Angel-soft lips, warm and inviting. My heart skipped a beat at the thought. I laid my head against the shower wall and let the hot water wash over me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As I expected, I didn’t sleep much. My night was torn between fear confronting her today, horror at what happened yesterday, and brief intermissions of trancelike daydreams of her hands travelling up my arms to tangle in my hair. That she had initiated it threatened to undo me. What was she thinking? How did she see me? The images in my head were so much more real now that I could place actual sensations to the fantasies. My names on her lips, her breath on my mouth, her skin pressed to mine… Heat swirled in my stomach. Though no one had ever explicitly spoken to me about the details of intimacy, I wasn’t completely ignorant to it. The couples in my family were very open with their affections. What I was feeling had to have been part of that, but I didn’t know what to do with any of this. I ebbed and flowed between reveling in the feeling and hating it. All I knew was I had a powerful desire to be touched, but I couldn’t picture exacts. Maybe I was more ignorant about this than I thought. I ended up tossing and turning most of the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I woke up late and stumbled to the bathroom to get ready to face the music. I looked pretty good for not getting any rest. I didn’t even have dark circles. I dressed simply - jeans and a t-shirt - and pulled my hair back into a short, fluffy ponytail. I found cereal to eat that I didn’t even remember ordering, but I guessed I had to be thankful regardless that Aunt Rose had the grocery store make regular deliveries. I couldn’t taste it at the moment anyway. Every minute passed was a minute closer to facing Jo. I made my way to the backyard and tensed. I couldn’t think of a good excuse to cancel. Jo had to know what happened. After what I did to her, it was only right. I made my way slowly to the halfway point between our houses where the blueberry bushes stood. It was close to noon now. As I made it inside the ring of trees, her scent drifted to me. I stared without breathing across the clearing in the dense woods, into the wide eyes of an angel, and she looked timidly back at me. The angel smiled in a friendly way as she stepped forward to greet me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stood locked in place like a boulder, processing what was happening. I assumed she would be furious with me, but here she was smiling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Smiling.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Did she forget what I did last night? Impossible. Perhaps she had repressed it and was due to have a breakdown any minute now. She stopped in front of me and my breath hitched. She fidgeted her hands in front of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to make sure you didn’t chicken out. I was prepared to come get you if I had to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I just nodded, at a total loss of how to respond. When she noticed I wasn’t going to say anything, she gently reached out and took my hand. A tingling firework shot up my arm as she tugged me forward towards her house. It was surprisingly close and I wondered then if the clearing was entirely on her property. I guess I had been trespassing this entire time. I wanted to laugh, but my nerves wouldn’t let me. Jo’s house was similar in style to mine, but white lined with gray stone. Shrubs that looked like fat, little pine trees surrounded the front. I braced myself and we walked through the front door. I swayed in the entryway. The scent of her was so powerful inside her home. I slid my shoes off and followed Jo further in, breathing deeply and sighing. She led me up a flight of stairs and down a hallway to a door with a movie poster taped on the outside I didn’t recognize. When she opened it, I bit my lip. This had to be her room. The aroma was so thick and heavy in the air it made my blood pound in my ears. A horrible thought crossed me then. Now that I’d had a taste of her blood, would I fall back into my instincts and attack her? The scent was so strong here I could almost taste it on my tongue and my mouth watered. I dug my nails into my arm to chase the thought away. I would never allow myself to hurt Jo again, but maybe it was a bad idea to be here like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo gestured to a bed covered in mismatched blankets. “Have a seat.” I did without thinking. Like my inner voice had a megaphone, the thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m on her bed</span>
  </em>
  <span> screamed in my head. She wheeled a desk chair over nearby and sat cross legged, her hands twined in front of her. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am… I okay? Am </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay? Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked confused. “I’m fine. I’m just worried. You ran out on me last night and I… I don’t know. You scared me. What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my hands shaking and wished I had worn a hoodie to stuff my hands in the pocket. I opened my mouth to start explaining, but nothing came out. I shook my head, miserable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it hard to talk about?” she asked patiently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded, avoiding eye contact. How could I look her in the eye when I knew how afraid I was about to make her? She was going to learn I was a monster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I could help.” There was a long pause and I nodded, unsure how this would work. “Does this have to do with the kiss?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My face burned white hot at her words and that she could just say them so easily out loud. I shook my head, knowing how red I must have been then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it about the… blood?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I hung my head and a tear escaped and hit my hand. She made an acknowledging sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You drank my blood.” It wasn’t even a question, just a statement of fact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I started crying now, tears silently falling into my lap. I finally spoke up, my voice breaking on a sob. “I’m… so sorry! I’m so sorry, Jo! You must think I’m a disgusting freak. I hate myself for what I did and I know I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but please understand that I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She cut my words off by moving to sit on the bed beside me and placing a hand over mine. I jerked up and met her eyes for the first time. There was no animosity there. No hatred or disgust. Not even fear. I stared back, wide eyed and in shock. She must not have truly grasped what happened yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think any of that.” Her words were honeyed and warm. “I’m not mad. I just wanted to know what happened. Or why. You can talk to me, Renna. Whatever it is, we can sort through it. You’re only human, after all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it was. She really had no clue. “No, Jo. I’m really not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Human.” She had to know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She laughed a little. “You don’t need to beat yourself up so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m serious, Jo. I’m not a human. Not entirely, anyway.” She didn’t look convinced and I needed to find a way to prove it to her without a hint of doubt. I took a deep breath and lifted up my hand. “Watch.” I placed my hand delicately over her cheek and let visions of my past pour into her mind. She froze, unblinking, as bursts of my life flew through her. My family, my hunting trips, my speed and strength. I let her see as much as I could about who I was before lowering my hand back to my lap and waiting for her to come to. She was frozen solid, staring out at nothing in particular. Any minute now she would ask me to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was that real? I don’t…” Jo shook her head and turned to me. “You’re a vampire?” Her voice was whisper quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only half. I’m a hybrid, one of only five in the world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, my god. You’re a real, actual dhampir.” Her eyes were round with amazement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She blushed then. “It’s the term for a half-vampire? I’m sorry, maybe that’s offensive. I guess you don’t actually use that term then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never heard it before, but I wouldn’t know. Like I said, there have only ever been five.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” she said under her breath. “And you still drink blood. Wait, I’ve seen you eat food.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can have both. Actually, I hadn’t had blood since August. Until…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. You really drank my blood, then. That really happened. Wow.” I waited again for the screaming, but she just blushed more intensely. “Wait.” She looked worried now. “Am I going to turn? How does that work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you won’t turn into a vampire. I’m not venomous.” She looked confused, so I touched her again and showed her memories to explain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Wow. Hm. So you could drink as much as you needed and not turn someone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess so.” I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She held out her arm to me, a thin line near her wrist from where she was cut. “Do you… need it?” She held her arm near my face. “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I swooned, reeling. Gently placing a hand over her wrist, I lowered her arm back down. “No. That’s not something I can do. I don’t need it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. It’s just, well, the way you were acting at the dance. Looking back on it now, you seemed like you did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I dragged my nails across my jeans. “That was completely unexpected. I’ve never been around fresh human blood before. I was caught off guard and acted without thinking. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that. It was so wrong…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wrong to be yourself? I can’t say I agree. You really didn’t hurt me. I was just surprised. Confused. But now that you’ve explained it, I totally understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had to be insane. I hadn’t been around humans for that long and I still knew without a doubt this was not a normal reaction. She was taking this way too well. Was she not scared at all? I just stared at her, dumbfounded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She spoke up again. “So do you…?” She looked embarrassed to finish her line of thought and instead lifted a finger to her mouth and pushed up her top lip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I have fangs?” I pulled up my lip with both fingers, showing her my straight teeth. She looked somewhat disappointed, but I must have been reading her wrong. “None of us do. It’s just a myth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s kind of lame,” she laughed, catching herself. “I’m not calling you lame! But it would be cooler to have fangs, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s easier to blend it without them.” I shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m guessing the sun thing is also a myth, since I’ve seen you outside before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. A full vampire has crystalline skin cells and glistens. A hybrid kind of glows.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s face lit up. “That explains another thing! That day we first saw each other. You stepped into light back in the clearing and this aura of light just surrounded you. I was taking those character pictures then and thought for a minute I had gotten way too into character. You looked like a phoenix. Don’t laugh.” She shied her face away from me, a smile playing on her lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time to put on a brave face again. “I always thought… you looked like an angel then. Before I caught your scent, I thought you might have been another hybrid, like me. But you didn’t have the scent of a vampire at all. I was sure you must have been an angel. Seeing you at school was a shock.” I laughed. “There, you were more drawn into yourself. It was like you had transformed into a nervous little rabbit. I kept finding your scent and being drawn to it. I felt like some sly fox trying to tail you around. This all probably sounds creepy. Vampires can smell blood from great distances, or at least what that blood would taste like. I became attached to you and ended up being sensitive to noticing your particular aroma. Would you take it as a compliment if I told you it was sweet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked back at me, face tomato red. “My blood smells sweet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unbelievably so. You don’t need to worry, though. As long as you’re not actively bleeding, I can control myself. In a way, you’re lucky. For some vampires, there are humans with abnormally strong pulls to their predator instincts. I’ve heard my dad refer to it as a ‘blood singer’ before. If a vampire catches the scent of their singer, it’s over. That human is as good as dead. I’m not even sure if a hybrid can have a singer. I’ve never thought about it before…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo looked wary, but nodded. “Guess I am lucky, then.” She paused. “You mentioned your dad. Is he the vampire or the human?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vampire. Female vampires can’t get pregnant. It’s complicated.” I touched Jo’s hand and showed her an image of my parents.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She jumped a little. “Those are your parents?!” I nodded. “They’re our age.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. Physically, my father is 17 and my mother is a year older. But actually? My father is 112 and my mother is 26.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gaped at me, started to say something, but shook her head. “Your mom is, uh, pretty young for a vampire, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn’t help my smile. “That’s true. Most I know are centenarians.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo had her hands up, ticking off numbers in her head on her fingers. “Wait, I’m not sure the math is adding up here. Not even for a teen pregnancy. Did your mother have you at 11?” She looked ill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh no. “I’m not… actually… 15.” She looked as white as a sheet waiting for me to continue. “Back on my birthday, I actually turned seven that day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She choked on nothing and pounded her fist on her chest to clear her throat. “Excuse me?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, I’ve only been on this earth for seven years, but technically I’m 18. A hybrid grows ridiculously fast for seven years and then stops forever when they reach maturity.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You stopped aging a month ago?” She managed to get her breathing under control.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I thought I did. There’s so much we don’t know about my kind. Yesterday, before the dance, I saw things that shouldn’t have happened. You were right. My hair had grown, which should not have been possible. My skin should also not be able to freckle and it did. And a hybrid’s body temperature runs very, very high, but when I checked it was close to a human’s. This has never happened before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So everything was just reversed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kind of. But not anymore, it seems. When I went home, everything was back to normal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The only thing different in between that then… was my blood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That has to be it. All these weird changes after not having a drop of blood since before school started and then suddenly it’s fixed after last night? I entertained the idea earlier, but hearing you say it out loud just solidifies it for me. There’s no other logical explanation. I wonder if that means if I’d never drink blood again, I would keep changing. I would…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Become human,” she finished for me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Become human. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was that really possible? Was there a chance I could grow old and live a normal life with actual milestones with my friends? I could live in the same area for the rest of my life and never need to move to avoid suspicion. I could go to college, attend weddings and graduations and baby showers. I could live the dream Aunt Rose had always talked about and hold the hand of my lover on a porch swing, gray haired and weathered skinned, in our family home. Would I be okay with a life like that? I glanced at Jo and felt oddly hopeful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure if that’s possible, but it certainly looks like that, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should call your parents and tell them. Maybe they’d know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My heart sank. “First of all, they wouldn’t know anything more than what I do. I was there whenever they discussed it and vampires all have the gift of perfect memory recall. Second… I can’t call them. They can’t know where I am.” Tears sprang to my eyes and I willed them not to fall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t?” Jo scooted closer to me and took my hand. “What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn’t speak. My throat felt glued together. Instead, I used the contact with her hand and showed her more memories. I showed her my family and how starved I was for privacy. I showed her how different I acted then and how close to a doll I was. Then I showed her Jacob. She sat perfectly still until his face appeared in her mind. She jolted then and her brows knitted together. The more I showed her of him, of him planting himself firmly in my life as a caretaker and setting himself up to be my lover, she gagged. I had to pause at some point while she held back little sobs. When she nodded at me to keep going, I showed her the rest. My breakdown, Aunt Rose, my escape, and my new identity. When I was done, her face held the most pitiful look I’d ever seen and she slid into my arms to embrace me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had no idea. I’ll help you any way I can. We’ll get through this. I’m so, so sorry. You are incredibly brave.” She stroked my back and the floodgates came loose. I cried into her shoulder until I lost track of time, letting her warmth and comfort wash over me like Uncle Jazz’s gift once had.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter Thirteen (Sepia)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got some comments asking for the playlist (thank you!) and had my sister help me make one for Spotify (which I don't have) to match the one I made on Amazon Music. She also added four songs to it. So here's what it would be like if North Star had a Twilight saga music soundtrack.</p>
<p>https://music.amazon.com/user-playlists/81ef6e63885f4dff85d005657d66d37asune?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&amp;musicTerritory=US</p>
<p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pYWxEl7rSShNIo2qIvbT9?si=kV3bRdEaSbSn_ynk1IoPSg&amp;nd=1</p>
<p>If you listen to it, let me know what you think.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Thirteen (Sepia)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We sat like that for a long time with me in Jo’s gentle embrace. My tears slowed and eventually stopped, but her comforting strokes along my back didn’t. She waited patiently for me to calm down, not making a sound the entire time. When I reluctantly pulled away, her face was in such a quiet state of pain I thought maybe she wasn’t able to make a sound even if she wanted to. Trying to lighten the mood, I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and sighed.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. That was a lot to throw at you all of a sudden. Not to mention the… vampire thing. Thank you for listening to me.” I dropped my hand.</p>
<p>“Please don’t apologize for that. Like I said before, I’m here for you. I’m just so shocked you were in this situation. You showed me why your parents allowed this to happen, but I just can’t understand… <em> why </em>. Maybe it’s because I’m using human logic here, but I’m speechless. Are all supernatural people like this? Is this normal in that world?”</p>
<p>“This is normal at least in the shifter world. I’ll try to explain what they call an ‘imprint’.” I laid my hand over hers and started showing her another string of memories. I showed her multiple members of the wolf pack explaining to me and my parents what the imprint was. I also showed her how Jacob acted around me.</p>
<p>“Have very many other shifters had this happen?”</p>
<p>I blew out a gust of air. I sent her more images, this time of the imprinted pack members. I started with what would be considered, in my opinion, to be the only “successful” imprint - Jared and his former classmate, Kim. Kim had already had a crush on Jared before the imprint and their relationship started relatively smoothly after. Then I showed her the next in the list - Paul and Jacob’s sister, Rachel Black. While there wasn’t much in the way of issues with this pairing, I had heard in my time spent in La Push that Rachel did not want to move back to La Push from Pullman at all. The only reason she came back was because of Paul. She slept on an air mattress in her childhood home for months, hoping to one day move out of town with him. It was always clear on her face how uncomfortable being there made her. The memories of her late mother haunted her. Even to this day, she hadn’t escaped. They managed to get a small house in the area and Rachel had continued to work from home and bottle up her dreams to stay with the man who imprinted on her.</p>
<p>Now I had to show her the worst of them. I started with Sam Uley and Emily Young. Sam was the first of this pack’s generation to shift. He was in a pretty serious relationship with a girl who ended up joining the pack later on, Leah Clearwater, for three years. After meeting and imprinting on Leah’s cousin, he dropped her like a rock and began stalking Emily around, begging her to be with him. Emily turned him down multiple times, but Sam couldn’t hear a no from her. It drove him insane. Eventually, Emily told him no and Sam lost his temper. He shifted into a wolf and mauled her half to death without thinking about it. While recovering in the hospital, Sam visited Emily and told her that if she didn’t accept him and form a relationship, he might kill himself. Not wanting to responsible for Sam’s suicide, Emily gave up the fight and went along with Sam’s proposal. They were married at this point, but Emily was clearly a nervous wreck. Naturally, she wouldn’t show it around Sam. But I had seen her alone, staring into space with a dead look in her eyes. Every once in a while, I would catch her walking past a mirror and jerk at the sight of the deep, prominent scars across her face. There was a part of me that was relieved for her they had never had any children. I was worried the experience would destroy the poor woman emotionally.</p>
<p>The last and maybe worst imprint with the others was between Quil and Claire. When Quil imprinted on Claire, Emily’s niece, when she was only two years old. Now she was 10 and still being subtly pushed in the direction of inevitable marriage to her caretaker of all these years. Jacob had told me once that Quil was the “best big brother Claire could ever ask for” and that when she grew up she’ll come to trust and rely on him more than anyone she knows. <em> They'll be as happy as Emily and Sam. </em>If that was the case, Claire would never know another moment of true happiness ever again once the imprint was explained to her. I was afraid for her. After I had understood the imprint on me, I couldn’t even stand to look in her direction. Seeing her cling the bottom of Quil’s jacket with her tiny fists set a putrid fire in my gut.</p>
<p>Jo was shaking now and biting into her lip not to scream. I knew her pain so well. “Is there nothing anyone can do to help them?” Her voice shook.</p>
<p>“Not that I know of. All of the members of the pack believe wholeheartedly that this is one of the best things that could happen to them. And the imprintees… I don’t know if they could leave if they wanted to. On one hand, I don’t think the people around them would let them. It would be heavily shamed, I’m sure. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure there’s something the imprint does to them to brand the thought ‘I should be with this person, I have to be with this person’ in their minds. Eventually, it breaks their own wills and leaves them trapped. At least, this is what I’ve seen.”</p>
<p>Jo took a breath and met my eyes. “That didn’t happen to you, though. Is it because you got out fast enough?”</p>
<p>“That can’t be it. I showed you the moment I was imprinted on. I was just born that day, minutes before. I don’t think I had been alive for an hour. And he’s been by me for almost seven whole years. I’ve never told anyone my theory, but I think it might have to do with the fact that I’m half vampire. The only other imprintees have been humans. My vampire side might be protecting me from that, blocking it somehow. I’ve never felt the pull to him at all.”</p>
<p>Jo slid off the bed and moved to the other side of her room to open a mini fridge full of bottle water and juice. “If you actually become human, would the pull start?” She nervously tugged at the cap of a water she grabbed.</p>
<p>I crossed the room in a flash, not caring how much of my hidden side she saw now. She jumped a bit, but didn’t cringe from me when I took the bottle and snapped the cap off with ease. “I don’t know. I’m coming to find out I don’t know much about any of this. I don’t know what I would do with myself if that happened.” A tear trickled down my cheek.</p>
<p>“I will never let that happen,” Jo replied with a surprising amount of force in her voice. “It won’t happen to you. I’ll do whatever I have to to keep you safe from that.” She took a swig of the water and shook her head.</p>
<p>“Jo…”</p>
<p>“I’m serious. If we have to move to the UK and change our names, so be it.” I laughed and Jo cracked a smile. “Too much? Sorry, I just wanted to see you smile. This has been a hard day for you, I’m sure. I almost feel bad for making you come here and tell me everything.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I wanted you to know. Actually, I’ve wanted you to know for a while now. I’ve been completely on my own with this and it’s so freeing to have someone in on it. I can’t even tell Gabbie or the others. No one else can know. Even you’re not supposed to know. If certain people found out, you would be in serious danger.”</p>
<p>“I’d never tell anyone. But, um… who are the ‘certain people’?”</p>
<p>I touched her arm and showed her images of the Volturi, an elite group of very old vampires that were basically our royalty. They made and enforced one very important rule; Never reveal our kind. Violators of any kind were put to death on the spot. They were not known for mercy.</p>
<p>“Oh. That seems very, very serious.” She paled and went to sit back down on her bed, wrapping a puffy comforter around her shoulders.</p>
<p>“It’s alright. They won’t find out. I trust you. Plus, it’s like you said. We’ll get through all this together.” I sat down with her next to her blanket cocoon.</p>
<p>“Together,” she mumbled, lost in thought. Suddenly, she blushed. “Speaking of…”</p>
<p>“Speaking of… being together?” My paint turned red then, too. “Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask. What… did… that kiss mean?”</p>
<p>She hid her face in the blanket. “What did you want it to mean?”</p>
<p><em> Everything. Nothing. Don’t put this on me! </em>“I, uh… well…” My face was positively burning.</p>
<p>“I kind of acted on an impulse. The mood was so… And the timing was just… Ugh. Ever since you said my name in your sleep, back when I found you napping near the blueberry bushes, I’ve been having dreams about…”</p>
<p>“I’ve been dreaming about you since I first saw you,” I blurted out before my brain could catch up with my mouth.</p>
<p>The blanket dropped from her head and she stared at me, her face red. “Renna, I… I really like you.”</p>
<p>“I really like you, too.” My heart was hammering so hard in my chest, I felt dizzy.</p>
<p>“So are we… dating now? Am I your… your… girlfriend?”</p>
<p>My mind was going a million miles a minute. This was everything I had ever wanted. My fairy tale of being able to choose my own path in love was coming true. I had a choice here. I was able to choose Jo.</p>
<p>“Yes. If you want to be.” I leaned closer to her.</p>
<p>“I do,” she said under her breath, closing the gap between us and her lips met mine. This kiss was so much different than the one we shared at the dance. This time it was exponentially sweeter, softer, but more sure. The initial doubt held in the first kiss wasn’t with this one. There was a feeling of pure <em> rightness </em> now. My soul felt light and my heart skipped a beat. I could almost hear a song somewhere off in the distance of my mind. Her scent wrapped around me and I sighed deeper into her. She pulled back slightly, breathless, and slid her hand across the bed to lace her fingers into mine.</p>
<p>“And so the fox caught the rabbit, right?”</p>
<p>A confused laugh escaped me. “What?”</p>
<p>“That’s what you said earlier, wasn’t it? That you felt like a fox stalking a helpless little rabbit.”</p>
<p>Now I laughed out loud. “I don’t remember calling you helpless, but yeah. Something like that.”</p>
<p>“What an awkward rabbit, then.”</p>
<p>“What a weird, naive fox.”</p>
<p>She pouted. “I could say the same about me. I’ve never been in a relationship, either. Unless…?”</p>
<p>“No, I never have. I’ve been consistently single for all my seven years.”</p>
<p>“Seven!” she sputtered, chuckling. “You’re going to have to stop bringing that up. It’s going to skeeve me out too much.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. I won’t talk about how you stole the purity of my innocent lips yesterday.”</p>
<p>Her cheeks flared and she hurled a pillow at me. “Renna! Oh, my god! You literally just told me you’re 18! Shut up!”</p>
<p>I stuck my tongue out and tossed the pillow back, preparing for more to come my way. We spent the rest of the afternoon like that - laughing, smiling, goofing off. For the first time in a long time, my heart felt at home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Deciding when to tell the group about me and Jo was the problem I was currently facing. At lunch on Monday, Jo sat with us. I opened my mouth to speak up and shut it almost immediately. I felt shy, never having been in this situation before. Jo smiled at me the entire time, almost never taking her eyes off me. She held my hand under the table and I knew my face was red, but no one brought it up.</p>
<p>On Tuesday, however, I felt more confident to tell them. Jo sat with us at lunch again and I made up my mind. I was proud of Jo and wanted my other friends to know. I pushed the scared voice in my mind, the one with no hope for normal relationships, down. I sat my tray down and took a deep breath. Zach was the first one to sit after Jo and I took our seats.</p>
<p>“I am so pumped right now. I forgot it was chicken sandwich day,” Zach said, eyeing his tray excitedly. He looked over at me. “How’d I know you’d get the spicy fries, Lava Mouth?”</p>
<p>“Ha ha,” my voice dripped with good natured sarcasm. “Good luck trying to get that name to stick.”</p>
<p>“It’ll catch on. I’m hilarious.” He took a big bite out of his sandwich and waggled his eyebrows.</p>
<p>Kevin slid in next to him, a mountain of fries on his plate and not much else. Josh followed him.</p>
<p>“Kev, you can get them to make you a PB&amp;J. It’s not that big a deal.” Josh was shaking his head.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Kevin sighed. “One of these days they’ll start offering a substitute. Not today, apparently.” He squeezed out a glob of barbecue sauce into a nook in his plate and jabbed a fry in it.</p>
<p>“Maybe sooner rather than later,” I heard Gabbie call to Kevin. She took a seat near me and gave him a catlike grin. “I put in a suggestion to the staff. They seemed interested. Did you ever think to, you know, ask them?”</p>
<p>Kevin sulked down into his chair and ran a hand through his shaggy, black hair. “Whatever,” he mumbled, but he looked appreciative.</p>
<p>Everyone settled down and started digging in. I shoved a fry in my mouth, but couldn’t wait anymore. I was getting too antsy. “Uh… guys?”</p>
<p>They looked up from their food. Jo had a look of understanding and nodded at me in encouragement.</p>
<p>“So, Jo and I… are…”</p>
<p>“Dating. We all knew. You’re not subtle,” Kevin said nonchalantly. My jaw dropped.</p>
<p>“Yes! Oh, my god! Finally!” Gabbie squealed. “I know I promised not to tell, but it was getting stupidly hard to keep it to myself. Congrats!”</p>
<p>Jo turned to me, laughing. “You told Gabbie you liked me?”</p>
<p>“Ohmygodpleasestop,” I rushed out, putting my head in my arms on the table.</p>
<p>“That’s great, though,” Josh said. “You guys are the first to get girlfriends in the group.” He glanced suspiciously back and forth between Zach and Gabbie. Gabbie rolled her eyes, but cast a longing look to Zach before taking another bite of her food.</p>
<p>Lunch went by and we parted ways, heading back to classes. It almost felt like nothing had really changed. I smiled to myself. It was probably because we all started off as friends, anyway. There wasn’t much to change in the first place. Was young love really this easy? Any movie I had watched made it out to be the complete opposite. I was suddenly glad I wasn’t living such a fantastic life like that. Stable, quiet, normal… this is what I wanted now. I didn’t have to try with this new life. Everything was natural and steady. I had heard stories my parents told me of their whiplash romance and it shocked me now. They were so instantly sure of their unyielding love for each other. I don’t even know if I could bring myself to say that about Jo, who I cared very deeply about. I reveled in the luxury of having the time to figure out what love was now. I started my bike ride back home, after a chaste kiss from Jo by the choir door that set my heart alight, and hummed the whole way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter Fourteen (Discovery)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Back from a heavy chapter, haha. The hotel ballroom talked about in this chapter I based off of Heinz Hall in Pittsburgh, PA. When I was a kid, we went to see an orchestra play for Christmas.</p>
<p>Speaking of Christmas, I'm not sure how much updating with happen around this time. I usually try to update on Fridays and I write the chapters on my breaks at work. I have a rare little window of time off now to spend at home. Thanks for sticking with me and being patient and I hope you all have a merry Christmas or Yule or whatever. 😊</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Fourteen (Discovery)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Weeks came and went and we settled into a familiar routine. Not much had changed besides getting to spend more time with Jo. She had been to my house a few times to burn through a TV show she recommended and order food. Most times she picked a Chinese place in the area. It was an amazing feeling to have her in my home, seeing her walk around like she belonged there with me. Occasionally I’d catch her staring at me with a glimmer in her starry eyes and feel our lips be drawn together like magnets, trapped in her gaze. In those moments, everything ceased to be except her. The only things I could feel was her soft lips on my skin and her silky hair in my fingers. Her ragged breathing was a symphony. Every minute spent in her arms was another precious minute I wasn’t milling over new fears popping up, especially the fear of developing the imprint link the more human I appeared. Though it had been weeks since dance and the last time I had had any blood, I felt nothing. Not even an inkling of a connection. I was still nervous about it, though, and probably would be until I could find some way to gain closure from the whole thing. But how would that even work for something basically magical?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We had been practicing Christmas songs in choir now, preparing for the big school pageant. Families of the students were invited and it was going to take place in a grand ballroom of a fancy hotel in a city near Honeycomb. It sounded unbelievably fantastic. Even the students who shrugged off the fineries of the homecoming dance as something normal and boring were caught up in the excitement of the pageant. There were people who I didn’t talk to on a regular basis telling me how amazing this event was. Josh spent twenty minutes at lunch one day painting a very vivid mental picture of the parties of years past, as his and Gabbie’s older cousin would invite them when she was in school. The carpets in the lobby were red and the fixtures were all gold. Waiters in suits brought around hot chocolate in whimsical shaped glass mugs. A twenty-five foot Christmas tree stood sparkling and decorated in twinkling bulbs and tinsel. I had no doubt in my mind if Josh was ever turned, he would end up with the same power that I had. My smile faltered for a split second at the thought that I could never tell him, but I quickly perked back up watching his animated display of excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The entire place smells like Christmas, too. Just like the pure essence of Christmas,” Josh said with a flourish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It all sounds amazing,” I smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie nodded. “I’ll admit, it really is. If you weren’t in the Christmas spirit before walking into that building, you damn well will be when you do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin groaned. “Halloween is this Thursday. Can we not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not what?” Josh asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not be hyping up freaking Christmas right now! Is nothing sacred?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zach laughed, a rich sound. “I’m inclined to call you a Scrooge, but I kind of agree. Let’s hold off until at least November. So, anyone doing costumes to school?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Josh opened his mouth to protest, but Gabbie cut him off. “Oh, you better believe it! Me and Josh have something really funny planned. It’s going to be hilarious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay, it is pretty awesome,” Josh conceded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bringing out the robot again?” Gabbie asked Zach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup. It’s tradition at this point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I gave everyone a confused look and Zach laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess you wouldn’t know. I wear this shiny silver jacket and stick gears on my face every Halloween. I guess it sounds kind of lame out loud, but it’s an inside joke. I’m going to go to college for robotics.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not lame!” I gave him an awed looked. “I love that. It’s so you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway, what about you? Are you the costume type?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I didn’t know if I was, honestly. Halloween was almost like any other day growing up. We didn’t particularly decorate, save for some tasteful pumpkins around the house for fall. No trick-or-treaters ventured out the road to our house. Only once had I seen anyone dress up for Halloween and I was pretty sure it was a coincidence; Aunt Alice had worn a sequin dress around the house one year.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo said she has something planned for me. You know how she gets.” We all laughed. Jo had gotten a lot more comfortable sharing her hobbies with everyone as time went on. She had even sewn her own costumes for renaissance faires before, which I hadn’t known when she told everyone. When she showed the table a picture of her dressed as an elven princess and everyone gasped in amazement, I swelled with pride.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course she does. Shoulda known.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s also unhappy with the lack of decor in front of my house and will be correcting that after school.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie swiveled in her seat to look to where Jo was sitting. Her brother was eating in the cafeteria today, so she was sitting with him. Based on the words I could pick up from across the room, she was going over what she was bringing to my house and he was nodding politely. “That seems about right, too. Have fun hauling it all over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After school, I got a ride to Jo’s house from her brother, Will. I was lucky my bike fit in the trunk of his car. We headed inside and the familiar scent of Jo engulfed me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You girls can go ahead and start rummaging through the basement. I’ll start some food. Renna, do you like tacos?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, that sounds great.” It actually did. I seemed to have more of a palate for human food every day. I tried not to think about what that meant at that moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He clapped his hands once. “Perfect. You know where to find me, then.” He made his way to the kitchen as Jo took my hand and led me to a staircase. Her baggy sweater swallowed both of our hands as we walked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, we’ve got a lot of neat stuff down here that would be cute. There should be a box of big, plastic pumpkins somewhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I went along with her, savoring the heat of her skin on mine and the tingles it sent up my arm. She set me to work, having me zip around and read the labels on the boxes on one side of the large room while she searched the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I heard her laugh and turned. “It’ll never get old seeing you do that! You’re like the Flash.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Being half-vampire has its perks.” I shrugged with a smirk. “Anything over there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I got distracted. Come look, though. I found a chest of books my mom’s collected over the years. Look how cool they are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo was bent over a large chest full of books of every size. Some looked to be very, very old. The aroma of weathered pages wafted into the air. She pulled a leatherbound book out and held it up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All of these books are about folklore and myths from around the world. She travels all the time to learn about the stories of all these different cultures and teaches what she knows as a professor. My dad, too, but he doesn’t focus on the same subject matter. Maybe you could tell me if any of this is real?” Her face was lit up and she bounced on her toes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, maybe?” I took the book and flipped through it. “I’d probably only be able to verify vampire stories, though. I wouldn’t know about much else. I’m not entirely sure if much else exists or not.” The book showed stories of creatures closely resembling zombies and I shook my head. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be much help with this.” I flipped through more pages, scanning the words faster than Jo could keep up. Devils, demons, imps, goblins… I shut the book unceremoniously. “Nope. Got nothing for that book.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo pouted. “Damn. Well, maybe we need to find a more specialized book. Something you would know. I know my mom had stuff from the west coast in here. Maybe you’d see someone familiar in there?” She laughed. After digging around and setting book after book on a desk nearby, she pulled out a small book that looked like it was about to fall apart. “Here! It’s mostly about werewolves, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I held back a flinch and took the book from her. It was old and I noticed the words were all handwritten. There were some diagrams and pictures drawn in, as well. After a brief look, I sighed. “I wouldn’t know much about this, either. The wolf pack I grew up around weren’t actual werewolves. They’re shifters. This book is talking about the real thing. We know them as the Children of the Moon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, there’s a difference?” Jo’s eyes were huge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. But there aren’t very many true werewolves left now. The Volturi wiped them out. They’re entirely extinct in Europe and Asia. I heard that they have the power to completely destroy a vampire and the Volturi couldn’t allow them to live knowing that. Too much of a risk. The ones that might still exist elsewhere are few and far between. If they exposed themselves, it would be a huge liability. These people can’t control when they shift and basically go crazy. Plus, they look like big, humanoid wolf people. It would be chaos if someone saw that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I showed her a drawing and she gasped. “This is real?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Technically. Like I said, very rare. Basically unheard of now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took the book and flipped further into it. “The notes in here say the particular people interviewed for this information lived on the north of the coast. That’s where you’re from, right?” I nodded. “This also says there was a small group of werewolves in the area.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re solitary by nature, but I guess that could be true.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She flipped a page. “Ooh. They terrorized the villages in the area. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vindictive.</span>
  </em>
  <span> They burned down farms and fought a lot. And they used… magic?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The first part sounds par for the course, but magic? I don't know anything about that. I guess what affects the shifter pack is a kind of magic, so maybe this could be true. I’ve never heard of that.” I leaned over her shoulder to see the book. The pages were loose and deeply yellowed around the edges. The words were forgein, but notes in a different color ink in the margins translated the text. A title caught my eye. “What is that part?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘Curse of Will’. There’s a few pages on this.” She flipped back and forth in the book. “The werewolves went through villages quickly and needed to drift to new places often for food. That would be… people?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would be correct. And not just the blood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah. Well, then. So, they needed to find new places to go and found an area in the far north to occupy. They were shocked to find a group of beast men already there, but these beast men were different. They could control their wills and decide when to change into a wolf on their own. Their forms were not abominations. They lived in groups of families in peace. The werewolves were not able to have children of their own and were outraged with jealousy. They tried to tear apart the village, but they fought back. They were consumed with the need to punish the beast men for having what the werewolves could not. Free will. The werewolves gathered to cast a dark magic on the beast men to ruin what they cared about the most - their love. A deep curse was placed on them, taking away their ability to choose their own mates. When appearing before a human destined to bear the curse as well, the magic would consume them and force their minds to have no other thoughts than her. The pairings would be doomed. Free will would be stripped of the beast men under this curse and their bodies would only move in accordance with the human. Their hopes and dreams would be gone. Only her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I lost my footing and crashed into a pile of cardboard boxes. I didn’t even try to right myself. “Jo. That is the exact definition of an imprint. This is talking about imprinting. Is this talking about Jacob’s family line specifically?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo looked shocked. She leafed through more pages and a crease formed between her eyebrows. “I can’t tell. It doesn’t name anyone or any group specifically, but it is the area they would be at, right? The northwest coastline. Are there other ‘beast men’ in that area?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. Just his family. They’ve lived there for generations. I… I can’t believe this. They only ever talk about imprinting as the most amazing gift that can happen to you. Is it really actually a </span>
  <em>
    <span>curse</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Are they living a lie?” I felt sick. Why wouldn’t they know about this?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, my god.” Jo helped me up and put an arm around my shoulders. After an uncomfortable amount of silence, she spoke up. “Maybe… this could be a good thing? Curses can be broken. We just need to figure out how to break this one. There must be a way. Maybe we can save all those people you told me about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Curses can be broken. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It sounded right. I wanted to believe it with all my heart. To be free of this constant fear, once and for all, would be a dream come true. And I could also free Emily… and Claire especially. I wasn’t sure how much the other couples would change, but at least they could decide for themselves then if they truly wanted to be together. My heart was beating wildly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there anything else about this? Does it say how to break the curse or even how it was made in the first place?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo picked the book back up and handed it to me. I went through it twice. “Dammit. It’s so vague. All it says is they got together for this big ritual and then the curse happened. And the picture doesn’t help much, either.” On the page was a drawing of bulky figures with pointed ears arranged in a circle, raising their hands towards a glowing shape above them. I couldn’t place the shape no matter how hard I stared at the image, but something else caught my eye. On this page, around the werewolves, were very distinct landmarks. The way the cliffs hung over the ocean in the background, the obvious shape of James Island off in the distance… “Jo, this is definitely La Push. How would we break the curse from the other side of the country?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo took the book and ran her fingers over the page. “Maybe we could break it here? I don’t know how these things work. I’ve only known this kind of thing was real for a month, Renna.” She gave me an awkward laugh, but it died out in her throat. “I’ll need to call my mom and see if she has any more material on this ‘legend’. I’m willing to bet if she does, it’s locked in her office at the university. She’d have to be the one to get it for us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And she is where again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Austria. Until just before Christmas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great.” I slumped down further onto the floor and Jo shook my shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll be okay. There’s nothing here that says anything is time sensitive. This gives us more time to plan. We just have to play the waiting game for my mom is all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess,” I sighed, tired now. Nothing could be easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t mope. Here,” she said, sliding closer and angling herself over me. I stared up into her mischievous eyes. “Want me to take your mind off it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She lowered her face to mine and gently peppered my jaw with soft kisses. She trailed down along my neck and started moving a hand along my hip and up my side. My entire body combusted, sparks shooting through my stomach. It was dizzying how quickly she affected me. She moved her mouth back up now, reaching my ear and biting down slightly on my lobe. A tiny moan escaped my lips and I flushed at the sound. I could feel her smile against my skin. As her hand slid under my shirt, the basement door creaked open and we both startled. Jo leapt off of me faster than I’d ever seen her move and dove her head into a box nearby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything’s ready!” Will called down to us.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What I could see of Jo’s face was burning red and her voice was shaky. “Okay! We found the stuff!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shot me a look and we both laughed. We both hauled up boxes and made our way to the kitchen to stuff our faces with food. Even though it was frustrating we hadn’t gotten all the information we needed, we did get some. I was at least grateful to know more about what had happened to me as a tiny baby - warm by the fire despite the cold arms of Aunt Rose and looking into the eyes of a wolf. As the night went on and Jo and I set up jack-o-lanterns and hanging ghosts all around my yard, I felt better about what we had learned. We had a where, a who, a why… we just needed to know exactly how. Jo was right. We would get through this together.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter Fifteen (Frightening)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for being patient, guys. I was right that I didn't think I was going to be able to put anything up for Christmas. I also had my birthday that week. (Yeah, I have a birthmas. Woo.) Anyway, new year, new chapter. Thanks as always for the lovely comments and all the kudos. You guys are great. Happy 2021!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Fifteen (Frightening)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just toss it in, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo was riding on the front of the shopping cart I was pushing down a seasonal aisle at a local grocery store. After decorating my front yard to her spooky satisfaction, she had asked me what kind of candy I had gotten to hand out for trick-or-treaters. When I gave her a confused look, she made plans to drive me to the store after school the next day to correct that problem.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, act a little more enthused. The streets around our houses get a lot of traffic on Halloween. You need to be prepared for anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I crossed my arms on the cart handle and set my chin on top, lazily scooting along. “And I just ask what they want, or what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just set it all out and the kids will figure it out. I think you’re underestimating how much you’ll like seeing it all. There’s something about seeing swarms of little kids in wacky costumes bobbing up and down the street that fills you with the Halloween spirit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really like kids, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hell, no,” Jo said with a bright smile. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t find ‘em endearing every once in a while. It’s kind of like owning a pet ferret? Maybe I want to hold it or give it a treat if I’m at a friend’s house, but I’d never want to keep it in my house forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A laugh burst out of me and I stared at Jo incredulously. “That was unexpected.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the truth. Just cold, hard facts, ma’am.” She leaned over the cart and tapped my nose with her finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A smile spread across my face at her touch. “I think I’m the same, though. I’m not sure how my parents even got by with how young they’re both frozen at. I wouldn’t want that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds terrible.” There was a lull in the conversation and before I could sigh, Jo jumped. “Got a text.” She held her phone up. “From my mom! She says she does have another book in her office. She’ll bring it home when she comes back from Austria. She has to stop there to pick up some papers, anyway. It all works out. We just have to wait until Christmas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I let out my sigh then. It was exciting that Jo’s mom had more material about that legend, but it would be hard to wait that long. Jo was keeping up a great front of patience for all of this. I knew she was just as excited. When she called her mom yesterday and asked her if she had any other books about the werewolves of the pacific northwest and she said yes, Jo just about exploded. Jo’s mom didn’t remember exactly what else was in the book she had, but she said there was an old journal similar to the one in the basement we read. I was trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I couldn’t help it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, this should be enough. What do you think?” Jo asked, shoving her phone back in her pocket and gesturing to the many bags of candy in the cart. We picked out a decent variety. There were Tootsie Pops, gummy worms, several different tiny chocolate bars, sour hard candies, and little bags of cheese balls. There was even a package of sticky hand toys for kids with allergies. Jo assured me this was the top tier prize to give out in lieu of food treats. She was so confident, I didn’t question it at all. This girl was an expert on Halloween festivities. We wheeled over to the checkout area and hauled all of our bags to Will’s car in one trip. Jo drove me home after swinging through a drive-thru, needing to get the car back to her brother soon. After a lingering kiss through the driver’s window, Jo drove away and I made my way inside to unload the candy into three oversized serving bowls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Halloween finally arrived, I felt hesitant to walk into school wearing my costume. Jo had dropped it off the day before and told me it was perfect. When I unfolded everything to hang them up on my door, my jaw nearly dropped. She had arranged for me a classic vampire costume, complete with a cape and plastic fangs. I was instructed to dab some red lipstick in the corner of my mouth to finish the look. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope this isn’t offensive, but I think it would look really good on you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jo had told me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Plus, who better to pull off this kind of look?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Honestly, I was more worried it would upset her to see me like that, after what I had done to her at the homecoming dance. She was so excited, though, that I couldn’t deny her. I pulled my cape around myself and shuffled into the building.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was relieved to see that a lot of the students were also wearing costumes today. I even spotted a few other “vampires”. The students who weren’t in costume seemed to be wearing at least something seasonal. There were a lot of students in black. One girl wore a knit sweater with pumpkins dotted around it. I wondered if this was normal everywhere or if Honeycomb just really liked Halloween. I was more confident going through the day and by the time lunch rolled around, I was delighted. Most of the classes I had already had were significantly more relaxed today and I had gotten compliments on my outfit by a few of my classmates. The cafeteria had a big, paper skeleton hanging by the lunch line and pumpkins sat on some of the tables. I grabbed my lunch, picking a little pudding cup with gummy worms hanging out of it for dessert, and walked to my usual table. The twins were already there and Gabbie lit up when she saw me approaching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Josh, get up! Hurry! She needs the full effect!” Gabbie yanked her brother up by his arm and he shook his head humorously. They were both wearing matching purple bodysuits with gold letters in a big triangle on their chests. Gabbie bumped her fist against Josh’s and gave me an expectant smile. There was an awkward silence and eventually Gabbie dropped her hand and shot me a frustrated look. “Renna! Hello! We’re the Wonder Twins!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had no idea what that meant, but I tried to play along. “Of course you are! I was just surprised how awesome you guys look.” I held up a cheesy thumbs up and hoped she bought it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, finally someone with taste! Thank you!” She bought it. I stifled a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabs, nobody here is old enough to get your weird references to the 70’s. Not even </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Zach took a seat at the table, gears glued in place on his forehead and cheeks. He had silver spray color in his dark hair to match his jacket. This must have been the famous robot costume he told me about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least I work hard to bring something new and exciting to the table every year, Mr. Roboto.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a classic. Never mess with the classics. People love my getup!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, let me at least enhance your classic look, then.” Gabbie pulled a small eyeshadow palette from her purse and leaned close to Zach, swiping a streak of metallic silver across his cheeks. It sparkled in stark contrast to his deep complexion. “There, now you… look…” Gabbie’s words faded away and she locked eyes with Zach, who was also speechless. It seemed she had just realized how close she was to his face. Hers turned a bright red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what’s all this?” Kevin called from the other side of the table, taking his seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie launched herself back into seat and Zach straightened up his back, coughing into his arm. I noticed how flustered he looked, too. I smiled to myself, hoping they would get the courage soon to admit their feelings for each other. After realizing my own for Jo, it was so easy to recognize it with those two.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin shook his head, sighed, and looked at me. He eyed my costume and smirked. “Jo has a sense of humor, I see.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The jokes about Kevin and me being vampires came to mind and I laughed. “Didn’t want to join me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m always in costume according to these clowns,” he said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder to point to the others. Kevin was wearing his usual attire today - chains jingling on his black jeans, checkered sneakers, and severely chipped, black nail polish. He always stood out in a crowd. Not many other students wore anything similar.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I like it. Don’t change for anyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pink tinted his cheeks and he ducked his head quickly so his hair fell further in front of his face. “Sure.” I almost felt bad for embarrassing him if it wasn’t so rare to get this much of a reaction out of him. My smile fell from my face, though, when I noticed he started shaking. I reached a hand out to apologize, but he lifted his face then and looked horribly irritated. I flinched back. He raked his hand through his hair, rolling his eyes before he pounded his fist on the table and started rummaging through a deep pocket in his pants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kevin…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Josh turned to face us then. “Oh, that sucks. Just let it happen, Renna. He can’t really explain right now. He’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, what? What’s going on?” My heart rate spiked and I looked over at Kevin. A low sound like a cross between a groan and a wheeze escaped his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get him a cup of water,” Zach announced casually, walking to a table by the salad bar to get a styrofoam cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin pulled a small device out of his pocket and plucked his lip ring out, slapping it down on the table. He stuck the device in his mouth and by the time Zach came back, Kevin was breathing steadily again. He took the cup from Zach, muttered a thanks, and swished the water around in his mouth, spitting it back into the cup. I looked at the exchange in stunned silence. Everyone else looked completely calm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright. I’m sorry I scared you,” Kevin quietly told me. I just stared back at him, unsure what to say. “I guess I’ve never had an attack around you before. Don’t worry, it freaked them out too when they first saw it. But I’m really okay. It’s just really annoying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What… was that?” I was unbelievably lost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have asthma. Have you never seen an inhaler before?” He held it up and I shook my head. “Wow, you really have been sheltered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A new dread came over me and tears sprang to my eyes. “Did I cause this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tilted his head. “By complimenting me? You’re not that powerful, Dracula. My allergies have been pretty bad recently since it’s getting colder out and it was bound to happen sooner or later. You just have bad timing.” I was treated to another smirk and I relaxed a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin picked his ring off of the table and fastened it back on his lip. I pointed to the little ring. “Didn’t that hurt to yank it off like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave me another confused look. “Nope. It’s not real.” He pulled it off and on in quick succession. “My parents tolerate my aesthetic choices, but only if nothing is actually permanent. I work pretty hard to keep up my stone cold reputation, but it’s not easy when you’re an asthmatic named </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kevin</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I couldn’t have at least had a more mysterious name.” He sighed dramatically. I had a feeling he was putting on more of a show here to make me feel better. He was usually so quiet. I realized then what a good person Kevin was deep down. He genuinely cared for his friends. I was caught up in a wave of emotion with how much love I had for the people around me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lunch let out and I headed to choir. Jo was thrilled with how my costume looked on. She bounced on her toes and inspected me all over, earning a deep blush from me. She was in a cute outfit with a loose, green top. She told me it was a character from a game she grew up with, but she mostly just wanted an excuse to wear elf ears to school. After school, Gabbie lined us up in front of a cornstalk bundle decorating the courtyard and asked someone passing by to take our picture. She promised me she would print a copy for me when I asked her. I pedaled home, my cape flying out behind me. Kids would start walking around looking for candy in just a couple of hours. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sat on my porch with the gate to the yard propped wide open. I was suddenly very grateful for Jo taking over my decorating. I would have felt naked out here without it, seeing how festive some of my neighbors houses looked now. The children made their way through the streets, more and more appearing like magic around the area. Not long after it started, there was a bustling sea of people talking and laughing. Jo was right. My heart did feel warm seeing how happy these kids were to get treats. It was bittersweet, though. The thought came to me out of nowhere and stayed with me the rest of the night; I would never be able to actually experience this. I aged out of the event before I even truly knew what it was. I never really had the chance to be a child, in any way, shape, or form. Even if I didn’t grow up completely isolated in a house full of perfect vampires, I still sped through my growth too quickly to have even enjoyed or experienced these moments. Fate had robbed me of my childhood. I cleaned up the bowls after the evening ended, all cleaned out and not a single piece of candy left over. Even the little sticky toys were almost gone. I was surprised how many kids needed one instead of something edible and I thought back to Kevin earlier today. There was so much I didn’t know about the world. The stars were bright that night and made myself smile up at the sky. At least now, on my own, I’d have the opportunity to learn.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter Sixteen (Cornucopia)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, everyone. Sorry about disappearing for a bit. I've been really worn down at work lately and haven't been able to write a lot. I've been doing 10 hours shifts every day. My process is I usually write during my breaks at work, but I've been so tired I just end up zoning out. Then I get home and go right to bed. It's been exhausting and next week is going to be the same. I managed to get this chapter out for today somehow. I just wanted to let everyone know this story is still going and definitely not dropped. I have the plot planned for this until the end, but it might be slow for a little while here. Thank you for the support.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Sixteen (Cornucopia)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Days seemed to fly off of the calendar after Halloween. There was a very clear sense of a lull in excitement in the neighborhood. Strings of purple and orange lights were taken down from railings and fences, jack-o-lanterns were replaced with solid pumpkins, and figures of witches and ghosts were packed away. The air seemed more still now, quieter. I started going on walks in my free time at home during this time. It was so peaceful that I could hear the leaves gently scuttling along the sidewalk as I went by. It was hard to believe how much had gone on here so recently and how animated the streets were. I watched one day on my usual walk as a woman hung a flag outside her home with an image of a cornucopia on it and realized another holiday my family didn’t truly acknowledge was coming up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As no one in my family ate actual food, Thanksgiving was an odd concept in our home. Aunt Alice didn’t remember any of her time as a human and therefore held no love for the holiday. Uncle Jazz and Uncle Emmett remembered vague glimpses of past Thanksgivings in their human lives, but didn’t have strong feelings either way for it. Uncle Emmett told me once his large human family used to struggle to stay fed on a normal day, so a huge feast on Thanksgiving was hard to come by. Aunt Rose’s Thanksgivings were an unusual, glamorous affair meant to show off to others, but she never cared to replicate anything as a vampire. Grandfather was not born or raised in the US, and therefore didn’t hold a particular attachment to the day other than for quiet reflection in the company of his new family as a vampire. Mom, having an unconventional childhood with a wishy-washy mother didn’t miss the holiday much. She admitted once they’d never really done anything for it, anyway. Dad was like the rest, not remembering much of his human experiences with it, but not being bothered all the same. He did, however, make sure to play a special song on the piano just for me whenever any holiday came around. I guessed that was his own way of acknowledging the day for me so I wouldn’t miss out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grandmother was the only one who seemed to have an interest in anything to do with it as a vampire, but she never went out of her way to celebrate. I’d caught her wistfully sighing while watching cooking programs showing Thanksgiving meal preparations and once she’d asked me when I was little if I’d like a baked turkey that year, but I turned it down. The usual traditions of humans held no meaning to me and the younger I was, the more I detested human food. It would have been awkward, anyway. I would be the only one eating at a table no doubt filled to the edges with steaming food, all eyes on me. I wondered what I was supposed to do now that I was living as a “human”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I got my answer at lunch at school. Josh and Zach were going over their rankings for their favorite dishes - so far, mashed potatoes were winning - and Kevin was quietly lamenting having to deal with distant relatives staying at his place for the weekend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It sucks. They’ll be here from Thursday all the way until Saturday. My little cousin is coming and he always digs around in my stuff. I’m going to have to lock my door the whole time,” Kevin sighed, poking his bowl of tomato soup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess we’re lucky we’re the babies in the family,” Gabbie replied. “But we get a lot of attention from the others. ‘What have you been studying? Have you looked at colleges yet? Do you have a boyfriend?’ It drives me crazy. We are </span>
  <em>
    <span>freshmen</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Grandma! Why would we be looking at colleges?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stifled a laugh. “Seems like a busy day for you, then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is your mom going to be home for Thanksgiving, Renna?” she asked. She gave me a preemptive sad look and I figured it would look very unnatural if I said no.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” I tried to be light about it. “But it will be a small thing. Not as exciting as you guys, I’m sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to switch places?” Kevin grumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’ll be fine. If you can, you can text us and we’ll cheer you up.” I tried to give Kevin an encouraging smile. He slumped down into his chair and sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get to travel for mine,” Zach spoke up. “Sure love being crammed in a car for an hour and back on my day off.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least we get the whole week,” I said. “Just focus on all the other days.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, trust me. I’ve got a brand new PS4 that I plan to be glued to all next week. You guys are lucky I didn’t skip on Friday for the release. Or even today, for that matter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie shook her head. “We all know you’d never just skip school, Mr. Future Valedictorian.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean I didn’t seriously think about it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We all shared a laugh and finished our food. I looked over where Jo was sitting with Will. I wondered what her plans were like for Thanksgiving. What traditions did her family participate in? I reached up and tapped my locket absentmindedly. For the first time, I wished I could have a big, stereotypical dinner with my family just so I could share it with Jo. I’d introduce her to my relatives with my arm draped across her shoulders. Everyone would fawn over how cute we were together and we’d blush happily. When we think we’d have a moment alone later on in the evening and share a kiss in the hall, but learn later that Grandmother had quietly photographed the moment to frame. Jo would be embraced by Grandmother and Mom and Dad would be swelling with pride. Dad would play us a song he wrote on the spot to commemorate the love his daughter found. I snapped back to reality and realized a tear had escaped down my cheek. Thankfully, no one had noticed and I swiped it away casually. For now, these were only far off fantasies. Would there ever be a time where they could become real? I had no idea what to think at this point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie leaned over, eyeing my locket. “What’s in that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In your locket. Do you have a picture in it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo, who had finished dumping her tray and was coming over to walk with me to my next class, heard Gabbie’s question and looked to me with the same curiosity. I nervously held the locket up with one hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um…” It would be suspicious to tell them they couldn’t see it, so I just steeled myself and popped it open. Everyone leaned closer to see better and Jo’s eyes grew wide in recognition. She had seen my parents in visions I showed her and remembered their faces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is a nice picture,” Gabbie commented. It was a photo of my mother and father, holding each other and smiling with an achingly intense aura of love surrounding them. They looked blissfully happy. I hadn’t opened the locket in a long time and seeing them like this, frozen in the perfect moment in time, I felt the pangs of guilt again in my heart. I had no idea how they were doing now. I had been gone for almost three months. I missed my mom and dad and who they were before…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who are they?” Josh asked, bring me back to the table from my thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was at a loss for a moment, still struggling to keep myself together after my quick bursts of pitiful rumination, and words failed me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Her cousins,” Jo answered naturally. She rubbed a hand on my shoulder and relief washed over me. “They were really close. Right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, we grew up together.” A partial truth. Jo’s gaze caught mine and she gave me a look of empathy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Josh squinted, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I can see it. You and him -” He pointed to Dad. “- have the same hair. And the same face as her. You could almost be triplets. Sort of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Totally,” Zach agreed. “Are they coming for Thanksgiving?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, uh… I’m not sure. My mom is the planner for these things, I just show up. You know how it is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Truth,” Kevin mumbled. The bell rang then and we all stood, walking out. I lingered back, threading my fingers in Jo’s and resting my head on her shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. You’re my guardian angel.” I breathed her in and relished the comfort her scent brought me. I could feel the steady thrum of her pulse against my cheek speed up at my comment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anytime,” she said breathlessly. Slowly, she reached up to run her fingers in my hair. My body acted on instinct; My lips found her neck and her breath caught in her throat. I wrapped my arms around her, trailing kisses up to her ear. “Renna…” she whispered. Heat flooded her body and it only encouraged me to keep moving. The warning bell sounded then and I pulled away, sobering at the loss of her warmth against me. Her face was a delicious shade of pink and her eyes were wide and glassy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I just…” I started, gingerly taking her hand again to walk to class. “I couldn’t help myself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo nodded, still starry-eyed, but a smile played at her lips. She kept her eyes on me the entire time during choir and let her lips linger on mine when she kissed me goodbye after school.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Christmas was fast approaching, but at the same time it didn’t feel fast enough. We practiced our pieces for the choir performance twice as hard now and stayed longer once a week for extra time. We were told we needed to make up for the lost time Thanksgiving break took from the group. I held my head high and projected my voice, letting my thoughts wander back to break. I usually didn’t mind any of my classes, but the monotony of choir practice was starting to grate on my nerves. Perfect memory recall was helpful in most scenarios, but definitely not repeatedly singing the same song over and over and over…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thanksgiving break had been nice, though. I let myself mentally travel back to those memories to keep me entertained. I dusted off my Wii and finally played it for myself that week. Zach had gotten to me, I guessed. I discovered an interest in video games and burned through two new games I bought that Monday just to get my hands on more stories. It was like a moving book where I was the main character and it was hard to tear myself away. When I wasn’t playing games, I was cleaning every last inch of the house. Anything to keep my mind away from the book that might have answers about the imprints.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On Thanksgiving Day, I sent my well wishes to the group chat and pretended to be very busy with an undisclosed amount of family members fussing over dinner. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They all came by taxi, so my driveway is empty. It’s almost like we don’t even have visitors,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I texted to my friends. I laughed to myself at my own inside joke. Every once in a while, I would send pictures to them of various side dishes I had cooking on my stove - some vegetables, a pot of mashed potatoes, a covered pot with nothing actually inside. Feeling jovial, I took a cushion from the living room and set it in a casserole dish in the oven. With the light on and the camera on my phone, only the silhouette could be seen. I added a decent amount of emojis to the message and sent it, satisfied with my clever deception. I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes in silence and then reality sunk in. I was completely alone on a holiday about feasting with loved ones and I had a pillow in my oven. I took it out slowly, hugging it to my chest, and spent the next few hours watching holiday specials on TV with a more melancholy feeling sitting in my heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What really picked the week back up again was Jo. At around six, I heard a knock on my back door. Confused, I opened it to find Jo with her arms holding a large food storage container.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured most of that was fake,” she said, referring to the pictures I sent everyone. “So I brought you some actual turkey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was stunned. Jo had been looking out for me when she had her own family to worry about today. Her grandparents had come to see her and Will since their parents were out of the country. I took the container from her, still warm, and inhaled deeply. Even with the lid on, a delicious smell wafted in the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s also stuffing and my grandma’s sweet potato casserole in there.I can’t stay long, but I wanted to make sure you got some real food today. Oh, and this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo threw her arms around me and kissed me, taking my breath away. Despite the cold breeze in the doorway, my body lit on fire with hers pressed against mine. Her amazing, familiar scent surrounded me and made the food smell almost bland in comparison in that moment. I melted into her, savoring her touch. She was concentrated sunshine on my tongue. She pulled away too soon and her face was flushed. The taste of chocolate lingered on my lips. She must have been eating sweets at home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll text you when I get home, then.” She gestured awkwardly toward the direction of her house and swayed on her feet. Knowing I had such a powerful effect on her, as she did me, had my head spinning. I sat the food down on a nearby table and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into the doorway. In one swift motion, I cupped her cheek in my hand and tugged her arm around my waist, claiming her lips again. My mouth found her neck and she held back whimpering sounds, curling her fingers into my sweater. I bit down softly, just barely grazing her skin with my teeth, and her breath hitched. “Renna,” she moaned my name quietly, and moved her shoulder higher to make more contact with me. While I was being careful not to press too much with my teeth, being razor sharp and designed to pierce skin with ease like a true vampire, I hadn’t accounted for Jo writhing so much. Jo let out a tiny squeal just as the sinfully delectable taste hit my tongue. I had accidentally broken skin. I prepared myself to pull Jo away, but she suddenly grabbed the back of my head with both hands and held me firmly in place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t stop,” she said in my ear breathlessly. “You don’t have to… stop… if you want it…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A primal instinct overtook me then and I latched my lips around the small cut on Jo’s neck. My tongue flicked out and wound circles around it, drawing the blood out. The taste was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was somehow even more decadent than when I tasted it at the homecoming dance. There was a chance that was because now, I was allowing myself to revel in this. My mouth and eyes watered, my heart beat in double time, and my hands had minds of their own, running along Jo’s body. She was pressed against the frame of the door now and had abandoned all pretenses of bashfulness, gasping and mewling loudly. A dark, inner voice tempted me to sink my teeth all the way through her neck and it woke me up enough to know this was where I had to stop. I pulled back slightly, licking at the cut to stop the blood from trickling down her shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes were glassy and her face was beet red. Her chest heaved with how heavy her breathing had become. “Renna,” was all she could get out, longing coating the word. I kissed the tip of her nose and ran to fetch a bandage out of the first aid kit in my bathroom, back in the blink of an eye to patch up her neck. A dreamy look had settled on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I… get going… I… should… um…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tucked a golden lock of hair behind her ear and looked directly into her eyes, licking a drop of blood from the corner of my mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for Thanksgiving dinner,” I told her with a coy smirk. Her knees practically buckled, but she composed herself enough to start walking away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I replayed that scene in my head over and over again for the rest of the break. And now, in class it seemed. Choir was over as soon as it began after I snapped back to the present. I didn’t want to make what we did a habit, but I enjoyed the memory this instance gave me. When we were packing up our song books, Jo gave me a quizzical look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were zoning out. What were you thinking about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I reached out for her hand and flashed images of Thanksgiving evening, causing Jo to suck air in between her teeth. “Renna! Oh, my god!” She blushed furiously and bit her lip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, you asked,” I laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slipped out of the room, a smile spread wide across my face. Jo ran after me, trying to catch up, but I could hear her laughing from behind me. I decided to trust Jo and not beat myself up about this. I needed all the good memories I could get, anyway.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter Seventeen (Silent Night)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, it has been a little bit since I've been able to write and that is so sad. It has been impossible to get anything done. I was working ridiculously long shifts (one day I was told to put in five hours after, making a 13 hour shift) and I was so tired I couldn't do a lot of anything expect work and then go right to bed. At some point in there I crashed and got sick for a hot minute. Anyway, I should be back to a "normal" work experience for now (which could change at the drop of a hat, I guess). I apologize to anyone who was waiting for a new update. This will not be abandoned and I will finished this one way or another. I've come too far with this and would be beyond disappointed if I didn't see it through. Thank you for sticking with me. I am so. Incredibly. Tired... (haha).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Seventeen (Silent Night)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Autumn quickly fell away to winter. The first snow of the year floated down and I smiled. Things were close to coming together. Jo’s mother would be back home today in time to see our performance at the Christmas pageant. Not only were we going to get our hands on that book - finally! - but I’d get to see Jo’s face light up when she got to be reunited with her parents. I was living a bit vicariously through her with this. The thought of at least one of us getting to see our parents again was nice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I clasped a pearl necklace around my throat and looked at the finished product in the mirror. The girls in the choir were required to wear our hair up in a tight bun, pearls, and a red dress. Though simple, it looked classy. The guys would match us with suits and red ties. I promised myself I’d enjoy the pageant as much as I could without keeping my mind too focused on the book. This was another precious memory I’d be making. I bit my red lip and let out a forceful rush of breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will picked me up soon after I was finished getting ready and the twenty minute ride over was charged with anticipation. Jo had me go over certain parts of songs we would be singing tonight, despite me assuring her she sounded amazing. Though her knuckles were white from clenching her fists so hard, her eyes were sparkling with excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, look,” Jo said under her breath, pointing out my window. I turned and saw the huge hotel we would be singing in and my jaw popped open. It was incredibly large with white lights glowing softly on every edge and pillar. Holly wreaths hung in the windows and garlands adorned the swirling iron railings leading to the front doors. Even though Christmas was less than a week away, it hadn’t really felt like it was here until now. Josh was right. I was more curious than ever now to see the inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will escorted us inside and we made our way to the ballroom. The lobby itself was enough to make me gasp. The floor was a shining white marble with red rugs in certain areas around the room. On one of them stood a tall Christmas tree, reaching up so high it was almost hard for even me to see the top. The branches were dripping in gold and crystal decorations. How long must it have taken to set this up? Entering the ballroom was like leaving one luxurious world for another. It was a long room, the walls embossed with gold designs of vines and cherubs. A stage was set up on one side where we would sing. At the moment, the baton twirling group was there planning the entrance for later. Tables full of finger foods lined the walls near the entrance. This place made the homecoming dance look like a joke. Delicate pastries, little cubes of steak, sliced vegetables arranged like a rose… my eyes darted from table to table to try and take it all in. In the center was a round table with a tall crystal fountain gently flowing with a red punch and empty glasses all around it. A chandelier dangled above, grandiose and resplendent, casting glimmering dots of rainbows around the room. I looked down at my arm and almost laughed. I looked like a vampire here. I touched my locket under my dress and shook off my wandering thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna! Jo!” Gabbie yelled from across the room. She trotted over to us as quickly as her heels would carry her and gave us a huge grin. Her flouncy green dress swung around her legs as she came to a stop and she adjusted her faux fur bolero. “Don’t you love this? Oh my god, it’s perfect. We have to get pictures later. Oh, and you guys look so cute.” She gestured to our choir uniforms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Jo said, smoothing her dress with her hand. “I almost wish we could have worn what we wanted, though. I hate wearing panyhose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, me too. But you guys are going to look amazing up there. Expect a huge turnout. The hotel made a post on Facebook early this morning and it blew up. The amount of people sharing that thing was insane. No pressure, but people are so excited for this. I think since this is the first year we have danceline here. That was a huge thing listed for the events.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to say we’ll blow danceline out of the water, but I’m honestly interested in seeing them do their routine.” Jo’s tone was full of chagrin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me, too. I won’t even pretend,” I said, shrugging. We all laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyway, I will say I am the most excited for you two. I’ll try to get a good seat so I can take a picture for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m excited to see you, too,” a man’s voice spoke behind us. Jo tensed up, swirled around, and the joy on her face seized my heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dad!” she yelled, throwing her arms around him. He was a tall man with coiffed sandy hair and a moustache. His glasses were eschew, one side resting on his blushing cheek as Jo squeezed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And do I get the same warm welcome?” a woman asked. Jo made a squeaking sound and flung herself from her father to her mother, a short woman with long hair almost dark enough to be considered brunette.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom! Ah!” Her mother wasn’t quite as ready to hold her daughter up and stumbled back, but righted herself before they both tumbled to the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo, please. You’re going to send us both to the hospital.” Though chiding her, she still laughed. “We missed you so much, baby. You and William have gifts waiting at home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Jo replied. Her face was glowing. I’d never seen her like this before. I wanted to preserve the sight as much as I could. “Did you get the book?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After your concert, I’ll swing by and pick my things up. Don’t worry, you’ll get it soon enough. Kids.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “I got the keys to my office with me, okay? Patience.” Suddenly, Jo’s mother leaned to the side and caught my eye. “Speaking of patience, I’ve been waiting a while to meet this young lady. I’m guessing you’re Miss Renna Golden?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my cheeks heat and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. It’s really nice to finally meet you. I’m Renna.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s mother scoffed. “Oh, dear. You don’t need to bother with ‘ma’am’. Just Darcy is fine.” She stepped closer and gave me a side hug. “You’ve brought a lot of happiness to my girl. She talks about you constantly. I’m glad she has you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Has me…? You, uh, know about…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I do! How could I not? She only tells me 15 times a day!” Darcy chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked at Jo who shrugged, but the smile never left her face. “Oh. I guess that takes out an awkward step in the process of meeting your family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re a pretty open family,” the man said. “We’re the oddballs that actually like each other. Thomas.” He extended his hand and gripped mine firmly. “We’ll all talk more after the show. We’re going to grab William and find seats.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, we need to get with the choir now. We have to be behind the stage twenty minutes beforehand.” Jo kissed both her parents on their cheeks and took my hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A large partition stood behind the stage making a “backstage” area to prepare for our performances. I set my purse in the cubby shelf set up for us to use and closed my phone inside. If we were caught with one in our pockets on stage, even if it was off or set to silent, there would be hell to pay from Ms. Wilson. Feeling a sudden twinge of nervousness, I pulled out a compact and checked myself. Everything looked in place. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m here to have fun. Just relax.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon enough, we filed onstage and took our places. Lights came to life around us, twinkling and cheerful. The audience really was huge. There were a lot more people that arrived in that span of twenty minutes. Gabbie did try to warn us. The entire thing was a blur as soon as it started. It was almost anticlimactic with how nervous I had been. My heart raced, my eyes filled with tears, and my chest was tight with emotion. Singing with everything I had made me feel lightheaded and giddy. There was cheering and applause and relieved faces and laughter. We sounded so confident. I was proud of what we accomplished together. If I got to do this every year until I graduated, I would be happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow! Thank god we got through all that. Now let’s go stuff our faces since we don’t have to hold off anymore.” Jo bounced on her toes, ready to head back to the side of the ballroom with the food. Her shoulders rose and fell noticeably with her heavy breaths and she looked like she was glowing with pride. I reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, let go grab our stuff. Gabbie was supposed to have taken our picture. I want to see if she sent it already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We grabbed our things and started shuffling toward the food. I dug my phone out as we walked and turned it on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know about you, but I want shrimp first. Did you see the size of those things? I wouldn’t be shocked if they told us they were actually tiny lobsters. Do you care for seafood?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t tried much, but I probably… would…” My voice dried up and I stopped walking. I was completely frozen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna? Why’d you stop?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After an agonizing minute of processing what I was reading, a strangled noise escaped me. “No…!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, what’s happening?” Jo was panicking now. She stood next to me and looked at my phone over my shoulder. It was a text message from an unknown number. All it said was </span>
  <em>
    <span>THEY KNOW. THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU. RUN.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was the moment my new life turned on its head. I could almost feel a hole opening up under my feet to plummet me to the center of the earth. I was going to have to leave if I wanted to keep any of the life I had made for myself here. Thoughts ricocheted in my head at lightning speeds. Would I be able to come back at all? Would I need to start another new life? How long would I need to hide? Where would I go? Why! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna!” Jo yelled at me. She had a frantic expression on her face. “Renna, talk to me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I blinked and realized Jo had been calling out to me for a few minutes now. “They know, Jo. My family is coming for me. I knew they had to be looking, but the longer I was gone the more I thought they never would. I’m so stupid. It’s been almost four months. Of course they’d find me by now. Jo, what am I going to do…?” My voice cracked pitifully at the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to get you out, that’s what. I promised you before. We would get through this together. We need to just pack some shit and leave. We’ll travel a bit and plan when we can hide. We’ll be okay.” Jo’s gaze was strong and unwavering, but her hands on my arms were shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to go now. We can’t wait until the end of the party. We’re going to have to leave this minute and you just got to be with your parents again. I can’t ask you to do this with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter if you’re not asking. I’m doing it anyway. We are a team, Renna. We will be okay. Together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tried not to cry. “Then we have to go. Now. I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize to me. Team! Together! Okay!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All I could do was nod. My guardian angel would be with me in this and I would never understand what I did to deserve her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom’s university office is close to this hotel. It’s in this city, anyway. I’ll grab the key and we can get it ourselves. Then we’ll just pick a direction and go as far as we can until we need to get a hotel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, we still need the book. Let’s do that, then. I don’t have anything else better in mind.” I waited for Jo to find her way back to Darcy and Thomas. She gave them quick hugs and discreetly fished a set of keys out of Darcy’s purse. A few words were exchanged between them, but I didn't want to listen in. I tried to ignore the glistening look of Jo’s eyes when she caught up to me and we walked out of the building at a rapid pace. “Is she going to be able to get home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Her car and house keys are on a different keyring. This is all just for work. She’ll still be able to get in her office, though. She’ll just have to call someone at the school.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And how will we be able to find the book? We are on very limited time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Another professor in the department set it out for her. She asked for the stuff she needed to be picked up to set out so she could just pick it up and leave. The book should just be sitting on her desk on top of a stack of papers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. I’ll pay for a taxi to get us there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We made it there in more time than what I was comfortable with. Although, any amount of time other than instantly was more than acceptable now. We entered a modern looking building with a neatly cared for lawn. Not too many people were surprised to see Jo, so we didn’t raise any suspicions getting to the office. Up a flight of stairs and down a quiet hallway, we arrived at a wooden door with “Dr. D. Maxell” written on a simple gold plaque. The office was small and organized, but with little touches to the decor to give it personality. Old books and knick knacks lined a row of shelves on one wall. A tapestry with runes hung behind an oak desk. Just like Jo said, a book very similar to the one we found in her basement sat on a thick stack of papers waiting to be taken home. Even though we were stretched for time, I grabbed the book and flipped it open, desperate to know what was inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The same basic information from the last book was there. The Children of the Moon, the shifters, the curse. This book, however, gave a little more insight to the author. It seemed he was some sort of an anthropologist researching how people lived in the areas he traveled. These were observation journals. In a different circumstance, I would have been very interested in seeing his other works, but now I was too focused on the task at hand. Then I saw the words “Curse of Will” and stopped. There was a drawn map in this book, an area I recognized. The translation notes were faded, but I was able to read them without much effort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The werewolves are unparalleled in their cruelty. The dark magic they use scares me. It is evil and taints the very air around them. I wonder if they are so corrupted because of the dark magic or if they use the dark magic because they are that way already. They have removed the small finger of one of their own people for the curse against the beast men. Flesh and blood of the caster. The magic is contained in this bone and was buried deep in the forest to preserve it. It is nonsense, as it cannot be destroyed naturally anyway. I believe this was just further punishment. The plants around it have died and no animals will live there now. The beast men shy away from that area. It is as if their bodies know how wrong that object is. To taunt the beast men, the curse can only be broken if the bone is destroyed by a human linked to the curse. This would never be possible, as the human women linked to the beast men are so enthralled by the curse they would not be able to bring themselves to break the bond. It will be a never ending cycle. I mourn for the lives of those touched by this vile curse.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo! This spells it out right here. You were right. There is a way to break the curse.” I handed the book to Jo and she read over the pages. “They just thought it would never happen. Jo, we can do this. If I’ve never felt the pull of the imprint, even though I’m an imprintee, I might be able to smash that thing to pieces. I could free everyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo looked at me, eyes wide. “It really is just all there. It was here the whole time.” She sounded amazed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That means we won’t be picking a direction and running, then. This changes everything. Now, we have to run to La Push.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter Eighteen (Advent)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're getting very close now. For this chapter, I tried to make the title the opposite of chapter five when she left Washington (Exodus) and in my mind it ended up being an advent. I don't know if anyone's caught it, but I've also been trying to use some titles that have religious connotations since SMeyer very obviously has Christianity be a heavy theme in the actual series and I wanted this to feel close to the real work. Although, I guess that's as far as I included that theme in this. Anyway, enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Eighteen (Advent)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I settled into my seat in the back of the taxi I hailed to take Jo and me to the airport. My knuckles strained against their skin, pulled taut from my vice-like grip on the book. I was lucky I was more and more like a human every day, despite tasting Jo’s blood twice. Both times had only been enough to do just that - taste. My powers surged and then faded right back to where they were before. I would probably have to truly have my fill to reverse what’s already been set in motion. I hoped I was still strong enough to carry Jo if I needed to or fast enough to get her to safety. I had no idea what we were in for when we would arrive at our destination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt filled my stomach and turned my head subtly to look at Jo. While I understood this was her choice, I still felt uneasy about her coming with me. Would she actually be in danger? Would anyone, on either side back home, try to hurt her? An image of a vengeful Jacob appeared in my mind, grabbing Jo’s arm and raking a set of claws down her face. I tried to smother a whimper, but Jo’s gaze snapped up to meet mine. She reached over and covered my hand with her own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, it’s going to be okay. We’re just going to go there and get this over with. In a couple days, it’ll be over with and we can just breathe a bit. Since winter break has technically started, we could even plan out a really fancy date or something. There’s that really nice French restaurant we talked about, remember? That might be fun.” She gave me a small smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “I know this is upsetting for you. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. But we will push through it and then go home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And then go home.</span>
  </em>
  <span> That was all I wanted right now. It was weird. This trip to Washington did not feel like going home, to visit or otherwise. When did Forks stop feeling like home? It was almost like I was going back to a stranger’s home, like Grandfather showing me a cabin in the mountains and saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>See, dear? This is where our cousins live. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Familiar, but not mine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have the website to buy the tickets up. How do we want to do this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked over at Jo’s phone. “Closest airport is in Port Angeles. We’ll just book for a one way trip since I have no idea how soon we’ll be able to come back. Look for a nonstop flight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo swiped at her screen for a minute and held it back up to me. “Here’s one for the airport we’re heading to. Flight to Port Angeles, one way, nonstop. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to afford it though…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo, listen to me.” I spoke in hushed tones so the driver couldn’t hear me. “My family is obscenely wealthy. I’m not sure how much they have exactly because I’ve never asked and they’ve never told me, but based on what I’ve seen growing up it’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Me paying for all of your expenses for this trip is not going to even put a scratch in their bank accounts. I’m sure Aunt Rose won’t even notice the difference. Hell, I could take you to France for a week right now and it would be the same.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s eyes widened, but she just nodded. “Then I’ll book us the flight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When we arrived at the airport, we quickly made our way to the line for our counter. I let Jo have the reins here; I’d only ever flown once in my life and Aunt Rose arranged the whole thing for me. The airport was packed with people and rolling suitcases. When we got to the counter, Jo handed our IDs to a woman typing at lightning speed on a computer in front of her and showed her our order confirmation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Two p.m. flight to Port Angeles, Marjorie Maxwell and Renna Golden?” The woman smiled up from her computer. “You’re all set. Please take your boarding passes and wait in that line to your left for your security check.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt the air go cold. Jo was suddenly frigid, her back ramrod straight and the color drained from her skin. She thanked the woman robotically and went to stand in the other line without looking at me. I had never heard someone call her that before. Was that her full name? Why was she so upset? Jo didn’t speak the entire time we were in line and gave the bare minimum interaction to the officer going over her with a metal detector. We were free soon to wait by our gate - the perk of only having the clothes on our backs and our purses with us - but Jo still wouldn’t look at me. We sat on a bench near an ice cream stall and I scooted my hand close to hers. Gently, I tapped my pinky finger to hers and sent her what I considered to be some of the most peaceful things I had ever seen. The northern lights in Denali, the way the grass looked like water during my last hunting trip with Uncle Emmett, watching the snow fall from the top of a towering pine tree… All quiet, soothing things I kept in my heart. Her shoulders relaxed a little and she sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” I asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I’m just embarrassed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would you be embarrassed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You heard it. I know you did. Especially since you have super hearing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To be fair, it’s gotten worse the longer I’ve been in New York.” I elbowed her side playfully, trying to lighten the mood. “And the two times I got a sample from you didn’t make much of a difference in the long run.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She blushed, but finally met my eyes. “I’m sorry. I know I’m acting like a baby, but I can’t help it. I just… hate my name. It’s something you call an old lady. It was the name of an old lady in fact - my great-grandmother. I was picked on for it in elementary school, so when we moved I told everyone to just call me what my Dad always called me. It’s not like I was trying to specifically hide it from you, but it just never came up and I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to think differently about me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo held her breath, waiting for my response. I stared at her, dumbfounded, and then burst out laughing so hard that tears sprung to my eyes. Jo flinched back, at a loss for words. After getting control of my breathing, I wiped my eyes and put a hand on Jo’s leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo! Oh, Jo. No. Your name is fine. It’s a classic name. But I don’t blame you for not telling me. I understand very well about hiding and resenting your name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait… is your name not Renna?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took a deep breath. “No, not technically. But you’re going to feel so much better about yours when you hear mine.” I leaned closer. “It’s Renesmee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo opened her to speak, but closed it again. It was hard to read her expression. “Excuse me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Renesmee. A mashup of my grandmothers, Renee and Esme. Oh, and you’ll love the cherry on top. My middle name is a mashup of my grandfathers, Carlisle and Charlie. Carlie.” I spelled the names for her for full effect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, um. So we were both using nicknames. That’s kind of funny.” She tried to smile, but still looked a bit shocked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On the topic of nicknames… I showed you images of…” I paused to rub my temples. “Jacob, right?” She nodded. “When I was born, he kind of took over. My mom was, for a lack of a better way to describe it, in a coma for a few days after my birth. While she was out, he renamed me. Said he didn’t like what a mouthful my full name was. And it unfortunately stuck with my family. So in the next couple days in the very good chance you meet them, don’t be too surprised if they call me Nessie.” I cringed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nessie…? He nicknamed you after the Loch Ness Monster?” She looked appalled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup. That’s what I’ve had to live with. So trust me, I’d never find your name weird.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s smile touched her eyes now. “I guess I can believe that. So I’m assuming Golden is also a cover?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I leaned closer again. “It’s Cullen. That’s my family name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renesmee Cullen. Huh. Somehow that just sounds wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, you’re right. It honestly does. Like I’m talking about a different person almost.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I rested my head on Jo’s shoulder, mulling over our conversation in my head, until we heard the announcement to board our plane. With how much I’d changed since leaving, “Renesmee” probably was a different person at this point. I’d grown, evolved, and I liked the person I was becoming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was able to breathe easier once we were up in the air. Here, my family couldn’t get me. At least until we landed. By then, they would probably be combing through my new hometown. Would they scare anyone there? Would they even find anything?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wonder how much they know. And how they even found out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s eyebrows scrunched together. “I’m pretty sure it had to have the advertisement Gabbie talked to us about.” She pulled out her phone and started tapping, using the flight’s wifi. Her face grew pale. “Yeah, that would do it.” She handed the phone to me and my stomach dropped. The hotel had put out a big announcement for our school’s Christmas pageant. The post featured a list of the performances with times and photos. There was a photo there of our dress rehearsal yesterday. When did someone take this picture? How had I not noticed? There I was, front and center with a big smile on my face next to Jo. My eyes slid to the numbers under the post. It had been liked and shared thousands of times over. I guessed that was a credit to how famous that hotel was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. That would do it.” I handed the phone back and leaned my head against my chair. The flight attendant made his rounds with a cart, offering snacks and drinks down the rows of seats. Jo and I each took a little bag of pretzels and a Coke. Popping a pretzel in my mouth, I realized we had left that amazing buffet at the hotel before being able to try any of it. Even I was excited for it, but my heart felt heavier for Jo. All she had talked about for the entire week leading up to the event was the food. Ms. Wilson forbade us from eating anything before our performance. I looked over at Jo, absentmindedly nibbling on a pretzel while looking out the window. There was no way I wasn’t going to take her to that fancy restaurant now. I was going to make sure she got all the gourmet food she could ever want and then some.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was halfway through our six hour flight. I tapped Jo’s thigh to get her attention. “We should plan a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Agreed. I’ve never been in Washington before, let alone La Push, so you’ll be my guide here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First, when we get to Port Angeles we’ll need to find a Walmart or something and grab a change of clothes. As quickly as we can. We’re going to be searching around the woods for this bone and that’s not going to be easy in a dress and heels. We also might have to do some running. I’m not sure what’s out there. Or who.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded solemnly. “You mean, Jacob might be there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes automatically teared up. “Exactly. If he got wind of my family knowing where I was, he would go with them. But he might not know and if that’s the case, I have no idea where he would be. I’m sure he’s been looking for me. He doesn’t have the resources my family does, though. He’s probably been running all over the place sniffing around for me. Literally.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not going to come anywhere near you.” Jo suddenly looked very fierce for a human. I wanted to trust her words, but my stomach twisted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to make this whole thing as quick as possible. Get in and get out. Hopefully, there’s no one to even run into.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right.” Jo let the tension in her shoulders ease up. “I also think maybe we should get salt, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a thing in all kinds of books and shows about magic. It repels evil? Or maybe demons. Or… it protects you? I don’t know, I’m sorry. It sounded better in my head. I’ve just been thinking about how to contribute and I’m not coming up with a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it sounds fine. We can do that. Anything’s better than nothing, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the flight was quiet. Jo took a nap and I used her phone to read meaningless articles on a pop culture website. It didn’t do much to take my mind away from what was coming. When the plane landed, I gripped the armrests of my seat and kept telling myself I couldn’t run off. We were already looking suspicious enough as it was - two girls without luggage in matching outfits and strained looks on our faces. When the flight attendant did one last round to make sure everyone was okay, I asked Jo in a louder tone than usual “Are you excited to finally see Grandma?” My face was cheery and Jo, bless her, played along. Hopefully that would help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When we were off the plane and out of the airport, I wasted no time getting a taxi to Walmart. We were ready to spring from the car and race into the store. I grabbed the first things I could find - a t-shirt with a reindeer on it, a plain red sweatshirt, grey sweatpants, socks, and sensible blue sneakers. Jo’s outfit was similar, but intentionally in different colors to differ attention from us. We fast-walked our way to the aisle with spices and were met with several different kinds of salt. We didn’t have time to deliberate which might be more effective against dark magic, so we grabbed one small container of each and ran to checkout. After paying for our items - and enduring the confused look of the cashier ringing up two full athleisure outfits and a bunch of salt - Jo spotted the restroom and we changed into our new clothes. At the very least, they were pretty comfortable. Jo walked out of her stall sporting a ponytail, having had ties in her purse. She handed me one and I made quick work putting my hair up. I didn’t have time to get flustered at how cute Jo looked at the moment. We shoved our old clothes into the backpack Jo had the sense to add to our purchase and made our way out to find yet another taxi willing to take us the hour and half to La Push.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t hard to find a driver willing to go that far when I agreed to a ridiculous price and to tip handsomely. Jo just kept a natural face and made her way into the back seat. It would probably take a while to get used to the money thing. To make ourselves busy, we began discreetly mixing the salt into a sandwich bag Jo had in her purse to hold cough drops. We had a nice pouch of Kosher salt, sea salt, smoked salt, iodized table salt, and pink Himalayan salt. I was grateful to be occupied for a short amount of time and used the bag as a stress ball for the rest of the ride.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then our ride stopped, too soon and not soon enough.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter Nineteen (Culmination)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're back in La Push! Back to where it all started (sort of). I hope this chapter is as exciting and suspenseful as it was in my head when I wrote it. Thanks again for all of your support and encouragement.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Nineteen (Culmination)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air was charged with electricity. I could feel it in every nerve ending in my body. I was crouched without making the conscious decision to move into the position. Everything in me was screaming to scoop Jo in my arms and run in the opposite direction. The sights, the sounds, the scent… good god, just the scent alone. Every breath I took was another memory I left behind settling in my lungs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt Jo’s hand on my back. “Let go find it so we can head back. Maybe the movie on the flight back will be better than the one here. Or do you want to take bets on if it’s worse?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I appreciated Jo’s attempts at comfort. “Sorry,” I hissed through my teeth. “It’s just very hard to be here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rubbed my back and we started walking. It was around seven at night and it was dark, save for half a moon shining in the inky sky. Jo yawned as we walked and it hit me it was ten back in New York. She must have been exhausted. We kept our heads down as we went, hoping to avoid being seen. I had the image of the map from the first book clear in my mind. It was a very crudely drawn map, if you could even call it that, but it did show we were in the correct general area. I had given the taxi driver a random residential address in town, relatively close to First Beach. If the map was in any way accurate, it made the most sense to try the wooded area opposite the beach and go from there. Once I thought we were lined up about how the picture was, we turned and hurried past a few houses to enter the forest behind them. Now that we were so close, doubt crept into my mind. Would we know the spot we needed to be when we saw it? There was a chance we might have to have been out here for a very long time and it made me anxious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me know if you feel or see anything. I’m not sure if you’d be able to since you’re not connected to the curse, but just be alert,” I whispered. Jo nodded firmly. We pushed on in a straight line, our eyes scanning the dark woods. I wondered how much Jo could even see here. If she felt as helpless as I did, she didn’t let it show.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s getting really quiet,” Jo said quietly. She looked up into the trees. “Did you notice that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right.” No birds or owls calling, no skittering, no rustling of leaves. “That has to mean we’re getting close. The book said animals won’t go near the place.” Jo let out a shaky breath and her body trembled. She was terrified. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> was terrified. I took Jo’s hand and stepped forward. I had to keep as strong a front as she was, for her sake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We came to our first patch of dead, brown grass when we heard a branch snap. Jo tensed up, frozen on the spot. I grabbed her by the waist and strained my ears, trying to figure out which direction it came from. Another snap, loud and sharp. Jo bit down on her lip to hold in a sob. I rubbed my hand on her side, but she stayed stiff as a board. The scent hit me then - the distinct smell of Jacob’s wolf pack. There was a wolf out here and they found us. I crouched lower, trying to let my instincts take over. I would fight with everything I had to keep Jo safe. I suppressed a snarl. A large, dark figure slowly moved closer to us through the trees. I noticed more features - a paw, a flick of a tail, ears pressed flat… a white faced wolf with light grey fur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I eased up on my stance slightly and looked around once more. Only one wolf. I decided to take a chance. “Leah,” I called in a tone not much louder than a whisper. She stopped advancing on us and head tilted sharply. I was right. It was Leah Clearwater. If there was a single member of the pack that might take pity on me and my mission, it would be her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leah, it’s me. Renesmee.” Her eyes grew wide and and started walking to us again, her ears twitching. Jo whimpered, but I leaned close to her ear. “It’s alright. There’s a chance she could help us. Do you remember the images I showed you of Leah?” I sent her a quick burst of memories I had of Leah and Jo nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wolf finally reached us. Leah ducked her head low and stretched out to sniff us. Her eyes cut to me, suspicious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is me. It’s a very long story, but I’ve changed. Here, let me…” I reached out slowly, stopping when her lips curled back and a growl rumbled in her throat. I waited and she thankfully stopped. I dared to inch forward again. “It’s me, Leah.” My hand made contact with her cheek and I sent her images of time we spent together, sitting quietly at the beach and exchanging weary looks over campfires. She flinched back and shook her head. After a moment of silence, she darted back into the trees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, god. Is she going to bring the others here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait a second.” I heard rustling and held out hope. Leah emerged from the trees a minute later in a baggy shirt and shorts. Human. Jo gasped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renesmee…? How- what-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like I said, it’s a very, very long story. Leah, we might need help here. We found a way to get rid of the imprints.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah’s jaw dropped. “Are you joking? You’re being serious? You can get rid of them, all of them? Forever?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think so. We found out that it’s part of a curse. It was a punishment and it involved dark magic. I know this is a lot to take in, but you have to trust me. We’re going to try to break it and free everyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her face contorted into a pained grimace. “How?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have journals that explain it,” Jo spoke up. Leah focused her gaze on Jo like it was the first time she’d seen her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo took a shaky breath in, but froze up again. I answered for her. “This is Jo. She’s my girlfriend and she helped find all of this information in the first place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Girlfriend?” Leah looked shocked. “You’re with someone else even though you’ve been imprinted on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have never felt the pull of that imprint, even after coming of age. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Never.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah was stunned and stood in silence for a few minutes. I waited, letting her sort out her thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do what I can to help, then.” Jo and I let out audible sighs of relief. “Where do we go and what do we do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a little bone buried somewhere out here and it contains the curse’s magic. I need to dig it up and destroy it. It’s supposed to be in an area where the plants are dead and the animals won’t go near.” I explained the details of the curse and Jo held up the book to the relevant pages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, my god. I would have never thought… that it would be possible to be free of all this.” Her eyes became glassy. “I know where this probably is. We can’t run near here at all, it makes us feel sick if we try. Everyone avoids it. I won’t be able to go all the way, but I can get you close.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s perfect. Thank you, Leah. This means a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We followed Leah further into the woods, veering to the right and winding around rocks and fallen logs. No one spoke for almost twenty minutes. The grass was almost entirely brown around us now, dry and crunching under our feet. The trees were sparse. Even the moss looked unhealthy. Eventually I noticed the more we walked, the more Leah’s expression tightened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re pretty close. I don’t know how much further I can go. There’s a small clearing a few yards ahead. My best guess would be it’s in the center of all that. I’ll stay out here and wait for you so I can lead you guys back out after.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. Let’s get this over with, Jo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I turned to take Jo’s arm and keep going, but she was hunched over with her hands on her knees. Her face was pale and tinged with green. Before I could say her name again, she crumpled in on herself and vomited onto the forest floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo!” I held her around her shoulders to steady her. She was shaking badly and her breathes were ragged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry... “ she croaked, a sheen of sweat forming on her face. “Out of nowhere I just… My whole body hurts. I feel seasick.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s this stupid place,” Leah said. She stood on Jo’s other side and helped me hold her up. “Maybe it just does this to everyone and not just the pack.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I don’t feel anything.” I was digging through Jo’s backpack now, searching for a bottle of water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It probably helps that you’re part vampire. Even though you don’t smell as much like them now, it’s still there. I have no idea, but that makes the most sense to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then I have to go in alone.” I blinked against tears springing to my eyes. I would have to leave Jo by herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if she could hear my thoughts, Leah sighed. “I’ll guard her. If I have to, I’ll even shift. Not like I would need to, but…” She cut herself off and her eyes popped open like she’d been struck by something. “Shit!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? What’s happening?” My heart rate was skyrocketing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was shifted when I found you here. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner! Ah! They all have to know. Whoever was shifted when I was knows you’re here in La Push.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No…!” Jo explained weakly. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Our minds are all connected as wolves. It helps us in some scenarios, but it’s mainly a huge inconvenience to say the least. And I was shifted.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They only know I’m here, though. Not exactly where or what I’m even doing here. I just have to hurry.” I looked between Leah and Jo. “Please, protect her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo lifted her hands up and cupped my face. “Renna, be brave for me. I’ll be fine with Leah. I can tell she’s strong just by looking at her.” Leah gave Jo a small smile. “Just put me out of your mind for a few minutes and do what needs to be done. Don’t come back out until you do, okay? Promise me that. This has to be done. We’ve come so far already. I’m proud of you, Renna. I believe in you.” A tear fell down her cheek and she rubbed her thumb against mine. “I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears escaped my eyes now, blurring my vision. “Jo, I…” My voice cracked. “I love you, too.” I kissed her briefly, as gently as I could, and looked at her in awe. She loved me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not the half immortal child, not the imprintee. Me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah had turned her back to us and coughed into her hand. “Okay, you need to hurry. I’ll be here with her. Just go. Run.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. Thank you, Leah. I just… thank you.” At a loss for how to convey my gratitude, I shook my head and started running in the direction Leah pointed me towards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo was right. </span>
  <em>
    <span>As always</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I laughed to myself. I needed to clear my mind and do this as quickly as possible, especially if there might be other members of the pack coming this way now. I ran unbound now, not having to keep up with Jo, and flew through the trees. I noticed I was slower than I would have been if I was still drinking blood, but shook the thought off. I needed to focus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The trees thinned and I came upon a circular area devoid of any plant life. The brown grass faded into nothing but dirt and the bushes and trees were scraggly and gnarled. I couldn’t see a single green thing around here. Even the air felt thick and heavy. I wanted to scrub myself in a shower. Scanning the ground, it was obvious where the center of this clearing was. The decay of plant life was in a perfect ring leading to the circle of dirt right in the middle. I walked over to the center and felt a weight on my chest. This had to be it. It was here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sunk to my knees and pulled the bag of salt out of my pocket, kissing it quickly for Jo and dumping the contents over the dirt. I didn’t feel anything different. Maybe I didn’t do it right. Or maybe whatever this was was too powerful for even salt. I tipped my head back and sighed, but I had to keep on going. I dug into the ground with my bare hands, making a pile of earth next to me. As the hole got deeper, so did the oppressive feeling in the air. Then a dull, white object poked through the dirt and my spirits lifted. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it was still hard to believe this was real. But here it was, the bone from the book. I reached down to grab it and as soon as my skin made contact with it, howling erupted around me in the distance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My blood ran ice cold and every hair on my body took on end. If they didn’t know before, they knew now. I wrenched the bone from the ground and held it up to get a good look at it. It was old, tinted almost yellow, and rough. For what was supposed to be a finger, it was as large as my hand. This thing, this insignificant thing, had been the cause of so much suffering for years for so many people. I glared at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gripping it in one hand, I patted around on the ground with the other for a rock. I would do the simplest thing and smash it to pieces. Maybe even grind it to dust for good measure. There was another round of howls, closer now. Close enough I could hear them racing here, like a stampede. I stood and kicked at the dirt, desperate to find something. I contemplated crushing it with my hands, but something in me instinctually revolted at the idea of having whatever was inside on my bare skin. More howling and the faint sound of snarls tearing into the night air. In a panic, I slammed my hand into a boulder at the edge of the clearing and held the chunk that broke off into my hand. I placed the bone on the boulder, holding the piece of rock high over my head. This was it. I would end this now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before my hand could come down, a scream pierced my ears. It was Jo. The snarling was so close now. They were here. There was a rumbling growl and a low, menacing yowl. I heard Leah yell “Get back! Don’t come any closer!” and then the sound of fabric tearing. She must have shifted. How bad was it that she had to shift? My resolve faltered and I frantically tried to see past the trees. It was impossible. I had to go to her. I had to…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do it, Renna!!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t come back out until you do. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I gulped down my fear, held the rock high again, and brought it down as hard as I could on the bone. There was a sickening crunch and it gave way, shattering into several smaller pieces along with the rock. A tiny hissing noise followed and then a black vapor seeped from the cracks and evaporated into nothing. The snarling stopped all at once and it was quiet again. A hysterical laugh escaped my lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s over…” I breathed. “I can’t believe it was so simple. Jo…!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I turned to run back to Jo and Leah with a clumsy grin spread on my face, but every thought ended there and my vision turned to nothing but white.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>DISCLAIMER: Please do not ever actually dump salt into the earth. This will kill the plants in that area and make it so plants won't be able to grow there, sometimes for years depending on how much salt is in the soil. Renna and Jo didn't know this and since this is a "magical" work of fiction, that place is dead from a curse anyway. But I wanted to take the time to make sure this info was here after the chapter just to spread awareness. Thank you for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter Twenty (Finifugal)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, again. Somehow this is my longest chapter! The title of this chapter not only reflects Renna's feelings on seeing her family again, but my feelings on uploading lately. It's kind of weird to know it's close to being finished, haha.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Twenty (Finifugal)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was white. Everything around me was white. I couldn’t even see my hands. I had a vague sense of awareness and had the thought that I might have died. Where was I that it was so bright? Heaven, purgatory? The only sound I could hear was a dull but piercing ringing. Attempting to touch my ear, I realized I had no sense of touch. Maybe I wasn’t even in my body anymore. The odd thing was the longer I pondered my predicament, the more I could swear I smelled the scents of my old home and the people who lived there. The distinct, sweet smell of a vampire was definitely there.</p><p>I started to hear other sounds over the ringing, like muffled voices. I strained to hear them. It was like I was underwater and they were above the surface, yelling down at me.</p><p>“Trying… Awake… Hear me…”</p><p>It felt like I was so close to figuring out who was talking to me. I seemed important. Maybe I could figure out where I went if I knew. My father and his father were very religious people. I couldn’t say that I was. It never appealed to me, but I never brought it up to them for fear of offending them. If I was actually in heaven, at least I could rest easy knowing they’d be proud I was let in.</p><p>“She’s… Now... “</p><p>Ugh! I wished I could see who was talking to me! Despite not being able to feel any part of myself, I put all of my energy into forcing my eyes open. If I could only open my eyes… <em> Open. My. Eyes. </em></p><p>Slivers of light shone into my vision, somehow brighter than the white landscape I was trapped in. In the light was the silhouette of a person. Oddly, the more I tried to open my eyes, the louder the ringing became. My eyelids fluttered, trying to adjust and focus on who was in front of me - holding me, I realized.</p><p>Gold silk trailed down to my face and I could make out two eyes like the depths of the ocean looking down at me. A halo of light glowed around her form. An angel.</p><p>“Heaven,” I murmured.</p><p>I recognized Jo’s voice, a frantic edge to it. “She’s awake! Renna, can you hear me?”</p><p>“Hmm…” All I could get out now was unintelligible grunts and groans. More of my senses were coming back to me. I could feel Jo’s arms around me, but I could also feel a soreness all over my body. I was too dizzy to sit up, but I tried anyway.</p><p>“Renna, no, just lay back down. Do you need something? Do you need water?” She smoothed my hair down in a comforting gesture and leaned back to talk to someone behind her. “Esme, could you get some water?”</p><p>Esme?! I forced myself to sit up as much as I could. “Grandmother…?!”</p><p>“Yes, dear.” I heard her gentle voice and tears sprang to my already blurry eyes. “I’m here. Please lie back down. I’ll be back soon.” I felt her icy hand on mine and heard a whoosh a second later. She had run off.</p><p>I resigned myself to their orders and settled back down. “How is Grandmother all the way out here? We’re past the treaty line.”</p><p>“We carried you out of the woods and brought you to the Cullens’ home.” Leah’s voice. “There were three of them here and we figured they’d know better than us how to help you.”</p><p>“Who’s we?”</p><p>“Seth helped me. He went back already to help calm the chaos.” I was able to focus better now and could see the worry on Leah’s face.</p><p>Looking around, I took in where we were. We really were in the main house now, specifically the living room. I was on the couch, my head in Jo’s lap.</p><p>“Wait… three people were here?”</p><p>Grandmother came back into the room holding a glass of water and a damp cloth. She patted the skin on my forehead and I realized I was covered in sweat.</p><p>“Yes. Myself, Carlisle, and Rosalie. The others went to find you in New York. We’ve already contacted them, so they should be headed back now. Don’t worry.”</p><p>I groaned again. I did not want to have to deal with explaining all of this to them any time soon. There was a pause and what she said hit me. “Rosalie…!!” I twisted up and managed to get upright, scanning around the room as best as I could. “Aunt Rose!”</p><p>Suddenly, a figure was beside me. “I’m right here, kid.” She looked down at me, a hesitant smile on her face.</p><p>Tears poured out now, trailing hot down my cheeks. “Aunt Rose…!” I reached up like a small child and she looked surprised, but shook her head and indulged me anyway. Her cold arms wrapped around me and I sobbed into her stoney shoulder.</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she whispered, rubbing my back. Memories came back of being a tiny baby in her arms and how much warmth I felt despite her lack of body heat. I must have accidently sent it to her, because she laughed and pulled back.</p><p>“I missed you so much,” I told her. My lip wobbled and it came out shaky.</p><p>“I figured you would,” she said, flipping her hair and looking away. She bit her lip and met my eyes again. “I missed you, too.”</p><p>I took the opportunity to steer things to an easier topic. I had introductions to make. “Jo! Jo, this is my Aunt Rose. She-” My voice caught in my throat when I got a good look at her. She was covered in bandages and bruises and the corner of her lip was slightly swollen. Anger burned white hot in my chest.</p><p>“Who did this to you?” I ground out.</p><p>Jo saw my expression and flinched back. “It’s over now, Renna. Dr. Cullen was here when we got here and cleaned everything up. I’m fine.”</p><p>“What. Happened.” My breathing was labored at this point.</p><p>“I just got a bit scuffed up when those huge wolves ran in. It doesn’t hurt.”</p><p>I let out a huge breath and closed my eyes for a moment. I started again with a softer tone. “Please, Jo. Just tell me exactly what happened out there. I couldn’t see you in that ring of trees at all.”</p><p>“Well…” She sighed. “Leah and I were waiting. You ran in and disappeared. We couldn’t see you, either. Then, the ground was rumbling and there was howling. Leah told me it was the pack. And then there were a ton of wolves all around us, giant wolves. I was having a hard time standing since I felt so weak and sick. Not to be <em> tee-em-eye </em>, but I threw up when you left. Anyway, Leah told me to lay low and she would do everything she could to keep me safe. She shifted right in front of me. I was shocked!”</p><p>Leah huffed from across the room. “I kept my promise.” I noticed welts across her arm and winced.</p><p>Jo kept going. “They closed in and there was a point where Leah talked to them.” Jo tapped her forehead. “But I don’t think they wanted to hear it. They jumped her, two of them. Fur actually was flying in the air. Then another one darted out from the side and over top of me. I tried not to scream, but I couldn’t help it. I was so worried I had messed you up. Then that wolf swiped its paw at me and I ended up sailing a bit and hitting a rock. I yelled out to you then.”</p><p>It took everything in me not to start screaming in rage. “And then?”</p><p>“Then out of nowhere they all just froze up. It was dead quiet. None of them moved. Even Leah looked out of it. And after about a minute of this, a flashbang went off.”</p><p>“A what?” My shoulders lost some of their tension in my confusion.</p><p>“That’s the only way it can be described. Like an actual flashbang. This explosion of light burst out of the trees you were in and we all ducked away from it and this insane boom came after it. The sound caused actual waves. I swear I felt it. All the wolves started whining when that happened and they all shifted back. That was… something. I’m grateful they all had pants tied to them beforehand.”</p><p>“You got the worst of it, being right there and all.” Leah moved closer to the couch. “We all felt it when you broke that thing. Right before, all the pack members who had imprinted were frantic. They could all tell the imprints were being threatened. When I shifted, I could hear their thoughts. They could only think of protecting the imprints. It was scary.” She shuddered and looked away. “They wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. Their bodies just moved on instinct. When it was destroyed, even I felt that. It was like an intense weight I hadn’t even noticed was there was lifted from me. From everyone. And then all the thoughts started pouring in. The shock, the guilt, the embarrassment. When we all recovered from the… whatever that was… chaos broke out.”</p><p>She sat down on the arm of the couch and buried her head in her hands. “Paul was distressed, to say the least. He saw he was holding Rachel back and how miserable she’s been. I don’t know what’s going to happen to them. Jared was mostly unaffected.” Leah let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Probably helps that Kim liked him before the imprint. They probably would have ended up dating even without it. Quil is… not doing well. He collapsed after the imprints were broken. I honestly don’t think he’s going to go anywhere near Claire ever again after this. He’s so ashamed. Probably going to need therapy. At least it never went anywhere further than what it did. I… feel pretty bad for him.”</p><p>Everyone was silent, grim expressions on everyone’s faces. Leah rubbed her temples. “I don’t know what to say about Sam. The look on his face… Oh, god. He came to and suddenly wasn’t in love with Emily anymore. I’m lucky we shifted back so soon after all this, because the guilt he felt was suffocating. I don’t even know how to react. It had been a dream of mine for him to be stronger than the imprint and see me again. I…” She sobbed. “He felt bad for me. He <em> pitied </em> me. I couldn’t handle looking at him. I don’t think I can be around him.”</p><p>I reached up and put my hand on Leah’s arm. “I’m sorry, Leah.”</p><p>“Don’t be.” She wiped a tear away aggressively with the back of her hand. “Now everyone can start to heal.”</p><p>“And is…” I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. The question stuck in my throat like a ball of lead. “Was he… Where…”</p><p>“Jacob?” Leah asked. I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded.</p><p>“He was near Canada when I found you, so he started running back to La Push. He didn’t make it back in time when you broke the curse, but he’s here now.”</p><p>I felt sick. “Where is ‘here’?”</p><p>“In the woods outside this house. He didn’t want to wait inside because he was afraid you wouldn’t want him to.”</p><p>I sank down into the couch and grabbed Jo’s hand, trying not to shake. “Of course I don’t want him in here! I-!” My voice rose to a hysteric pitch.</p><p>“Hey, he’s not coming in here,” Leah interrupted me. “He kind of hates himself now. I know it doesn’t excuse what happened or anything he did, but I’m just putting it out there. He wants to apologize to you. That’s the only reason he’s even near this place right now.”</p><p>“<em> Apologize </em>…?” I began sputtering, unable to form a complete thought. What was he going to apologize for? Was he sorry that he ripped my childhood out from under my feet? Did he regret the terror he instilled in me every time I heard his voice? Was he even aware of any of this now?</p><p>Jo’s face was set with a hard scowl and she opened her mouth to say something. I cut her off. “I don’t want to see him right now. I need time to think.”</p><p>Leah nodded. “Okay. I’ll go let him know so he’s not just out there all day.” She hopped up and made her way out the door. I waited, my stomach in a knot. When she came back in, she gave me a half smile. “He left. He said you thinking about it was more than he could ask from you.” She slipped me a strip of paper and went back to the door. “I’m going to go now. I need to think, too. Call me if you need anything.” Then, she was gone.</p><p>I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and rested my head back against Jo. She ran her fingers through my hair and I relaxed a little more.</p><p>“Oh, my,” I heard Grandmother say under her breath. I looked up and she was wearing a glowing smile. “Honey, you didn’t get to properly introduce us to your friend.” She looked positively giddy. I felt myself blush.</p><p>“I think you’ve exchanged names based on what I’ve heard, but I’ll just start over. Grandmother, Aunt Rose, this is Jo Maxwell. My girlfriend.” Jo waved to them, sinking in on herself shyly.</p><p>Grandmother’s eyes sparkled. “Girlfriend! Oh! How lovely!” She clapped her hands in front of her face once and her smile was blinding at this point.</p><p>Aunt Rose had a surprised, but happy look on her face. “You’ve really made a whole new life for yourself. You’ve been thriving. I’m so proud of you.” She bent down to caress my cheek and paused briefly. “Renna.” My eyes watered instantly.</p><p>“I was planning to ask, what is that? ‘Renna’? A nickname?” Grandmother came closer.</p><p>“It’s my name now,” I told her. “It’s what I’ve been going by since I moved.”</p><p>“We have a lot to learn, then. Can I get you anything to eat or drink, Jo? Not to sound unkind, but you both look exhausted.”</p><p>“I would be so grateful for some food,” Jo laughed warily. “I haven’t really eaten for hours upon hours. We’ve been kind of busy.”</p><p>“Oh, no. We’ll make sure you’re very comfortable. Is there anything in particular you’d like?”</p><p>“Don’t go out of your way on my account. Whatever you have here is fine. Do you keep a lot of food in the house?”</p><p>Grandmother froze up, confused. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I just assumed since you don’t eat. I guess that was rude of me.”</p><p>Now Grandmother looked alarmed and she turned to me with wide eyes.</p><p>“It’s okay, she knows. She’s known for a while.”</p><p>Aunt Rose snapped her head towards me, too. Neither looked like they know how to respond.</p><p>Jo broke the silence. “I’m sorry. Renna explained this is a really important, dangerous secret. I would never, ever tell anyone. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m honestly okay with all of this. Renna hasn’t hidden her powers from me since telling me, so please don’t go out of your way to mask yours around me. Please don’t blame Renna.”</p><p>Grandmother and Aunt Rose shared a look. Aunt Rose looked back at me. “I guess if you really are in love, she would find out sooner or later.” Jo and I both turned red at “love”.</p><p>Grandmother perked up and turned toward the stairs. “Carlisle is coming back down.”</p><p>Grandfather made his way down the stairs in a slow, human pace and walked over to join us around the couch. “How are you feeling, my dear?”</p><p>“Better.”</p><p>Regardless, he bent down on his knee and checked me over. He looked into my eyes with a little light, he turned my head, and he checked my pulse. After a few more basic examinations, he looked relieved.</p><p>“Nothing seems out of the ordinary now.” He looked to Jo. “And how are you feeling, Miss Jo?”</p><p>“I’m fine. Nothing a nap won’t fix, probably.”</p><p>Grandfather leaned closer and ran his thumb gently across Jo’s upper lip. “This has swelled a bit more since I patched you up. I’ll get you an ice pack to help that.”</p><p>Jo watched him make his way to the kitchen and bent down to whisper to me. “Your family is so nice.” Grandmother and Aunt Rose laughed. “Oh. Almost forgot about the super hearing. Glad it was a compliment.”</p><p>“Speaking of my family,” I asked no one in particular. “When are they supposed to be here? How long was I out?”</p><p>Grandfather came back with an ice pack and handed it to Jo. “Around an hour. I called Edward when you got here. They should be back in five hours, give or take.”</p><p>“Did he sound mad?”</p><p>“Heavens, no. Why would he be mad?”</p><p>I groaned. “You’ll find out, I’m sure. After we eat, could we take a nap? I’m too tired to wait for them and I’m sure Jo is even more than me.”</p><p>“Of course,” Grandmother said. She went to work on something easy to prepare and Jo and I each finished off a plate of eggs and toast. It would be enough for now. Besides, we were promised a proper meal when we woke up. We also each took a quick trip to the bathroom and I splashed some water on my face. I really did look tired. Aunt Rose led us up the stairs to Dad’s old room and I didn’t even have time to get worked up at the thought of sharing a bed with Jo before I crawled under the covers and fell asleep in my clothes.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, I managed to sleep soundly. When I woke up, the sun seemed to be going down and the light filtering in through the windows was a deep golden due. I wasn’t awake for very long before Jo stirred and opened her eyes.</p><p>“Good morning. Or evening. Or something.” I laughed.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. You, too. What time is it?” She rubbed her eyes.</p><p>“I have no idea. I don’t think there’s a clock in here.”</p><p>Suddenly, there was a gentle knock at the door and Aunt Rose slipped in, shutting the door behind her. “Did you sleep well?”</p><p>“I think so. I feel better than before, at least.” I sat up further in bed.</p><p>“Me, too. This is a really comfortable bed,” Jo added, worming her way further into the blankets. I couldn’t help but laugh.</p><p>“I’m happy to hear that,” Aunt Rose said, walking to the dresser in the room. “There are clothes in here like always. You know that, Renna. Jo, feel free to take clean clothes for you to wear, too. You’ve seen the bathroom near here and you can shower and freshen up. There’s towels on the sink for you. Renna, you can use my bathroom to bathe.”</p><p>“Do we have time?” I was getting more anxious the more awake I became. “How long did we sleep?”</p><p>Aunt Rose sighed and sat next to me on my side of the bed. “You’ve been asleep for close to nine hours. We didn’t want to wake you guys up after all you’ve been through.” Before a panicked burst escaped my throat, she cut me off. “Shh. Just listen. They are all here now, as I’m sure you figured out. Carlisle, Esme, and I did our best to explain what we could and make it clear you needed space to recover before seeing them. They understand. Take your time up here to get clean and put on fresh clothes and whatever else you need to do. However long it takes. If both of you want to take two hour baths before seeing them, so be it. They are all waiting patiently downstairs when you’re ready.”</p><p>Aunt Rose gave me a quick hug and a kiss on my forehead so light that I wouldn’t have known she’d done it if I didn’t witness it. She got up to walk to Jo’s side and gave her a little pat on her head. “Please knock on the wall three times after you bathe and Carlisle will come to rebandage your wounds. He’ll hear it.” She gave us a small wave and left.</p><p>“I didn’t get to look very much before we went to bed, but how are your injuries? Is it as bad as I thought I saw?” I leaned over and Jo stiffly sat up. There were bandages wrapped on her arm and a square adhesive bandage on her cheek and forehead. Her lip didn’t look so swollen anymore.</p><p>“I mean, I’ve been better. But I just feel lucky it’s only this. If they hadn’t stopped when they did, I was pretty sure I was going to actually get mauled.” She rubbed her hand across the top of her chest. “My sweatshirt didn’t make it. It was shredded. Dr. Cullen cut it off of me. It kind of sucks because it was like a memento of this insane trip.”</p><p>I shook my head and chuckled. “Really? That’s what you’re upset about?”</p><p>“Kind of! Anyway…” she grumbled. “I’m going to be sore for a while. There’s no one else on this floor, right?”</p><p>“No, there shouldn’t be after what Aunt Rose said.”</p><p>“Good. Could you help me out of this shirt and the stuff under it?”</p><p>I stood and walked over to her side to grip the bottom of the shirt. “Tell me if I need to stop. I’ll try to go slow.”</p><p>I pulled the shirt over her head and Jo groaned. “I’m fine, keep going.”</p><p>Someone must have given her the shirt to wear after Grandfather tended to her, because there was no way her old one would have survived what I saw under it. Her right shoulder and chest were wrapped in gauze, brown-red blotches tinting it in spots. Around the bandages were a smattering of bruises in sickening jewel tones of all kinds - green, yellow, purple. My breath caught in my throat.</p><p>“Oh, Jo.”</p><p>“Oh, no no. I’m sure it looks worse than it is. I’ve been avoiding looking at it, but I’m sure that’s the case. Just cut it off and try not to ogle my boobs too much.” She tried to turn her head and give me a wink, but the effect of her joke was watered down when she winced.</p><p>Not knowing what else to use, I nipped the back of the bandage with my teeth and ripped it open. The sides flapped open and Jo held the front in place.</p><p>“Thanks. Hopefully the water won’t sting too bad. I’ll meet you back in here?”</p><p>I nodded and handed her a pile of clothes. “Sounds like a plan.”</p><p>I made my way to Aunt Rose’s bathroom and turned the water on in the shower. There was no way I was going to be able to relax in a bath. I got undressed and looked around the room. Everything here was polished white marble with delicate glass bottles decorating the counter and shelves. Most of what was in here was for show. Aunt Rose certainly didn’t need any lotions or perfumes, but it probably made her feel closer to “normal” that she had them.</p><p>I knew the shower was used occasionally, though. Even though vampires didn’t sweat or shed dead skin cells, they could still get covered in dirt or blood after a hunt. I was pretty sure I was the only one to use her tub, though. Aunt Rose would take me in here as a baby and bathe me almost every evening just to be able to have the experience of doing so. I willed the tears to not come. There was a lot Aunt Rose did for me that a normal mother would have.</p><p>The shower was a welcome distraction. The water was hot and the soap smelled clean and fresh. My muscles held a dull ache and the water helped loosen that feeling. When I started feeling too antsy to stand under the water any longer, I stepped out and got ready for an evening I wasn’t looking forward to.</p><p>The clothes I had were relatively plain, but made of a luxurious feeling fabric. I rolled my eyes, but smiled. Nothing could ever be simple here. I was in a pair of leggings and a long sleeved tunic, both in pastel colors, and warm socks. I was pretty sure what I gave Jo was similar. Jo was a little taller than me, but the fabric was stretchy and would probably fit. I hoped it was loose enough in the top to not bother her injuries. As I walked back to Dad’s room, I saw Grandfather open the door the bathroom Jo was in. He gave me a quick smile and continued on to wrap up Jo.</p><p>Not even ten minutes passed when Jo opened the door to the bedroom. “I’m back.”</p><p>“How are you feeling?” I stood from my place on the end of the bed and looked her over. Her outfit was very similar, as I guessed, and I was relieved to see it fit well. She looked like she felt better, too. What miracles a little shampoo and hot water could do.</p><p>“I’m alright. I didn’t think I could stand soaking in the tub with this,” she gestured to her chest and shoulders. “so I just took a shower. Had to angle myself weird… it did sting. But it was fine after a bit! And now I’m a freshly wrapped mummy thanks to Dr. Cullen. He said nothing looked infected.”</p><p>My bottom lip wobbled. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re healing.”</p><p>Jo gingerly gave me a hug. “I’ll be fine. Honest. I doubt Dr. Cullen would let anything bad happen anyway. He was very meticulous.”</p><p>“That’s very true,” I half laughed, half sighed. “He’s a great doctor.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence where we just stood there in a tender, quiet embrace. Then Jo asked tentatively, “When should we go down?”</p><p>I nuzzled into the good side of her neck and sighed. “I’m glad you said ‘we’. I’ll definitely need you with me. And… I don’t know. I guess it would be better to get it over with.”</p><p>“I’ll be by your side the entire time.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>And we slowly walked to the stairs to meet my family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter Twenty One (Metanoia)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not sure what to say here this time. Poor Jo got a little beat up, sorry Jo, haha. And now Renna gets to talk to her family after changing so much as a person. I hope that this encounter is satisfying to read, especially with how many feelings you guys had at the beginning. Thank you as always for reading and the encouragement and kudos. It's been a wild ride.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter Twenty One (Metanoia)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The familiar scents were overwhelming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I hadn’t even reached the middle of the staircase and the overly sweet aroma all vampires carried with them saturated the air downstairs and wafted its way up to meet me. Even Jo sniffed a bit and turned to give me a confused look. I could even make out their distinct differences - the individual scents of my family members all gathering just to see me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo rubbed my back and mouthed </span>
  <em>
    <span>it will be okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I took a deep breath and took another step. I was shaking and I knew Jo could feel it. After another step, I could tell they were all gathered in a semicircle in the living room facing the landing. I could see their shoes at this point and my stomach knotted aggressively. No one moved an inch. They were perfectly still, waiting for me. To ease the motion, I squeezed my eyes shut and finished my descent. When I made it all the way, I let out all the air in my lungs and took a shaky breath in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I opened my eyes and instantly locked mine on my mother’s.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the span of time it would take for a pin to drop, she was across the room and embracing me so tightly it was nearly painful. Her finger gripped into my skin and she took a rattling breath in and let out such a mournful wail I thought my heart would break on the spot. “My baby, my baby…” she kept whispering over and over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slowly lifted a hand and patted her arm, still in a vice-like grip around me. “Mom…?” I had never seen her like this before and it was alarming. I was a little scared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gradually she loosened her grip and was breathing easier. “Thank you, Jasper,” she called over her shoulder. I looked up and saw Uncle Jazz, who nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom looked me in the eye again. “Where did you go?” The look on her face was stricken with grief. While it was impossible for her as a vampire to have bags under her eyes or worry lines, it was almost as if she still showed the wear and tear of a long period of distress.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt threatened to eat me alive until I felt the back of Jo’s hand subtly brushed against mine. I opened my mouth to start talking, but shut it again. I needed a few more deep breaths. Mom allowed the silence, but never broke her gaze. I tried again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I left,” I managed to get out. How was I supposed to explain all of this? Where would I begin? “I’m sure you figured it out by now that I went to New York. I… had to leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell us? Or bring this desire up anytime before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tried. At least, I tried to tell you how miserable I was. I tried to tell everyone.” My voice rose without meaning to. I scanned the room quickly and some of my family members had the grace to wince. “I was dying inside and no one would listen to me. I had to leave for my own sake.” Tears grew heavy in my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dying…?” My mother’s voice was barely a whisper. “I can’t- I don’t-” She shook her head and crushed me into her again, muttering </span>
  <em>
    <span>my baby</span>
  </em>
  <span> into my hair again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tensed up. I truly had never seen her like this. My mother had never been the maternal type. While there were moments when she would stroke my head or read me to sleep as a child, it was nothing like the doting treatment I received from Aunt Rose or even Grandmother. I’d always felt comfortable around her growing up and when she looked at me with a face full of admiration, I was filled with pride. But this… this was so abnormal I didn’t know how to react.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I saw a figure next to Mom and looked over her shoulder. Dad had gone to her side and placed a hand on her back. “Bella, she’s here now. Let her breathe.” Some of her tension melted at his touch and she backed away from me a step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My father took a deep breath now that he was closer and gave me a bewildered look. “I thought that scent was your companion, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He leaned closer to me, eyes wide. “You smell distinctly human.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A chill shot down my spine. I was so worried about seeing them, I never even wondered how they’d react to this new change. Now, I was running those thoughts through my mind at rapid fire. Were they going to be upset?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom’s eyes grew huge and she whipped her head back to find Grandfather. “Carlisle,” she called, her voice clipped and anxious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unlike my parents, he took his time to walk to me at a brisk human pace. “I’ve already looked her over when she was unconscious. I noticed it then, but didn’t want to bring attention to it with all that was going on. I was curious if it would persist after she was rested but…” He touched my face and then my neck and shoulder, checking my temperature and pulse. “She’s not entirely a human, but she's definitely more human than vampire at this point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom’s body was frozen in place. “What does that mean, Carlisle? What does that mean for her lifespan? Nahuel assured us his sisters were all hundreds of years old.” Her words were practically hissed through her teeth, her jaw clenched tight. She touched my cheek. “She has freckles now. And she looks older than she did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was suddenly aware that all my life growing up, I was so used to people talking about me as if I wasn’t right in front of them that I hadn’t noticed it. Now, I had been away for so long that it was shockingly apparent. I pursed my lips and moved my face away from her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked surprised, but dropped her hand. “Nessie?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Renna.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” My voice was firm and I set my shoulders back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a deafening silence following my correction and I was met with confused looks by just about everyone in my family. It dragged on uncomfortably, but I refused to shrink back. Eventually, the silence was broken by Dad clearing his throat and taking a step to the side toward Jo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we’ve been quite rude here to your guest.” He dipped his head and smiled down at Jo. “I am Edward, Renes- Er… Renna’s father.” The words came out awkwardly, but he maintained a pleasant look while he greeted Jo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Uh, hello. I’m Jo Maxwell.” Her words croaked a little and she looked visibly shaken.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry we’ve been ignoring you like this. It’s a very unusual day for all of us, I’d imagine. And I also apologize if our presence is scaring you. We’ll try to keep our distance, but I can assure you you are safe here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a moment of quiet and then Jo sputtered again. “No! Um, uh. No, you’re fine. I’m just nervous to be meeting Renna’s entire family all of the sudden. I’m not, uh, afraid of what you, um… that you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, dear,” Esme said from her spot perched on the arm of the livingroom sofa. Her voice was warm and gentle. “I’ve already explained to the others that you know about us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Thank you, ma’am. That makes me feel better. A lot better, actually?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked over to where Uncle Jazz was sitting with his arm around Aunt Alice and he nodded his head, a sly smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took Jo’s hand and swept my eyes over the room. “I should introduce you all to Jo, then. This is the girl who has helped me no matter what and has been there for me when I needed her the most. This is Jo, the girl I love.” My face heated then, having only said I loved Jo twice now. Jo’s face turned red as well and she twisted the hem of her shirt with her free hand nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom and Dad looked at us then with unreadable expressions. Somehow, Mom’s eyes were even rounder than just a minute ago. Dad’s mouth popped open slightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s like us,” Dad said, laughter in his tone. Then he really did laugh, deep and jovial. Mom turned to him, bewildered. He tried to calm himself enough to speak. “It’s just like us, Bella. Look at them. History was destined to repeat itself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom cupped my face with her hands and barely whispered to me. “Is it true? You’re in love?” I nodded and she closed her eyes, placing her forehead against mine. “You’ve changed so much. But I’m… happy for you. If it’s anything like when I was your age, I’m happy that you’ve found something like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We stood there for a minute, just huddled in each others’ presence. Though my eyes were closed, they still watered at her words. My mother’s sweet scent filled my lungs and a longing for my old home settled in my chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the mother I had missed so badly when I was about to leave home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahem,” a small voice piped up. Aunt Alice had hopped up from her seat and bounded over. “I would like a turn now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom shook her head, but a smile touched her lips. She moved back and let Aunt Alice get closer. Aunt Alice’s arms were around me in a second, squeezing tightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry I didn’t do more for you then,” she murmured into my hair. “I could see how unhappy you were, how off you were, but I assumed it would work itself out. It was never a possibility in my mind you would actually end up with… him. So I did nothing. And I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aunt Alice…” I was surprised, but found myself putting my arms around her in kind. Was no one mad at me? Not that I particularly wanted to be yelled at or scolded, but I didn’t know how to react in this situation. Her words were painfully genuine. “Thank you, Aunt Alice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pulled back. “Are you feeling alright enough to let us know what happened the day you left? And what’s happened since? We all want to listen and hear you out.” Her fingers brushed through the ends of my hair. “And before I’m not able to hold it in anymore, I have to say… this is amazing. I’ve always been a fan of short hair.” She winked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I ducked my head, embarrassed at her sudden compliment, and looked behind her. The others nodded and offered encouraging smiles. I looked to Jo and she did the same. “Okay. I’ll start from the beginning then.” Jo and I sat down on a loveseat closeby and I finally was able to explain everything I had gone through to my family, now willing to hear what I had to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It took what felt like hours. Never had I been so open to my family before. I started my story from the moment I realized Jacob was not one of my uncles and felt his eyes on me like an old, wet blanket - sticking to my skin and making me feel cold and disgusted. It only got worse as time went on and I saw that everyone chose not to see it. He grew bolder and they grew blind to it. I left when I reached my breaking point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How was I supposed to live like that? Knowing full well that I was the child bride of my mother’s former lover?” Mom started to protest the term, but I held up a hand to cut her off. “It’s the same difference. And even the stories I’ve heard of how manipulative and pushy he was back then. It scared me! If he was willing to force himself on you and tell you he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you didn’t kiss him? That his excuse was that you didn’t know what you wanted? Then what would stop him from doing that to me now that I was the target of his obsession? All of those times you laid me down to bed and reminisced about your human life, it was a horror story in my mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My early childhood felt like such a lie after I figured out what was going on. All the memories I had of being carried around by him made me sick. I felt safe at the time! Protected! Loved! I thought he was my damned </span>
  <em>
    <span>uncle!</span>
  </em>
  <span> I had to get out!!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My shoulder heaved with my labored breathing and I could feel sweat all over. The room was all at once burning hot and my hands shook. Fists, rather. I had clenched my hands so hard there were imprints on my palms. My family’s faces were a mix of shock and horror. Dad, Grandfather, and Grandmother looked just about scandalized at my outburst and cursing. I had never uttered a single rude word around them in my life. Aunt Alice had her tiny hand over her mouth, pain in her eyes. Uncle Jazz’s expression was hard and he kept his eyes down. Uncle Emmett was at a loss, but almost looked a little oddly pleased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked to Aunt Rose before going further and she nodded. She was the only one who didn’t look surprised by anything I had to say, but she still looked fierce with anger on my behalf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took a deep breath to start again. I explained how she had helped me - </span>
  <em>
    <span>saved</span>
  </em>
  <span> me - and given me one of her homes in New York. Uncle Emmett looked shocked at first, but his expression melted into something like pride as he slid his arm around Aunt Rose’s shoulder gave her a little squeeze. Mom and Dad were frozen in place, hard looks on their stone faces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I told them about school and my classes. I was doing well in all of them and loved history and literature. I especially loved choir. I described each of my friends to them - compassionate Gabbie, warmhearted Josh, intellectual Zach, and loyal Kevin. I had to pause to wince after gushing about them, suddenly too aware of how worried and upset they probably were. I hadn’t touched my phone since turning it off to get on the plane and even then I hadn’t checked my texts when I did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then I explained the most important part. I told them about how I met Jo and moments we shared together. A lot of detail was omitted and I tried to will myself not to blush, but I did my best. I told them we had danced at prom and Mom flinched, but Dad let the corner of his mouth turn up a little. I told them about my birthday and Halloween and getting to eat traditional food for Thanksgiving thanks to Jo’s family. At some point, Jo tentatively reached over to wipe a tear off of my cheek and I hadn’t realized I was even crying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure have done a lot since you’ve left,” Dad said after a heavy moment of silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom nodded, unable to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s so nice to hear how happy you’ve been there,” Grandmother added. “Isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were quiet sounds of agreement from around the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can tell how much this means to you,” Uncle Jazz spoke up. “It’s almost amazing how deeply you care for your friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do!” I choked out. “I love the life I have there. I’m so lucky. There are countless stories of kids not fitting in at school or being ostracized or bullied. But these people all took me in the moment I met them. I was able to call five people my friends without much effort at all. They’re amazing.” I sniffled, suddenly wanting to be curled up in my bed back in New York and laughing at funny pictures being exchanged in our little group chat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, it was super awkward at first,” Jo said to me, trying to make me laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“True, but it was never actually bad. We got over it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did we?” she laughed quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This finally got me to giggle. Then I looked up and saw my family’s faces had softened, all eyes on us. My cheeks felt hot and I dropped my eyes to my feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to have to come up with something to tell everyone,” I said, changing the subject.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo looked pale at the thought. “Especially my parents. I, uh… got too nervous to deal with that and turned my phone off during the plane ride. Right before sending them a text that there was an emergency and to just trust me that I was fine. Probably not the best way to handle that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grandfather stepped forward from his place by Grandmother. “I’ll do what I can to smooth things out for you. Would you like to now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? How?” Jo blinked rapidly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come with me to my office. You’ll give me their phone number and I’ll call them on my phone to speak with them about what happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And… what happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Renna came into news that her grandmother was hospitalized and believed it to be very serious. Not thinking, she ran to catch the soonest plane she could. And you, being such a loyal girlfriend, were not going to let her travel so far on her own while she was in such a panic. It’s a simple case of teenagers getting too worked up to think straight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo’s jaw was practically on the floor. “Do you think they’ll buy that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave it to me. I can be pretty persuasive.” He chuckled and led Jo up the stairs to his office.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In the meantime, you can explain the situation with this curse,” Dad told me when Grandfather and Jo were out of sight. “Esme told us what Jo told her, but it was very limited information.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I fished the book out of Jo’s backpack on the floor, still laying there from earlier, and handed it to him. As I told my family everything I learned over the past few months, he flipped through the book and passed it on to the others. As I spoke, I heard a few gasps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is insane,” Aunt Alice said under her breath. “It’s been like this the whole time and no one knew.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How was anyone supposed to know?” Uncle Jazz said, putting his hand over hers. “This information has probably been forgotten for a very long time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll have to give this book to Billy Black,” Dad told me. “At least copies of all the pages. They need to know this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is Jake… handling this? Is he okay?” Mom’s voice was shaky.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I didn’t want to see him. I turned him away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You…” her face twisted in frustration. “You turned him away? At a time like this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mother</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I did. And I don’t feel bad about it. I won’t feel bad about it. I might not see him ever again. It would be my choice if I did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mom looked taken aback, but said nothing in reply. After a minute, she shook her head stiffly. “I’m sorry. This is just a lot to take in. You’re right. You don’t have to see him if you truly don’t want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My mouth popped open. Mom hugged me again, a gentle embrace this time, and whispered “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dad put his arms around the both of us. “I’m sorry. We all are. We’ll never be able to apologize to you enough, my sweet child. You’ve been so brave. And we are proud of you for doing what was right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We stayed like that for a few minutes and I sobbed into my parents arms while they mumbled soothing sounds to me as if I was still a baby. I melted into the nostalgic feeling of being loved and protected I had so desperately longed for since I had left. The feeling of being so small again and surrounded in a bubble of pure love by my parents… it was like the dark clouds in my heart were dissipating and I could see the stars again. The constellations of my birth family and my found family were clear and shining so bright. And the person who took my hand and led me through the darkest nights when those clouds were so thick that no light would shine through was here with me in the end. My guardian angel, my truest love, my own heart. She had been my north star, leading me home, and I knew she would lead me home again.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that, as they say, is fin. The next "chapter" posted will be the epilogue. As much as I'm sad to say it, this was the final main chapter in Renna's story. The epilogue will be as long as a normal chapter, if not longer. Thank you guys again so much for supporting this story. It's been over six months now. That's half a year! How did that much time go by? I'll write more in the notes next time, but for now I just wanted to let you guys know how much I appreciate what I've been able to do with this. I've proved to myself on some level that I am able to finish something like this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Epilogue (An Occasion)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My longest chapter yet and it isn't technically a main chapter, haha. I just kept writing and couldn't stop because I had so much to say and wrap up and it was too sad knowing "this is it, it's done now".</p>
<p>Here is the secret last song for the playlist I made for North Star. This would the "end credits" song. When Renna takes Jo off to the side at the end, play this.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkjN9OWikY8</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Epilogue</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I adjusted the purple cap on my head for the fifth time and blew out a rush of air. “Is it fine? It feels like it’s smushing my hair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo laughed. “Kind of. But I told you it’s fine. Why are you so worried about your hair, anyway? It’s not really like you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, it’s just that… ugh. My whole family is going to be watching. I’m just a little nervous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little?” She raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m allowed to be nervous! Unlike them, I really am going to do this only once.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still blows my mind they even bother. It sounds miserable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably is. I couldn’t imagine doing this all over again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me either. But we’re not totally in the clear, yet. We still have college.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smoothed my gown down and shook my head. “I’m sure it will be a lot different. Maybe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been to Will’s. It’s pretty similar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well…” I was cut off when the classmates around me stood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo, who was sitting behind me, patted my shoulder. “Your row’s up. You look </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just smile for the cameras.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shot up and shuffled to the stage of the auditorium with the others. It was finally time to end this chapter in my life. I was graduating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Graduating!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was amazing to think about. Not only was I able to keep the life I had made for myself, but I was successful with it. Even if my perfect recall had been getting a little hazier as time went on, I still made the top of my class. I ran my fingers over the gold cord around my neck, proudly displayed with my pink cord and my blue and gold cord. My family had an unspoken rule among themselves to not go so far in their high school academics as to take any honors away from a human who would have otherwise earned it. I, however, pushed myself to do everything I could do to end my high school career with flying colors. This was my one and only opportunity to do so and I was going to take it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Renna Lily Golden.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I let out a huge breath and started my slow walk across the stage, turning my head halfway to look out at the audience. Mom and Dad were sitting very close to the front, right in the center, with Mom holding a small camera. The looks on their faces, full to bursting with parental pride, made me smile wider. To their left was Grandfather and Grandmother, the latter giving me a small wave. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett were next to them. If I thought my parents looked proud of me, Aunt Rose looked like she was a few seconds away from marching up to the podium herself and shouting my praise to the whole school. I bit my lip to suppress a laugh. To the right was Aunt Alice, also with camera in hand, and Uncle Jazz who gave me a cheesy double thumbs up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next to them was Grandpa and Gramma Sue. I was beyond excited they could come. One good thing that came from my little stunt with Jo a few years ago was making plans to come back with her to see my family regularly during the year. Jo and I visited Washington for our Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and summer breaks and every time my family made sure it was memorable. Included in the festivities now was always Grandpa and Gramma Sue. It might have helped that there were festivities to include them in in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grandmother got to live her big dream of making a proper holiday feast for me. And I got to live my dream of having Jo by my side at a true Thanksgiving dinner with my whole family. Between me, Jo, my human grandparents, Leah, and Seth, none of the food went to waste.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was another thing that got better after that fateful day. I was a lot closer to Leah, and Seth by extension, since they were Gramma Sue’s children. I talked to Leah all the time. I spotted her and Seth with everyone in the audience. They insisted on coming along.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I reached the podium where the principal was standing, one hand holding my diploma with Honeycomb Preparatory Academy’s seal and one hand outstretched to shake mine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Congratulations, Renna. We’re lucky we got to know you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was probably the same line she told everyone today, but I teared up regardless. I grasped her hand and the diploma and we both turned our heads and smiled for the cameras. I had no doubt between Mom and Aunt Alice that this moment would be perfectly immortalized. In just a few seconds, the moment was over and I kept walking to the other end of the stage. Four whole years lead up to this event and it was already over. It was almost anticlimactic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When everyone had received their diplomas and the ceremony was called to a close, caps sailed into the air and cheers erupted from all over. I found mine easily enough, thanks to Jo bedazzling the edges for me several days prior. People were pouring out the exits now, all trying to get to their after parties as soon as possible. I waded my way through the crowd to my own family and felt a tug on my arm when I reached them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna! We’re free!” Gabbie was all smiles, bobbing up and down on her toes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, for one, am excited for the party,” Josh said from behind his sister.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same! It was super nice for your family to include us. They’ve been so cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, a triple party is better than just a normal one, right?” I elbowed Gabbie playfully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds like it’s three parties at the same time. It’s just one party for us three. You’re going to whip Gabbie up into a frenzy.” Josh poked Gabbie in the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can still be excited,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re just excited because your boyfriend is going to be there,” he teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabbie blushed and smacked his shoulder. I smiled. Gabbie and Zach had been dating for over a year now. When he found out they were both going to go to the same college, he got a huge confidence boost and pulled her aside that day to tell her how he felt. Apparently he had liked her since they were freshmen, which surprised and delighted Gabbie to no end. She was finally able to fill him in that she felt the same way. It was kind of funny then, realizing they could have been dating the entire time because they always had these mutual feelings, but both of them were too shy with their feelings to admit it to the other. Funny how things work out that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We were all ushered by my family to the parking lot so we could pile back into the cars they rented. Josh and Gabbie left with their parents and Jo left with Will and her parents. Three cars had been rented for my family for their stay here. I rode with my parents, plus Aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz in the back with me. Aunt Alice slipped my graduation gown and cap off of me before we left, straightening the rose gold cocktail dress she picked out for me for the event.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My family had spared no expense for my one and only graduation. Part of a local country club had been rented out to use for mingling, dancing, and catering. I briefly wondered if any of them were actually members of the country club, but didn’t wrack my brain too hard about it. If they wanted something to happen, it would happen. Fairy lights were strung up all over a covered deck outside and tables were lined with snacks and drinks. A Top 40s station was playing faintly in the background and a few people were already milling about, enjoying the scenery.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When we got out, Aunt Alice smoothed my dress for me again and ran her delicate fingers through my hair. I had never let it grow out. The short hair grew on me. Well, it literally grew on me now. Every few months Jo trimmed it back for me. The family had mixed reactions to it after the initial emergency of breaking the curse. Aunt Rose found it humorous and complimented me for my bold choice. Aunt Alice was thrilled and liked to tease it with mousse and wax whenever one of us was visiting the other. The grandparents collectively were very polite about it and told me it suited me. It was my parents that had to take some convincing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dad started out broaching the topic with a subtle “so, your hair is different”. Mom, however, took off at the gate with “</span>
  <em>
    <span>your beautiful hair!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” and spent close to ten minutes combing it with her fingers with a confused look on her face. She had always been very partial to my hair growing up, telling me there had been no comparison for the beauty of it. I knew Dad must have agreed with her, though he never said it out loud. But I had taken the time to explain my decision and the freedom and weightlessness it brought to my mind and I slowly coaxed smiles out of them again. They were happy that I was happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna!” I heard a familiar voice yell. Kevin was walking towards me with Zach at his side. Gabbie, Josh, and Jo were close behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! I’m so glad you guys could make it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We would miss it for the world,” Zach told me. “Good to see the entire gang of cousins could come, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My very youthful family would never in a million years pass as my parents and grandparents, so I went with the rushed story Jo and I came up with when I started school here. Mom and Dad were my cousins, clearly the same age as I was. Everyone else was also listed as a cousin. Everyone except Aunt Rose. She put in the effort and costume makeup to age herself appropriately and was introduced as my mother when my family finally got to meet my friends. Mom wasn’t too happy with the arrangement, but it couldn’t be helped. Jo and I had already told everyone Mom was my cousin when they saw her photo and we couldn’t blow my cover.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you liking college so far, Mr. Cartwright?” Aunt Rose asked him, tone full of sweetness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Ms. Golden! Hello!” Zach grinned awkwardly, not intending to leave her out. Aunt Rose smiled wider. “It’s great, actually. I made the robotics team my second semester.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s wonderful. And you, Mr. Wilder?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin shuffled his feet, not making eye contact with Aunt Rose. “It’s fine.” He ran his hand through his hair, now a deep, dark brown instead of black. He stopped dying it when he went to college and it made me wonder why he even bothered if it was already so dark.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“His grades would probably be higher though if he focused more on his books instead of boyfriend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sh- shut up!” Kevin glared at Zach, who was shaking with suppressed laughter. “He’s not-!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yet. Whatever. You picked on me when I started dating Gabbie so I get to pick on you now. It’s only fair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kevin didn’t reply, but he grumbled and stomped away to the refreshment tables, unable to hide his red face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s going to stop coming to see you on breaks if you keep pushing him like that,” Jo said, shaking her head at Zach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please. You talk as if he isn’t still planning to come over to play Street Fighter after this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you ever get tired of playing the same thing over and over?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a new edition, Jo. I just got this game.” Zach rolled his eyes. “You understand, dontcha Renna?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked over at Zach, momentarily distracted by the gazebo covered in lights behind the covered deck. The lights twinkling on the pond surrounding it were mesmerizing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh? Oh, yeah. Totally.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zach turned to look where he assumed I was looking, right at the food. “You better go get something in you before you crash out here. You’re zoning out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took the opportunity to move my feet and gave everyone a smile. “That sounds like a plan. Shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took Jo’s hand and we walked over with Zach to the food. Zach found Kevin sulking with a plate of appetizers and sat down with him, Kevin’s mood getting lighter the more they talked. Gabbie and Josh started making rounds greeting their relatives who came for the party. Jo and I meandered around, picking at the food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I spotted Leah, leaning against a wall and sipping a drink. Seth was nearby, who was piling as much food as he could fit onto a plate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey. I’m glad you came,” I said, walking up to her. She smiled over her cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t miss it. I’ve also got cards from the pack to give you. Jared and Kim also sent a wedding invite, because they’re tacky like that.” She laughed and shook her head jokingly. “There’s also ones from Sam and Emily. Emily says hi, by the way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I knew before I even took the cards from Leah that Sam’s and Emily’s would be separate. They had been divorced for a couple years now. The day the imprint curse was broken, they separated without much need for discussion. I had heard it was mostly an exchange of </span>
  <em>
    <span>I need to leave</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know</span>
  </em>
  <span> before Sam packed up and left. A year later, they quietly filed for divorce and changed places. Sam moved back in the house in La Push and Emily left with Rachel to live in Pullman, where Rachel had lived before her imprint.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel was still seeing Paul, however. She was able to clearly communicate her discomfort living in La Push to Paul and Paul was able to understand that her mental health was more important than having her be glued to his side. They decided to get to know each other all over again, to start over, and they formed a slow paced, long distance relationship. Paul visited her often. They both seemed a lot happier with this arrangement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quil had a more difficult time getting back to normal, if he was even there now to begin with. He refused to speak for the longest time. Leah had said even his thoughts were just wordless jumbles. Then he started taking up a large number of new hobbies and kept himself very busy. He was very into meditation and art now - painting, leatherwork, staining glass. He’d gotten really good at it, too. And now, on top of all that, he had been spending a lot of time doing work for an endangered species conservation group, focusing on wolves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>True to his word, he never went anywhere within range of Claire again. She was confused at first, but since the imprint was broken and she was still a child, she bounced back and moved on quickly. Quil was relieved. He was busy with his work now and it seemed to make him happier, or at least more content. He smiled more often and was finding his voice again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah looked up and cleared her throat. “There’s also one from… Jacob.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was something I was still trying to figure out, even now. Jacob was also true to his word and kept his distance so long as I said to. He never bothered me, never reached out to me. It was surreal to be listened to and have him stay away. There were a few events I agreed to around him, though. We were near each other for Leah and Seth’s graduations and a few holidays over the years. We never interacted much. There were awkward hellos and how-have-you-beens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he became more confident with the situation, he sometimes sent me gifts for my birthday and Christmas. They were always pieces Quil had done, like small paintings or prints of his photography. I didn’t mind receiving them. They were all pretty and I kept them hung up in a sunroom by the kitchen in my home. It was easier to accept them knowing it was Quil’s work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His card’s envelope was fatter than the others and I knew there’d be another “Quil Original” inside. The front showed the names </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jacob and Billy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I sighed, but a laugh came out at the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah was typing on her phone and looked back to me. “He’s asking if you’re having fun at your party. And, uh, if he’s allowed to see a picture of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I set the cards on a table nearby for the graduation gifts and kept my eyes on my hands. “I’m having fun.” I paused and let out a breath. “You can send him a picture if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll try to get food then. That’s probably what any of these guys are interested in, anyway.” She lifted her phone up and took a few steps back to get as much of the deck in the shot as she could. On a whim, I took Jo’s hand and walked in front of one of the tables.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah’s brow quirked up. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded. I was a different person now. It also wasn’t like I hated Jacob. I resented him and hated what he did back then, but it was clear how much of a different person he was now, too, since the curse had been broken. Any time I’d seen him in person after that, he had a genuinely remorseful look in his eyes and he made an effort to keep his distance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I waved Seth over, too. He found a place for his plate, but grabbed a finger sandwich on his way over anyway. We all huddled together, Seth with a big grin and stuffed cheeks and Jo and I with our hands clasped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got it and sent it. Aaaand you’re covered in food, Seth. Awesome.” Leah looked at her brother sarcastically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s good food! I can’t help it!” He laughed and swiped the crumbs off his shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, he already replied. He says it looks really nice. And Renna, he says you look really happy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I squeezed Jo’s hand. “I am happy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah went back to her spot against the wall, texting Jacob and smiling at her phone. They had gotten closer lately and spent a lot of time talking. I had caught them stealing glances at each other with flushed faces last Christmas. I wondered if there never had been an imprint if he would have ended up with Leah a long time ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jo noticed me staring off in thought and ushered me back to the food to perk me up. I smiled as she made a big show of waving her hands over the food like she was showcasing a car. She always knew how to bring me back and lift my mood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, there’s shrimp puffs. Kind of like that one Christmas.” Jo held up the little morsel of food and stuffed it in her mouth. After taking a moment to swallow, she laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. And you didn’t get to eat anything there. I still feel bad to this day, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, don’t! That place you took me to after we got back was so amazing. Renna, I had an entire lobster! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.” She reached out for another shrimp puff, lost in a daydream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was only after you were done being grounded. We had to wait months for that date.” I pouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was well worth the wait. Besides, they could have done a lot worse. Dr. Cullen really worked his magic. I’m convinced if he hasn’t talked to them, I’d still be on lockdown.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still feel bad. Plus, it took just about that long to convince Gabbie and to not be so upset about it. You should have seen all the food I had to bribe </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span> with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna!” Jo laughed again. “It was years ago! It’s a funny story now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess in a way it is. It’s at least memorable. Even without my perfect recall, I’ll never forget it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the spirit.” Jo’s smile was softer now and she cupped my face with her hand. I had grown a little since I first met her and no longer had to tilt my face so far to kiss her. I leaned over and placed my lips gently on hers. When we separated, she let out a contented sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go walk over here,” I said, taking her hand and leading her to the gazebo. My heart was pounding in my ears and I hoped she couldn’t feel it, too. We crossed a short footbridge that led to the gazebo, which I noticed now were also covered in vines hosting white flowers. The air was sweet and floral. Luckily, we could still hear the music from here. A soft, slow song played over the sound of birdsong from the trees further back. It was evening now and a few crickets ventured to aid in the symphony around us.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I let my eyes fall on Jo. My ever-present angel. She had taken a year off from school after graduating the year before me so we could enter college together. She filled that year with volunteer work and finding new hobbies to explore. She had joined a gardening club when the weather turned warmer and spent a lot of time outside. Her sun kissed skin practically glowed now, especially against the light seafoam green of her dress that swished around her legs. Her golden hair was pinned up in an intentionally messy way, like honey dripping down her cheeks. Dark lashes framed those perfect eyes that made my heart melt if I looked into them too long. Every graceful curve and toned edge of this girl made my heart sing. I never wanted to be apart from her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took her hand then, placing my other on her hip and pulling her close. She followed my lead and we swayed to the music, lost in each other’s presence. Her skin was warm and soft. I was tempted to lean further into her and drink in her scent, but I needed to concentrate. I was planning something important here, after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stilled my feet and pulled my hands up to caress her face, resting my forehead against hers. “Jo... “</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna, this is so nice. I’m so happy.” Her whispered words danced across my skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo, you are so important to me. You’ve been with me every step of the way in this new journey. This new life as a… human. And every day the powers I had back then are slipping away more and more. Before I lose it completely, I wanted to do something for you. Here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before she could ask what was happening, I pushed every last ounce of my power to her to show her just how much I love her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I showed her all of my most treasured memories of us together. I showed her the first time I saw her, ethereal and otherworldly in the clearing by our houses. I showed her my dream in that same clearing and seeing her face so close after waking up. I showed her my other dreams, always of her watching me and inching closer and closer. Little moments faded in and out, like grazing her hand with mine or sneaking glances at her concentrating on her music sheets. Our first homecoming came into view and I showed her how breathtaking she looked surrounded by all those stars. There was so much else I wanted her to see - our first kiss, our first date, laying in her arms in the clearing, cooking meals together, playing games and laughing and crying and being honest with each other. I even showed her bits of our journey to break the curse and how strong she looked then. I wanted her to see everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memories faded away and we were back to seeing reality. Jo’s eyes were full of unshed tears and the fairy lights caught in those glistening pools in a magical way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna…” She was at a loss for words. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, she closed it again. She was trembling and the first of her tears came tumbling down her cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jo. Every memory with you has made me a better person. A stronger, more capable, happier person. I try everyday to show you this and to give back some of that happiness in return. My dream is to make so many more memories with you and spend all the time I can giving you what you’ve given me. You’ve brought hope into my life, Jo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna…. I-” Her voice was barely above a raspy whisper. I had to strain to hear her now, no longer able to pick up on a pin dropping from across a room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I placed a finger on her rosy lips. “Shh. Jo. I know we’re young right now, so don’t feel like this is as official as it seems if you don’t want to. Consider it a promise. But I vow to you now that I intend to be by your side for the rest of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pulled a small, velvet covered box out of the pocket of my dress. Her mouth popped open and her eyes were as wide as saucers. A mousy, choked noise was all she made. I held the box out to her and she took it with shaking hands, lifting open the lid. Inside was a delicate white gold band with a round, blue stone sitting front and center. Two tiny green stones were nestled to one side against it. I spent a very long time designing this ring for her, with the help of Aunt Alice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you like it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Renna… I can’t… believe you…” She sounded out of breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” I was starting to get a little worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I just… wow. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you like me to put in on you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded. I took the ring out of the box and held my hand out, letting her decide which one to give me. After a bit of thought, she placed her left hand in mine. My heart skipped a beat. I inched the ring near her fingers and her ring finger twitched. Did she really want to wear it like this? So officially to the world? I could feel how hot my face was as I slid the ring onto her finger and she tilted her hand so it would catch the light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this what I think it is? The clearing?” She looked at me in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you noticed. It’s a blueberry.” I chuckled. “It’s something that’s held a lot of meaning to me for a long time now. Maybe it’s lame, but I wanted you to have a piece of that part of my heart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s so beautiful, Renna. Everything about it is. Thank you.” She brought the hand to her face and her tears ran faster. “And it’s crazy, considering…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Considering what?” Crazy? Was something about this wrong?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I… um…” She shuffled around with the skirt of her dress and thrust her hand out to me. “That I did that same thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My head dropped forward, caught completely off guard. Now it was my turn to be speechless. In her hands was a small box, similar to the one I handed her. I opened it and found a silver ring with two hearts looped through each other. Tiny blue stones lined the inside of one of the hearts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh… It’s funny that they’re both blue. But I just thought the color would look nice on you. And it’s your birthstone. I wish I had thought about the blueberries, but I was so nervous at the time that I was lucky I could even think at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was crying now, rubbing my eyes with my arm. “It’s perfect. It’s so perfect.” Laughter bubbled up inside me. “We’re so funny. I can’t believe we both were thinking the same thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess that means we have to be together, now.” She gave me a lopsided smile, her eyes still sparkling with tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here.” I held out my left hand for her and she slid my ring on my finger, just like hers. I could picture it in my mind so clearly, as if it was one of Aunt Alice’s visions, our future together. We would go to college, study hard, and laugh harder. We would move into the house Aunt Rose had given to me. It would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> home. We could adopt dogs, cats… maybe both. We would travel and I would see the world Jo has gotten to see and so much more. We would have holiday parties for our families and have visits from any children Gabbie, Zach, Josh, or Kevin might have. We would make sure those kids were spoiled. And Jo and I would grow old together. We would experience all of the milestones of a human couple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I would have to ask Aunt Alice if she could see anything like that now that I was more human. My family was slowly more willing to talk about my humanity the more they came to terms with accepting my mortality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We stood there, hand in hand, until the music faded away and our guests were called inside to have cake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re probably needed in there. Considering I am one of the people this party was thrown for and all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. We should probably go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of us moved. I leaned closer to Jo, surrounded in the lovely scent of her, and mouthed </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span> against her lips. She returned the gesture and we stayed there in our warm embrace, entwined arms and tender lips, dancing to the tune of the crickets’ song.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow! What am I supposed to say at the end of a six and a half month journey? First of all, I did keep my promise! I finished it! It's crazy to think I did it. I've never written anything this long before. I'm hoping I can use what I learned here to finish writing my original works I have going. I hope that one day when I do finish those, maybe you guys would be interested if they got published (self or otherwise). That's the dream.</p>
<p>I hope Renna, Jo, and the gang have kept you company and made you smile. They'll always be in a special place in my heart. Maybe this all too sentimental and mushy, but I can't help it. This has been my life for half a year. Thank you all for being here with me for this. The encouragement here kept me going a lot of the time. It's surreal to think there are other people emotionally invested in this right along with me.</p>
<p>Here's the playlist again in case anyone wants to have it:<br/>https://music.amazon.com/user-playlists/81ef6e63885f4dff85d005657d66d37asune?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&amp;musicTerritory=US<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pYWxEl7rSShNIo2qIvbT9?si=kV3bRdEaSbSn_ynk1IoPSg&amp;nd=1</p>
<p>And my book/fantasy/(let's be real, mostly) Twilight sideblog on Tumblr is tumblr.com/sanguinem-requiem since that seems relevant.</p>
<p>Thank you all again for reading and leaving your comments and kudos. You all are stars.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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